Famous panels: Kitty Pryde

I came across Comic Book Resources’ Top 70 Most Iconic Marvel Panels of All-Time the other day. Sure, the list came out four years ago, but I didn’t have a website then.  We all know most of these panels because I guess that’s the point of the list, but I don’t think we know the stories behind them (or at least I didn’t).  So how about every once in a while, I’ll take one or two of these panels and we’ll dig deep to see the stories that inspired them.  Today, I chose #24 and Friday we’ll do #19.  You remember seeing this somewhere before?

If you pick up X-Men comics nowadays, Kitty Pryde pretty much exemplifies everything we know and love about superheroes.  And while today she’s probably only in her mid-twenties, the Marvel universe has her to thank for it still breathing many times over.  That and she actually leads the huge roster of X-Men now (with Wolverine and Storm).  I guess if you don’t count Cyclops’ fringe almost-terrorist group running around.  But when she first showed up in comics in 1980, Kitty premiered up as an eighth grader and by far the youngest member of the X-Men to this point.

After a bunch of crazy stuff happens, Professor X gets kidnapped and brainwashed by the Brood aliens and gathers up a team of pubescent mutants to sacrifice to these Broods.  Happy ending as you figure, but now Professor X has to decide what to do with this new group.  In Uncanny X-Men #167, written by Chris Claremont and drawn by Paul Smith, he figures he can kill two birds with one stone instead of justifying sending a child into deadly combat:

Yes, he is.  But for numerous other reasons I can shamelessly plug.  Before we get into Kitty Pryde’s adolescent outbursts, you should know some weird things go on in this issue.  Like this visit to the Fantastic Four:

The only information you need to know from that page scene is that Johnny Storm wears briefs.  Also, our dear Nightcrawler gets friend-zoned by Storm in record time:

Nightcrawler doesn’t match most of Storm’s lovers (they tend to be muscular, in leadership roles, and not covered in blue fur).  But anyway, in the next issue Uncanny X-Men #168, written by Claremont and drawn by Smith, Professor Xavier is a jerk.

So now Kitty has to prove herself to the good professor, which may be difficult when her teammates all have the capability to grow beards and drink alcohol.  Nevertheless, she tries relentlessly.

Professor X can’t be moved so easily to send the child out to the Savage Land and fight dinosaurs or whatever.  Of course, because the Marvel world has a dozen supervillains/bad guys to every one superhero, something inevitably goes bad.  Suspicious, even.

I’m going to interrupt our story for a minute.  I have a development on Nightcrawler’s love life:

Yes, “Yum!”  I think you should know that it’s not his tail holding the glass of wine.  Anyway, something fishy in the basement with electronics or something.  Kitty investigates, because gosh darn it, that’s what real X-Men do.

Yes, her codename used to be Sprite.  And Shadowcat.  Also, did you know Kitty has a pet dragon?

She proves her worth through three or four pages of her and Lockheed jump kicking giant laser bugs. In about a year, she receives her certified ninja training right in the heart of Japan by the supervillain/ninja master Ogun.  Fictional characters accomplish far more than we do in far less time. Professor Xavier may be a jerk, but he can see her potential’s wasted with those idealistic, optimistic teenagers over in the New Mutants.  Let her uppercut Sentinels if that’s what she wants to do.

And that’s the story of how Kitty Pryde joined the New Mutants for one issue.  Daredevil on Friday!

The Nightcrawler and Scalphunter exchange

An attempt for diversity in comics will never go away.  And I’m glad, because the superhero world could use more characters that aren’t white males.   Frankly, as a white male myself, I have a horde of do-gooders to pick from who look and sound like me.  It’s nice.  Plenty of role models to choose from.  But a few more options for those who aren’t white men would be nice.

Actually, it wouldn’t be so bad to have some various colors and species among the supervillains as well. Luckily for us, Marvel gave us the Native American baddie John Greycrow — supervillain name Scalphunter.  To be fair, DC premiered a character named Scalphunter a decade before Marvel, but he’s unrelated.

Anyway, as a mutant, Scalphunter can heal quickly and control machines or something.  Here’s his evil introduction in Uncanny X-Men #211, written by Chris Claremont and drawn by John Romita Jr. & Bret Blevins:

See?  The guy’s bad news.  But as you know from the article title today, this isn’t only a Scalphunter story.  And as wildly different as Nightcrawler and Scalphunter are (Comanche techno-morph versus German Catholic half-demon) their story becomes intertwined during the X-Men event Messiah Complex.

In X-Men #205, written by Mike Carey and drawn by Chris Bachalo, the team battles the Marauders:

In Scalphunter’s final act of desperation, you’ll realize why Nightcrawler’ll have the baddie on his mind for quite a while.

Obviously Nightcrawler gets better.  More importantly, a few months after this, Cyclops disbands the X-Men.  Fallout from Messiah Complex and whatnot.  Now with the X-Men spreading throughout the country and not much on their plates (killer robots and monsters usually tend to attack groups), the mutants have time to deal with other matters.  Like grudges.

Scalphunter and Nightcrawler meet one more time in X-Men: Divided We Stand #1, a compilation of short stories.  Ours is written by Matt Fraction and drawn by Jamie McKelvie.  On the run, our former supervillain decides to make a living cooking in a desert diner.

Notice that last thought box?  I forgot to mention one of the most important parts: Scalphunter’s been dead for a long time.  Y’see, the Marauders work for Mr. Sinister, quite possibly the most dangerous X-Men supervillain since Magneto switched sides.  Proof from Uncanny X-Men #221, written by Chris Claremont and drawn by Mark Silvestri & Dan Green:

Mr. Sinister’s known for many things, like his forehead diamond and genius scientific mind (though he apparently didn’t get his PhD), but mostly for his cloning.  And boy, does he enjoy cloning.  Revealed eventually, every time one of the Marauders gets killed in combat (like all the time), he replaces them with an exact clone.  As you saw from the Scalphunter’s internal monologue, the dude hits the pavement quite a few times.  Unfortunately, with the Marauders disbanded and Mr. Sinister killed by Mystique during Messiah Complex, poor Scalphunter no longer has a replacement Scalphunter.  Now he serves eggs.

I know that’s a lot of dialogue.  Read it all, because it’ll reward you at our finale.  Have you figured out the secret identity of the talkative stranger?  I’ll give you some hints: he’s a Catholic priest, he spoke German, and his name is in the title of the article.  Thankfully, Nightcrawler possesses an image inducer that allows him to go into public without making small children cry.

While Scalphunter’s knowledge of philosophy and art borders on extreme apathy, he still notices a weirdo when he sees one.  Bad vibes are bad vibes, even from someone who compliments his pig-mush of food.  Unfortunately, you can imagine the story doesn’t end with Scalphunter riding his motorcycle freely into the night.  That’d be a terribly boring tale.

Yes, most proselytizing doesn’t begin with a jump kick to the face, but superheroes tend to attack first, convert second.  Though Nightcrawler does make his scary soul-crushing point in the tenderest manner possible:

See?  I told you reading all that dialogue would pay off.  Look, besides Fraction being a genius writer, I believe the Nightcrawler’s message means simply this: the mutants of the world, who are persecuted and hated, will one day find the peace and acceptance they desire through not just physical and mental superiority, but moral as well.  Which is pretty much exactly what Professor X preaches. While Scalphunter totally deserves to pay for the crimes and murders he committed, instead of simply awaiting another Scalphunter clone to eventually emerge, Nightcrawler changes the course of Scalphunter entirely.

Despite whatever concerns people have about religion, you cannot deny that it’s a healthy moral output for many people.  Criminals have religious conversations in prison for a reason.  There’s always a better way — in Nightcrawler’s case, forgiveness — and Scalphunter needed to see that instead of simply the mechanical, soul-less reproduction of his continued supervillainy.  I love it, and it solidifies Nightcrawler’s place as a proper role model in the Marvel universe.

I’d like to believe if he hadn’t been killed during the X-Men event Second Coming, he would be the moral compass of the X-Men universe right now (instead of Wolverine).  But he returns to comics soon! And more importantly, a German half-demon devoutly religious mutant certainly counts for diversity, right?

Wolverine, Spider-Man vs. Planet Doom

While researching Wolverine stuff, I came across this picture on Google image search:

Go ahead.  Click it for the larger version.  That’s no fan art, my dear readers — that’s a page from Astonishing Spider-Man & Wolverine.  And the second my eyes laid upon this beautiful piece of art, like a raccoon stumbling upon an overturned trash can, I had to find out the beginning and end of this gorgeous page.  Wolverine versus Planet Doom, the living planet?  Hell yes.

So, enjoy a few scenes from Astonishing Spider-Man & Wolverine #2-3, written by genius Jason Aaron and drawn by genius Adam Kubert.  At the beginning of the miniseries, the two buddies get lost in time/worlds/dimensions.  Those kinds of stories tend to go over my head, but as of now, the two have spent a few months living on a world full of apes.  Unfortunately, as you saw, Planet Doom approaches.  Luckily, Peter Parker’s a brilliant scientist.

You think superhero-ing involves busting a few muggers or stopping a bank robbery now and then, but in the comic book world, world-destroyers show up far more often than initially believed.  While Spider-Man can totally take on charging dudes in rhino suits and old men with wings, Galactus-level threats are out of his skillset.  To be fair, Wolverine’s too.

To destroy a Galactus-level threat, a Galactus-level weapon’ll be needed.

I like the next few pages as Wolverine walks morosely towards his own death.  It’s a combination of shameless bragging mixed with shameful regret.  And by the way, don’t feel bad for Wolverine.  The man’s a hundred years old, has back hair that rivals most zoo animals, officially stands at 5’3″, repeatedly told how awful he smells, and has a remarkably unlikable personality.  Yet his life has been pretty freakin’ awesome.  Here, let Wolverine explain:

While I wouldn’t mind a six-page spread of Wolverine clawing and slashing a planet to ribbons, a Phoenix Force gun remains just as dramatic.  It’s essentially a bullet that shoots nuclear bombs, if nuclear bombs possessed a power to kill billions of people across thousands of planets.

Y’know, whenever world-destroyers show up in comics, like the Phoenix Force or Galactus, we’re always treated to them annihilating a world or two first so we know their power.  Builds suspense and creates higher stakes.  Yet the Fantastic Four or the X-Men have singlehandedly take down these extreme threats.  I’m not saying other species on other planets are wildly weak, but when the Skrull or Kree empires try to conquer Earth, how are they not barraged with volumes of stories about the twelve or so superheroes that took down the universe’s biggest threats.  And that doesn’t even include a newer roster filled with the actual god of Thunder or man with the power of literally a million suns.  Is it pride that drives these aliens’ greed?  Bragging rights?  A simple love for competition?

Oh yeah, Wolverine versus Planet Doom.

Spider-Man mourns, because while the two don’t enjoy each other’s company, it’s going to be hard for Spider-Man to explain to the superheroes back home that Wolverine disintegrated himself on a monkey planet against an evil moon-like object.

Three and half issues to go, readers.  Go pick this miniseries up, if only because you’ll get to see Peter Parker with a full beard.