Catwoman with superpowers, Pt. 1

About three months ago, we looked at the issues where Batman briefly gained Superman’s powers. Spoiler alert: it goes badly.  In a weird (what’s the version of racism for those with superpowers?) power-ist way, those superheroes without anything extra shouldn’t gain the abilities that throw their systems into whack.  Like Batman not doing stuff like sleeping or eating or anything not related to the eternal quest of solving every world’s problem.  And today, his on/off-again girlfriend gets her turn with invincibility, super strength, etc.  Luckily for readers, she’s also unstable and not emotionally healthy enough for anything above a leather outfit and a whip.  We’ll read the excitement together within the pages of Catwoman #75-77, written by Will Pfeifer and drawn by David Lopez.

So in the miniseries Salvation Run, all the supervillains get rounded up and teleported to a different planet called Salvation.  Bad guy problem officially solved — and everyone goes.  From the Joker to Cheetah to Metallo to Deadshot to Captain Cold to Gorilla Grodd to Poison Ivy to Vandal Savage, etc. You get the idea; like eighty of them were captured and sent to Salvation.  And they all would have stayed there miserably forever if Lex Luthor wasn’t teleported with him.  Oh well.  Anyway in the midst of all that, Catwoman stumbles onto some machine generator thingie and it transports her here:

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That’s right — it’s an alternative Earth.  To say that Catwoman’s mental state the past few years has been wavering would be an understatement.  She lost pretty much her entire supporting cast, including her actual daughter and everything she ever owned or stole.  So unlike Batman who sits on a stack of infinite money and loving allies, Catwoman doesn’t really have anything left to lose.  So all that cat-and-mouse chase that I assume activates her lady boner’ll have to be put aside today.

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Oh, and she totally did kill Black Mask.  That’s another previous article of mine if you have a bunch of free time today.  Now for the next five pages or so, she avoids rocket launchers, gunfire, and helicopters until she can action-movie-esque crash though a window.  And Catwomen from every Earth and dimension are all so rude.  I imagine a skintight uniform can only press against your diaphragm for so long before one’d be snippy with whoever comes across one’s path.  Like a person at dinnertime who skipped breakfast and lunch.

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What’s going on?  This Catwoman can’t afford to repair her costume yet can afford to feed two grown panthers?  Plus — while totally cool — a clawed up costume’s impractical.  One good cartwheel and the costume tears open, exposing herself to whatever do-gooder she’s kicking in the face.  While I do have many questions about what’s going on in this alternative-Gotham, most of them have to do with Catwoman’s costume.  Like why is she wearing a dog collar?  But now let’s watch our Catwoman discover something else about herself in this world:

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Catwoman’s sister Maggie becomes a nun and eventually a crazy vengeful nun because of that Black Mask incident.  The poor girl didn’t stand a chance when she arrived in Gotham.  I figure anyone who comes to this city without at least a green belt in karate will be maimed or killed within weeks of arriving.  Statistically speaking, anyway.  Just like the Arkham Asylum doctor/guard fatality rate is in the high 90% range or the 100% chance Batman showing up at your abandoned dock right after you announced to your superstitious partner that he’s just an urban legend.  But I did promise you superpowers today.  I promise to deliver:

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I’m stopping here today.  Catwoman just realized in this world, she’s a more attractive Superman, which is a dream we all have.  What’s going on with this Gotham?  Is there a catch?  Is she going to fight Batman, Superman, Flash, and Green Lantern at the same time?  At least for the third question: hell yeah she is.

 

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