The vengeance of Catwoman, Pt. 2Posted: 12/30/2014 Filed under: Characters, DC 2 Comments
You’ve had a tough year. Everyone’s going on Facebook and Twitter bragging about how amazing 2014 was for them, but you’re still angry and bitter. It’s understandable – stuff happens beyond your control and if choices are available, you sometimes make terrible choices in dealing with it. Sometimes I’m still amazed at how poor my decision making skills are and I’m in my late 20s. But today, put all that aside. What you want is Catwoman showing this jerk Thief exactly what happens when he thinks he can uproot and destroy her life. Oh, how he’s wrong. Today, Catwoman makes no bad decisions, only satisfying ones.
As Thief (that’s his actual supervillain name) plans the final parts of his dastardly supervillain schemes, it’d just be unfortunate if someone was gathering evidence of him committing crimes while he was out of costume with his face in full view of a camera. Very unfortunate.
Remember what Calculator said last time? This new guy Thief’s state of the art. His plans, his robberies, his equipment, and everything about him is so far above Catwoman’s old timey methods so much so that Thief isn’t even on Batman’s radar, and that dude’s like the Big Brother of Gotham. So as you see everything fall brilliantly into place for Catwoman’s revenge, don’t forget that while Thief may be a better thief, he simply can’t compete with Catwoman in the qualities she really shines in: insanity, bloodlust, and holding deep unwavering grudges.
Good triumphs over evil (and rubs it in), and the reason we read these issues as the final article of the year. Currently in the post-DC reboot New 52 Catwoman’s eternal story – her as the eventual mafia queenpin of the Gotham city underworld – we can learn something important from these dozen-ish pages below that’ll apply to our modern day stories: no one screws with Catwoman. No one.
I’m showing you a massive portion of this issue – probably more than I’m allowed. But I want you to remember all of this when you look back (for some of you) just how awful 2014 might have been and what 2015 will be. You’ll be Catwoman and this new year will be that mess of a man who thought he was better than she was. Next time 2015 attempts to stomp on your self-esteem, your ability to handle crap, or the frustrations heaped upon you as you attempt to accomplish your goals – you’ll be Catwoman and all that bullshit will be this disgusting failed supervillain.
You think I’m done. I’m not. Her revenge isn’t yet. As the solid black panel above signals Thief’s unconsciousness, he’s free to leave the mansion once he awakes. Catwoman’s gone. No one’s around. Because Gotham city’s version of revenge? It doesn’t end with a lecture and a beating. No sir. I hope your 2015 is wonderful. You deserve it.
Remember kids – NEVER FUCK WITH CATWOMAN.
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