Gambling on Spider-ManPosted: 02/11/2014
If we consistently drop everything to follow a car chase every time it appears on TV, how can civilians in the superhero world ever get anything accomplished with all the daily battles? In New York City, with the combined rogue galleries of dozens of superheroes and superhero teams patrolling the city, I figure there must be at least two or three supervillains attacks a day. So all the normal folks, probably to ease some of the pain of living in a spandex-filled war zone, hope to gain some benefit from all this destructive world-saving. Y’know, a benefit besides not having Galactus eat the planet.
In the fantastic first half Spider-Man: Unlimited #11, written by Brian Reed and drawn by Michael Lark, our setting never ventures outside the bar:
Do you think the jokes distract criminals from realizing just how powerful Spider-Man is? Super speed, super strength, projectile webs, spider-sense, and a genius intelligence. Though all those powers still pale to Hulk’s potential — the ability to crush Spider-Man into a red-and-blue smear of goo. The responsible ex-cons and beer patrons take advantage of this chaos:
One of the benefits of comics allows the artist to make a character invisible while still showing their face. We have no idea the identity of this Spider-Man fan — it could be anyone from a Peter Parker clone to the Silver Surfer to Black Panther, though chances are probably slim on that last one. Lark’s a super talented artist, but I like the idea of anonymity while still prominently in the spotlight.
Hint: it’s not Professor X or Jean Grey. After years of Spider-Man punching his way around the city, it can’t be difficult to imagine someone figured out his combat formula. Though Spider-Man’s fighting style usually involves less technique and more a focus on tether ball.
Logistics aside, I can totally see Spider-Man beating the practically invulnerable, limitlessly strong Hulk. Sure, Hulk could liquify Spider-Man with one solid kick, but superheroes hold back. Especially when fighting buddies. Besides, a series where Hulk spent every issue jumping around effortlessly stomping the Marvel universe into paste would only last two or three hundred issues max.
Oh, and figured out the mystery Spider-Man expert? Spoiler alert:
The trailers are dashing my hopes, but I wish Jamie Foxx’ll wear the starfish hat in the new movie.