Batman and Catwoman fight crime, fall in love

Gotham City’s a busy place.  Batman has little room in his schedule for stuff like a social life or happiness.  Though despite his neverending, soul crushing war on crime, he gets lonely, and not just for the platonic company of flexible teenage boys.  But who’s he supposed to date?  He would have to constantly lie, cancel dates, and always worry about her safety.  Well, what about a woman who can fit perfectly into his night time hobby?  A woman who can protect herself?

Catwoman?  Why, she’s purr-fect!  Yes, I accept PayPal.

We should talk about her for a quick paragraph.  Catwoman, real name Selina Kyle, had her origin reshaped by Frank Miller (he wrote Sin City and 300) as a prostitute with a heart of gold.  She sees Batman beat up some bad guys and realizes she should learn to fight to protect the other hussies. And it wouldn’t hurt to learn how to crack a safe.  Fast forward to today.  She’s a master thief, skilled martial artist and has her own assortment of cat gadgets somehow hidden on that skintight costume.

Our adventure takes place in Batman: Hush, written by Jeph Loeb.  Catwoman and Batman have been flirting forever, the only thing keeping them apart being Bruce Wayne’s difficult personality and Kyle’s ambiguous moral compass.  Not anymore.  Has Batman finally punched through the cautious and untrusting walls of his heart?

What melodrama you think!  Bruce Wayne’s a player!  He’s dated every socialite in Gotham – and before they get blown up or kidnapped!  Yeah, Wayne has, but this isn’t Wayne we’re talking about. It’s Batman.

An argument frequently brought up by comic book fans remains which identity is the real one?  Does Bruce Wayne hide his identity as Batman or does Batman pretend to be Bruce Wayne?  I’m more in the latter camp.  He dates models for that fake playboy image, but with Catwoman?  He means it. Finally.

While Batman may not be the greatest boyfriend, don’t forget that Catwoman has some emotional hang ups of her own.

Look, Batman’s not a delicate flower or anything, but he did just expose his vulnerability by expressing affection for another human being.  And Batman never does that.  Though Kyle is a strong, independent woman who’s not going to be bossed around by a man in a giant bat costume.  And to be fair, she’s right.  Have you detected an upcoming theme?

We skip to Metropolis, where the two have arrived to capture Poison Ivy.

Wouldn’t make a good story without an impossible obstacle for our hero to overcome.  C’mon, Poison Ivy has cool plant powers, but how tough can she possibly be?  Besides actual proof that Catwoman cares for Batman, what reason would actually make Kyle worry?  Nonchalant’s her middle name.

Oh, that reason.  Batman versus the Poison Ivy-possessed Superman is one of the best fights between the two I’ve ever read.  You have to read the book to find out though.

If you’ve read a lot of Batman comics, you may know that Catwoman isn’t the only woman capable of fighting alongside Batman.  So why her?  Why not Zatanna or Talia al Ghul?  Because:

When you find that special lady who hates crime as much as you do, hold onto her.

Unfortunately, for as fast and nimble as Kyle is, she didn’t spend a decade traveling around Europe training under the finest martial artists and ninjas in the world.  Y’know, like Batman did.  Hush is 12 issues long, so I’m skipping a bunch of context and plot, but after Harley Quinn and Joker attack the opera, Catwoman gets injured.

Yes, she’s not some kid.  Because he’s not attracted to kids, unlike what some political organizations want you to think.  More importantly, her catty (sorry) behavior has a simple explanation: for this relationship to work, she has to be treated as an equal.  Not just as a girlfriend, but as a superhero.  I promise you Batman isn’t cradling a bleeding Green Lantern in his arms.  She’s spent her entire life proving she doesn’t need anyone’s help and being seen as the damsel in distress hits a nerve.

Well, Batman needs his eyes to beat up bad guys, so he leaves to pursue the Joker.  And in Batman’s fragile mental state, maybe it’s time to finally settle this Joker matter.

Y’see, Catwoman knows the slippery slope.  Speaking of which, want to know why you shouldn’t date someone who punches for a living?

I’m just saying your boyfriend wouldn’t smack you in your open wound.  You know how many diamonds it’s going to take for Kyle to get over this?  Wayne’s lucky he’s a billionaire.  But besides using his ninja arts on his old lady, he really does care about her.  I promise.

And how does he prove that?  How could Wayne show Catwoman that he sees her as an equal?  That he loves her?  You know who dates a lot?  Nightwing.  What’s his advice?

Oh yeah, forgot to mention that while Batman knows Kyle’s name, address, social security number and whatever else, Catwoman hasn’t the faintest idea of Batman’s identity.  Now I’m no Dear Abby, but maybe the first step in a successful relationship is both people knowing each other’s names.  Get ready for a pillar of panels.

So what happens now?  Crimefighter babies?  At least a tour of the bat cave.

Yup, happy ending.  The two solve mysteries, patrol the city, make love while dodging bat guano. Family portraits, family Christmas cards, family waterpark trips.  No, of course not.

Batman holds the title of world’s greatest detective.  That comes with a flash flood of distrust.  The first Robin left Batman because Batman didn’t trust him, and that’s after nearly a decade of the two being around each other almost 24/7.  Wayne has some issues he needs to work through.

But he showed her his secret identity!  He let her into his life!  He hit her bloody shoulder!  Look, Batman and Catwoman have known and flirted with each other for roughly fifteen comic book years at this point.  Wayne’s close to middle aged and Kyle pushed past 30 a long time ago.  And then finally he reveals his identity.  Then he lets her into the underground cave.  Then he’s actually sorry he beat her up.  Catwoman’s not stupid.  She tried, but if it took that long for Batman to let his guard down, it’ll take another decade and a half for him to be ready for an open and honest relationship.  She’s far from a perfect girlfriend, but the unfortunate truth is that Batman’s way worse.

Luckily, this story does end with something that is rarely seen in Batman comics.  Something that shows Batman has grown as a person and a superhero.

Yup, optimism.  Pretty sweet, huh?

14 Comments on “Batman and Catwoman fight crime, fall in love”

  1. that was a pretty awesome review for a lineup like that. hey I run a little comic review blog that i think you might be interested in. its should check it out if you have a minute or two. its comics movies games and what ever else catches my eye really. id love a follow and ill definately follow back. can never have too many people to talk comics with.

  2. octopussy says:

    thank you im from germany and im 14 years old so i cant read the comics thank you for this website !!! <33

  3. Nintendo DS says:

    Thanks for this website ! At last I can see a comic ,I am a superfan of batman and comics but I live in mexico and there are no comics around here,im a 12 year old girl, they call me DS cause of Nintendo DS , people ask why… But they call me this because Im a hardcore gamer, more than all the boys in the classroom, so where are you from? Where do you get all these comics? Well gotta go!, Keep on Keeping on, ok? And keep posting more comics ok?

  4. octopussy says:

    hey im back again well i have a question: I bought a book (Allstarbatman the boywonder) and I know that there is a Continuation to be made under the name: dark knight the boy wonder, ‘and I wanted to ask if you know anything about

    • Jason Levine says:

      I did a little bit of research. Apparently the book was supposed to come out like two years ago. But because of art delays and all that jazz, I believe it got cancelled. That’s unfortunate because All Star Batman & Robin sold really well, despite major delays with that title too. Hopefully we can see Dark Knight: Boy Wonder released one day.

  5. wwayne says:

    Jim Lee left Justice League, and a lot of bloggers think it’s because he’s going to work on an old series DC is planning to relaunch, WildC.A.T.S.. As you probably know, it was him who created this series, exactly 20 years ago.
    If you have an A-list artist, you give him an A-list series: WildC.A.T.S. would be a C-list one, so, in a normal situation, Jim Lee working on it is pure nonsense.
    But maybe in this case Jim Lee sticked obstinately to this project because he wants to bring his old series back to life, and DC decided to indulge his whim because otherwise their working relationship would have gone really uptight, and it would have ended as soon as possible. Jim Lee on a C-list title is better than Jim Lee on a Marvel title, DC thought.
    I hope Jim Lee won’t write WildC.A.T.S.: he’s an awesome penciller and he’s very skilled with creating characters (think about Grifter, for example), but his 90s stories were boring as all hell. Since then he always worked with the most talented writers, so maybe he learned something from them and got better, but I don’t think so: writing well is a talent, not a technique, so you can’t learn it from anybody, no matter how good your teacher is. Good writers are born, not made.
    But maybe all this hype about Jim Lee working on WildC.A.T.S. will be proved wrong: perhaps Jim Lee doesn’t want to slip back (especially now that he’s at the top of his career), no matter how fond he is of WildC.A.T.S., and perhaps DC never thought to bring WildC.A.T.S. back to life. Only time will tell.

  6. Elizabeth says:

    I wish yo guys would’ve let them kiss.The story could’ve gone a whole deferent way,instead of the same thing over and over.But it was good at least.

  7. Catwomanlove98 says:

    Hi, what comic are the pictures from?

  8. […] Superior Spider-Man Gay superheroes are the least weird things in comics She-Hulk loves Juggernaut Batman and Catwoman fight crime, fall in love Spider-Man takes on Morlun, Pt. 1 Spider-Man takes on Morlun, Pt. 2 Spider-Man takes on Morlun, Pt. […]

  9. thefool99 says:

    The one flaw is the story: Huntress doesn’t need outside income. She wouldn’t accept Elliots money.

  10. nic says:

    I really liked this. Havent been reading comics for awhile (cause I dont really like the new 52).But I do miss the old ones DC used to make though.

  11. N.Holden says:

    Um, no, if you accept the Frank Miller prostitute origin, you’re no Catwoman fan. You’re a participant in the vendetta of 80’s Bat-editor Denny O’Neill to take away her status as Bruce Wayne’s equal and clear the way for his little ship with Talia. You are validating a man-child’s abuse of his editorial position to have his way at the expense of a character girl’s and women loved. Shame on you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s