Scarecrow and the Sinestro Corps ring
Posted: 11/04/2012 Filed under: Characters, DC Leave a commentI like to think that many comic book fans underestimate just how powerful those Green Lantern rings can be. The potential alone makes a Green Lantern as crazy strong as his or her creativity, which is in a way, a far more dynamic tool than say, muscles and years of martial arts training. I did a previous article on just how bloody the Green Lantern adventures are if you want to read more.
A few years, before the DC universe rebooted, they had a huge crossover event called Blackest Night. All the dead superheroes/family members came back to life as angry, tough, invincible monsters, and with seventy years of comics, that’s a lot of dead people. Only the Green Lantern Corps, the Red Lantern Corps, the Blue Lantern Corps, the Sinestro Corps, the Star Sapphires, Agent Orange, and the Indigo Tribe (lots of colors nowadays) can hope to stop this madness. Unfortunately, with so many Black Lantern zombies flying around, the rainbow kids needed some extra manpower.
Ganthet the Guardian has a few recruiting ideas in Blackest Night #6-7, written by Geoff Johns and drawn by Ivan Reis.
As you can see, each of the rings are powered by a different emotion who then sought out the closest person that most closely symbolizes their little mottos. The Sinestro Corps (the yellow ring) operates on fear. Well, since Batman’s currently dead, who would be a close second that best scares/soils the pants of his victims? I mean, it’s not really a surprise. You read the title of the article.
No doubt Scarecrow’s crazy. But I love that he’s been exposed to so much fear gas over the years that it’s now the only emotion he can’t experience. Just like Riddler needs Batman for the intellectual stimulation and the Joker needs Batman for joy and personal fulfillment, Scarecrow needs him just as badly to complete the one missing element in his life: fear. That’s deep. So now that he has a tool capable of replacing the Dark Knight, how does it go?
Y’see, the power rings gathered up other capable individuals as well. Like Wonder Woman recruited by the Star Sapphires because of her great capacity to love or the Flash never-relenting hope allowing him to be deputized by the Blue Lantern Corps. Unfortunately, the orange ring is greed, which has the nasty side effect of its wearer wanting everything.
And with that, Lex Luthor ended Scarecrow’s Sinestro Corps career almost as soon as it started. But we know supervillains, and their most defining quality is forgiveness and an inability to hold grudges. Right?
After Blackest Night ended, the DC universe back to normal. Except that a few loose ends needed tying up, like in Superman/Batman #77, written by Josh Williamson and drawn by Alé Garza. More on that in a few pages.
Supergirl, hanging out in Gotham City for the night, witnesses a gruesome crime scene. And while she can punch bad guys into outer space, a keen investigative mind isn’t exactly one of her strengths. But she’s in Gotham, so a brilliant detective can be found one short flight across town.
If you don’t know Damian Wayne, no better introduction needed. The biological son of a one-night stand between Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul, the ten year-old may actually be one of the finest assassins and warriors in the DC universe. Also, he’s a massive jerk. Years and years of having a mother never shutting up about how great you are and what you’re destined to achieve can affect a young boy’s sense of self-worth. And despite his rudeness and arrogance, the kid is quite good at what he does, especially with that Wayne blood flowing through him.
Eventually, the two superheroes figure out the thread that all the murders have in common:
Yup, those poor college kids were the shining posterity of Lexcorp. That’s going to hurt the stock. Luckily, and most likely because there’s only 24 pages to tell the story, all the remaining interns are conveniently gathered at that moment for the annual Halloween party. Time to solve this mystery.
Li’l Matches makes me laugh. Y’know, because when Batman goes undercover as a mobster, it’s always as Matches Malone, so this a parody of that. Well, maybe it’s not that funny. Anyway, the murderer gets uncovered quickly, and you probably figured it out who since the article’s about him.
Yes, things took a turn for the worse. Let’s be fair: Damian is a master martial artist. He’s extremely agile. The kid can take down even the toughest baddies, despite being half everyone’s size. But to fight Supergirl hopped up on fear gas? That’s a fight even his father can’t win.
The problem with fear gassing superheroes is that they tend to have tremendous willpower, which allows them to overpower illusions and regain control from the fear gas fairly quickly. How sad for Scarecrow. Though not to say it wasn’t rough for a while.
Mission complete. Except for the whole motive of why Scarecrow’s dousing Lexcorp interns. The two aren’t exactly friends, but their paths and goals, rarely if ever, intersect. Let Crane tell you the poor, tragic reason:
It would be kind of sad if he didn’t murder a dozen kids. Oh well, such is a supervillain’s life. How else could this story possibly end?
Supergirl’s unfortunate promise
Posted: 11/01/2012 Filed under: Characters, DC Leave a commentI like Supergirl. She’s in a very small minority of superheroes that fights crime in a skirt. More importantly, the charms of the newly reintroduced Supergirl (real name Kara Zor El) and her solo series back in the early 2000s provided a superhero who had to learn the ropes of bad guy beating, unlike so many of the other established heroes who had been taking out supervillains in the DC universe for decades. It’s a fun change to see a superhero start from the beginning. And today, Kara learns something very important: sometimes punching just isn’t enough.
Let’s take this life journey together in Supergirl #26-32, written by Kelley Puckett and drawn by Drew Johnson, Lee Ferguson, Ron Randall, & Brad Walker. The adventure starts like any normal day for the Superman family with saving people from a collapsing building. Comic book skyscrapers are just so fragile.
Nothing wrong so far, right? Supergirl’s the gallant protector of the helpless, especially with scared young children. Well, except for one small, tiny detail about this boy:
Superman plays that Superman role (“Hey buddy, you know that superheroes have a lot of amazing powers, right? But…) and in a totally impulsive decision, Supergirl refuses to take the easy way out. She’s a superhero, gosh darn it.
Let’s be fair. Supergirl has a ton of cool abilities. She can survive in the vacuum of space. She has both heat rays and freeze breath. She retains the respect and admiration of her peers despite a costume with an exposed torso. But she can’t cure cancer — a little beyond Kryptonian capabilities. So time to find out who can. First up, Wonder Woman.
You know, the superhero community isn’t as supportive as you’d think. Tolerant, sure. But supportive? Not when it comes to impossibilities, even in a world filled with aliens, magic, and time travel. But Kara isn’t going to give up. If Superman’s friends can’t get her what she wants, time to move onto the fringe, gritty section of the DC universe.
Resurrection Man (real name Mitchell Shelley)! He’s immortal, and every time he dies, he gets a new superpower upon his return. Actually, that’s explained in the next few panels:
And honestly, that’s not a bad plan at all. Might take a while, but has a legitimate chance of success. Only one problem with that plan: that pesky having-to-die-to-receive-a-new-power part.
Frustrated and unable to kill the drunk hobo, Supergirl form a new plan. Instead of slaughtering poor Resurrection Man a few hundred times, the two of them would instead go grab the supervillain that created Resurrection Man in the first place. Now, this makes the origin of Shelley a little suspect. It’s established in canon that the dudes’s been around for tens of thousands of years, yet his powers were specifically created by a mad scientist in his lab. Look, let’s not worry about that and suspend our disbelief for the next few pages.
As you can expect from a supervillain. This plan blows up in Supergirl’s face. Literally.
They should have known he’d betray them the second they saw the eyepatch. Oh well. Now Dr. Luzano gets both a beating and a lecture on morality from an angry teenager.
Oh, and Resurrection Man’s new fancy power when he revives this time?
A healing ray! That’s quite lucky. After pummeling the bad doctor, all that’s left is for Kara to bring Resurrection Man to the dying boy and we all end this article on a heartwarming happy ending!
Or not. Even with super speed, sometimes superheroes just aren’t fast enough.
A testament to Supergirl that even with the boy’s death, she doesn’t give up. There’re still two issues left of this arc. I’m not going to cover them. She tries blood injections, time travel, and even hunting down another supervillain in an alien war zone. But, unfortunately, some problems just remain unsolvable.
Sadly, at the end of her long, heartbreaking journey, she learns the one lesson that Superman has known for decades.
Don’t mess with Dr. Strange
Posted: 10/30/2012 Filed under: Characters, Marvel Leave a commentDr. Strange isn’t as popular as he should be. The Sorcerer Supreme, Stephen Strange, MD, commands all the magic of the cosmos. I’m not entirely sure what that means either, but he cast spells, collects magical relics, and battles with demons. And despite the prematurely grey streaks in his hair, his ornately manner of speaking, and an outfit that resembles a disco magician – the dude’s actually a really cool superhero.
He premiered in Strange Tales #110, written by Stan Lee and drawn by Steve Ditko in 1963 within that same two-year span that also spawned Spider-Man, Hulk, the Fantastic Four and others. He looked a little different in his first appearance:
Before he became master of the occult, he was the best surgeon in the world. Unfortunately, he was also arrogant and selfish. One day, he crashed his car into a tree while speeding and his hands became shattered and unable to ever hold a scalpel again. How sad. Searching for cures, he found an old man called the Ancient One in the Himalayas who taught him magic instead. Now he’s selfless and even joined the Avengers for a while. Happy ending.
Today, we’re looking at a few select scenes from the miniseries Doctor Strange: The Oath #1-5, written by Brian K. Vaughan and drawn by Marcos Martin. We start at the offices of Night Nurse, a doctor with a cape that discreetly treats superheroes to protect their secret identities and whatnot.
Someone has to treat mace wounds, and the family doctor just isn’t as familiar with heavy weaponry. Frantically, Dr. Strange bursts in with a gunshot wound. I’m as shocked as you are. Today, we’re not going to focus so much on the plot as we are a few of the super cool moments from the miniseries. I’m not exaggerating when I say that this is totally my favorite comic I’ve read in months.
When incapacitated, Strange can astral project himself so he can still communicate. Or flirt. Takes a brave man to make a move on a doctor while currently being operated on.
Also, no one wounds our mustachioed superhero and gets away with it. But first, a little back story that prompted the shooting. Introducing Dr. Strange’s assistant Wong:
This arc is about Wong just as much as Dr. Strange. Y’see, Wong found out he has cancer and Dr. Strange just discovered a dimension hiding what he’s looking for:
Yes, this is the moment that everything goes downhill. First, he gets shot:
What weapon can possibly penetrate Dr. Strange’s barriers? Did you guess the actual gun used by Hitler to commit suicide and then doused in some evil voodoo stuff? I’m sure you were close. Sadly for Brigand, he can’t backflip his way from fate. Magical fate. Especially when Dr. Strange finds his buddy murdered:
Now it’s Detective Strange. Though Sherlock Holmes usually doesn’t figure out his mysteries the same way Strange does:
After an exciting trip through the mind of a serial killer, time to dispose of the trash:
I love the coloring showing a twinge of moral darkness in that last panel.
I’ve stated before the biggest problem with comic book magic: because it’s not restrained by things like reality or physics, comic book magic can be anything, do anything, and solve anything depending on the whims of the writer. So how does someone keep stories involving sorcerers interesting? Well, what’s the one thing magic can’t beat? Duh, more powerful magic.
Luckily for our protagonist, super strong magic isn’t going to stop him, leading to one of the most badass scenes in the miniseries:
Awesome, right? What trick does he use to stop this rampaging demonic slug? Does it involve Hitler? I’m not going to show you, but it doesn’t mean I don’t respect our friendship. Look, I so adore this book and I really want you to buy it. Because I care about you.
Anyway, a few scenes from the climax showcasing more of a badass Dr. Strange:
And the twist for their final confrontation?
I love it. The ending is just as amazing, of course. I don’t want to spoil it for you, but it wouldn’t hurt to tell you something you’ve no doubt figured out already. When the Sorcerer Supreme exhibits that much core-rocking confidence, this is inevitable:
Wolverine & Hercules: drinking buddies, monster slayers
Posted: 10/28/2012 Filed under: Fights, Marvel Leave a commentThe two have more in common than you think. They’re both way older than the other superheroes, they’ve both committed numerous atrocities while mind-controlled, they both have fantastic manes of body hair, and they both love to get drunk. Yes, they’re quite good friends.
Of course, a night spent relaxing can never be completed. That’s part of the superhero curse. We jump into select scenes from the miniseries Wolverine/Hercules: Myths, Monsters, & Mutants #1-4, written by Frank Tieri and drawn by Juan Roman & Cano Santacruz.
In a spectacular case of good timing, one of Wolverine’s enemies has teamed up with one of Hercules’ enemies right as the two buddies are hanging out together:
We have a ninja commander that Wolverine chops body parts off occasionally, and this:
An undead head with poor vision carried by a talking minotaur. The Marvel universe is a crazy place. Unfortunately, our protagonists’ buzz gets cut short as they get attacked by a platoon of ninjas. If I had a nickel for every time that happened.
Together, the two of them traverse the world (actually, I think more like a city block) and go on all sorts of adventures in search of their pursuers. After all, hard to enjoy mead when ninja carcasses are being tossed around the bar.
Over the course of the miniseries, they tackle minotaurs and lions:
They barge into zombie saloons:
Among other locations. You see where Hercules decapitates a zombie with the arm of another zombie? Awesome. Lots of wonderful places hiding in New York City. In between fighting hordes of magical creatures, they even have time to discuss American cinema:
A good time had by all! Eventually, the story splits into two battles, as each character brawls with their respective supervillain. First up, that adorable Canadian hedgehog.
Wolverine
So being a good one fifty to two hundred years-old, our little buddy has had a lot of lovers. Arguably, one of the most meaningful of his past loves was a young Japanese woman named Mariko Yashida, whose untimely demise was orchestrated by this guy:
You have to admire the samurais and ninjas who confidently clash with Wolverine. Not only does Logan possess the same same fighting skills they do, but he also has superhuman speed, strength, and is pretty much unkillable with his healing factor. Still, if they stopped trying, it’d leave a large hole in potential Wolverine stories.
The end. Revenge complete.
Hercules
The Prince of Power has a slightly tougher challenge ahead than a cybernetic swordsman.
As usual, Hercules battles his opponent with the same amount of meticulous planning and brilliant strategizing he normally does.
To be fair, Hercules is strong. Fifty times stronger than Wolverine, ten times stronger than Spider-Man, and he could easily give the Thing a run for the arm-wrestling championship. But Hercules really only has his strength. No Olympian fireballs or Greek shapeshifting or whatever. So his problem-solving options are limited.
Luckily, Wolverine shows up with a better plan. A cinematic plan.
Y’know, like the Clash of the Titans movie. Recurring theme. With the major threats expunged and the city saved, only one tiny head/minotaur problem to go. How bad can it be?
Oh well. You can read the book for the rest. By the way and on a related note, if you haven’t yet, go buy The Incredible Hercules series. It’s everything that makes comics beloved and fantastic. Treat yourself this holiday season. You deserve it.
Captain Marvel & Superman have a moment
Posted: 10/25/2012 Filed under: Characters, DC Leave a commentCaptain Marvel (aka Billy Baxton), the little boy granted both magical powers and a military title by a crazy cave wizard, owns the title of the best selling comic book superhero of the 1940s. I’m serious. More sales than Superman, Batman, and any other crime fighter of that time. Too bad the kid’s not as popular anymore. Maybe it’s because Billy’s a 10 year-old who turns into an invincible adult with a special word. Though you can imagine the tragic and inspirational origin story, right?
Yessir, I found his first appearance ever in Whiz Comics #2, edited by Bill Parker way back in 1940. And yes, his mentor is crushed by a giant rock eight panels after he’s introduced. Still, Captain Marvel (renamed Shazam in the rebooted DC universe) has been childishly beating up bad guys for over seventy years. Seventy glorious years.
One of the best Captain Marvel stories premiered in the 2005 miniseries Superman/Shazam: First Thunder #1-4, written by Judd Winick and drawn by Joshua Middleton. The two of them meet for the first time, go on some wacky adventures, and then the bad guy does this:
Y’see, Captain Marvel can take the same beating Superman can in his magic adult mode, but taking out Captain Marvel in his child form is as easy as murdering a poor orphan child. Luckily, this baddie has no problem with that kind of behavior. That’s probably why he got to be the main villain of the miniseries.
Because we know a revised origin story isn’t going to have the young boy gunned down three and a half issues in, he survives just in the nick of time.
Cue a fight scene where a SWAT team struggles in vain against an angry child with superpowers. Come on, you don’t think the writer would actually murder a child, right?
Well, not both children. Okay, depressing. Though if Lex Luthor murdered Jimmy Olsen or somebody close to Superman, the scene outside his penthouse would probably begin very much like the next scene:
Being a superhero, especially with the innocence of youth, he makes a the noblest of choices:
Clark Kent hears about this little rampage with both his superhearing and place on journalism’s front lines. Going to confront a man he barely knows (much less the secret identity), he’s surprised by the perfect characterization of a young boy overcome by guilt and frustration.
Using his reporter’s instinct, Superman gets a clue that something is up when a grown man proclaims his best friend to be a pre-pubescent boy. Except for Batman and the first Robin. And the second Robin. The third Robin too. Definitely the fifth Robin. Look, he has a selective reporter’s instinct.
Way better disguise than a suit and glasses. Also, keep in mind that Captain Marvel can’t just abandon and run away from this power. That insane wizard who grants incredible powers to children meant every word he said. So Superman makes a decision. Instead of a stern lecture and vague threats directed at the friendless, homeless orphan boy, Superman figures a better course of action should be taken. The happy ending course of action.
Aw, now he has a real superfriend. Warm fuzzies all around.
Random panels: godly edition!
Posted: 10/23/2012 Filed under: Characters, Marvel Leave a commentI hate to bring up my personal life on this blog, but I’m crazy sick, so I’m going to have to dump all my random panels a little earlier than I expected into a short article so I can go back to dumping all my snot into my mountain of tissues (ladies, I’m single).
As I read comics, I’ll come across a few panels that leave me delighted. Unfortunately, they’re either in issues I’m writing about but unrelated to my focus or in single issues I read picking up new comics on Wednesday. I don’t want them to go to waste, so I’m unloading my random panels for today’s article. I hope you enjoy.
Nothing like a bit of misogyny to start us off
Incredible Hulk: Hercules Unleashed, written by Peter David and drawn by Mike Deodato Jr.
The feminism movement takes a bit longer to catch on when you’re thousands of years old. Old god, new tricks, etc. By the way, Zeus, I think you learned the wrong lesson from your infidelity.
Loki shenanigans
Journey Into Mystery #641, written by Kieron Gillen and drawn by Richard Elson
After Loki got ripped apart by Sentry, he figured a loophole in the whole immortal resurrection thing and came back as a child. It’s complicated. But what followed may be one of the most delightful runs in comics. Child Loki mixed lighthearted humor with insanely complicated adventures added to just the right amount of emotional turmoil. Do yourself a favor and read it.
Volstagg vs. the robots
Thor: Giant Sized Finale #1, written by Michael Straczynski and drawn by Marko Djurdjevic
Thor’s supporting cast doesn’t get as much credit as they deserve. And Volstagg, the jolly, chubby one of the Warriors Three, has certainly earned his place in comics. Thank god robots don’t possess shame, because there’s no getting over being clobbered by an obese, naked god. If you’re thinking the next page of this comic has the classiest huge schlong joke ever, you totally know it.
Thor realizes he just made a huge mistake
Siege #3, written by Brian Michael Bendis and drawn by Olivier Coipel
The Sentry, one of the few comic book characters with a legitimate mental illness, also happens to be quite possibly the most powerful. Thor never backs down from a fight, but retreating never really figures in when you’re a monster truck on a highway full of Mini Coopers. I don’t want to brag, but that analogy’ll rock your world with a 101 degree fever. Anyway, Thor loses. Badly.
And just because I don’t know where else to put it, here’s a panel from Ultimates #13, volume 1, written by Mark Millar and drawn by Bryan Hitch:
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to pass out.
Krypto tales
Posted: 10/21/2012 Filed under: Characters, DC 1 CommentYou get it? Tales? As in tails? Yup, that’s the kind of humor you can look forward to on this blog. Anyway, continuing our Superman family theme, let’s talk a bit about the dog.
Krypto’s been around since 1955, and writers haven’t really known what to do with him. He’s a dog with all of Superman’s powers. They gave even gave him his own cape. As the decades past, sometimes Krypto’s intelligence, usage, and strength have changed dramatically. Still, he’s a beloved supporting character in the DC universe, as you can imagine a super pet would be.
He premiered in Adventure Comics #210, edited by Whitney Ellsworth & George Kashdan. But with Superman’s origin firmly established as the last survivor of Krypton, how did his childhood dog get to Earth in the first place?
I love the idea of Superman’s dad saying to his wife, “Honey, no time to explain. I need to shoot the family dog into space.” Followed by the loving wife’s response of, “Well, if you say so, dear.” The 1950s were a silly time.
For most of his time, Krypto guards the Fortress of Solitude, in case the advanced Kryptonian technology and hundreds of guard robots fail to stop intruders. Like in Superman/Batman #9, written by Jeph Loeb and drawn by Michael Turner, during the arc Supergirl gets reintroduced to the DC universe.
Superman keeping the dog trapped in the fortress? Surely the dog needs fresh air, long walks, and human interaction. It’s a dog, for goodness’ sake. Well, I actually have that answer. Y’see, it’s one thing to be an animal and another to be an animal with the same powers as Superman. In Superman #170, volume 2, written by Jeph Loeb and drawn by Dale Keown, naïve Clark Kent has to find out the hard way.
Don’t you hate when you take walks in the park with your wife and super powerful alien warlords stop by? I don’t really have the desire to go into Mongul’s back story, but just think of him as a yellow Darkseid.
Luckily for the residents of Metropolis, Krypto and Superman were on first response.
By the way, that joke may be the funniest thing Superman’s ever said. He’s not known for his sense of humor. In Mongul’s defense, the dog punch meant to show Mongul’s evilness, but he’s certainly entitled to defend himself when attacked by an angry beast. I would never hit an animal if it’s playing catch next to a playground, but my views differ tremendously if the same dog is shooting laser beams at my face.
Okay, so now the odds are stacked against our hero. While Superman deals with the lady behemoth, the dog can settle the grudge with Mongul. Teamwork and whatnot.
If you don’t enjoy a panel where a dog headbutts a supervillain, I don’t want to be your friend.
Unfortunately for both Mongul and Superman, Krypto is just a dog. Instincts and stuff.
Poor Krypto. He defended his master the only way he knew how and for that, he has to be punished.
Well, sad for Krypto. A few years later, obviously feeling a crapload of guilt after abandoning his dog at his frozen secret base, Superman makes a decision in Teen Titans #7, written by Geoff Johns and drawn by Tom Grummett.
Superboy, planning a fresh start in Smallville, receives a visit from his mentor.
Aw, a happy ending for everyone!
On a final note, when the DC universe rebooted last year, Krypto’s origin changed, forcing the dog to be trapped in the Phantom Zone protecting Superman’s family.
But finally in Action Comics #13, written by Grant Morrison and drawn by Travel Foreman, Superman’s dog gets reintroduced perfectly into the brand new universe:
Superman and the Darkseid beatdown
Posted: 10/18/2012 Filed under: DC, Fights 1 CommentContinuing our Superman family theme, I would be a poor commentator if I didn’t bring up the main man himself. Now, I don’t really agree with critics that say the guy’s overpowered. Yes, he’s actually been shown before literally pushing the moon. But with his powers firmly established, the comic book writers adapted accordingly. They introduced weaknesses like kryptonite and magic. They introduced tougher bad guys, including a few that are equal to (if not surprassing) Superman in strength. Like Darkseid.
Darkseid, the evil alien dictator of Apokolips, is the second strongest of Superman’s baddies after Doomsday (I believe). The dude’s been around since 1970 causing trouble with a full-size demon army and an irrational grudge. Oh, and that one time he kidnapped Supergirl in Superman/Batman #11-13, written by Jeph Loeb and drawn by Michael Turner.
Poor Supergirl just got reintroduced a few issues before, yet the young lady didn’t realize her cousin has a rogue gallery hundreds long and with plenty of demented foes willing to steal Superman’s teenage relative. Do these dudes know Superman can push moons? Though today isn’t about Supergirl’s rescue, it is a fantastic way to piss off the Man of Steel.
Eventually Batman saves the day with an immediately played trump card. Y’know, because Darkseid could kill him with a light slap if he wanted.
Satisfying ending for the good guys. Now time to show Supergirl the family farm in Smallville. Introduce her to his parents. Have a home-cooked meal and swap stories of his youth.
Or not.
Let’s be fair. Superman may possibly be the kindest, gentlest superhero in the DC universe. Thank god, too, as he possesses the power to crack the planet in half with a single temper tantrum. Well, until a baddies does something like vaporize his closest living family member before his eyes. The denial stage of grief doesn’t really play a part here. Unfortunately for Darkseid, he goes right to stage two: anger.
Darkseid can certainly hold his own against Superman; that’s part of his success as a supervillain. But that also means Superman doesn’t really have to hold back, hitting Darkseid with the full force of a planet-cracking punch — double-edged sword and whatnot.
I want to call this a fight, but Superman spends the rest of the time destroying Darkseid. You can read the book (or watch the animated movie) for the whole thing. In true Superman fashion, Darkseid endures not only a savage beating, but also a cliched moral lecture. And trust me, those lectures are what make Superman, in my unreliable opinion, the perfect definition of a superhero.
You know the best part of brutally taking down egotistical dictators? The whimpering disbelief.
Superman won’t kill. He won’t even torture. But he will imprison you in a magical place filled with monster statues for the rest of eternity. Big difference, I promise.
As you learned from the last article, Supergirl’s totally still alive and kicking butt. They faked her death. Add an Oscar to Superman’s Pulitzer Prize collection. Most importantly, this arc has my absolute favorite thing in comics: a happy ending.
I mean, a happy ending and Martian Manhunter doing carpentry.
Supergirl fights Luthor, JLA, Supergirl
Posted: 10/16/2012 Filed under: DC, Fights 4 CommentsOn Monday, we dealt with Supergirl’s alternative, bustier twin. Let’s check in with the real deal.
The history of Supergirl (real name Kara Zor-El) may actually be one of the most complicated histories in the history of DC. She’s gone through so many weird iterations and origin changes that I can’t begin to explain (or understand) it. But in 2004, they reset her origin in Superman/Batman #8, once again making her Superman’s cousin that was trapped in her spaceship’s suspended animation for decades. Hence why she immediately has her Kryptonian powers (that Superman developed throughout puberty) and she’s the same age as when she got evacuated from Krypton (still sixteen years-old despite Superman having aged thirty-five years or so).
And if you get a chance, definitely read her introduction arc in Superman/Batman. It’s so good they made an animated movie about it. Lots of cool fights. Batman threatening Darkseid. An evil Supergirl. Unfortunately for Kara, that whole evil persona thing didn’t really get solved until Supergirl #3-5, written by Jeph Loeb and drawn by Ian Churchill.
Baby steps, though. First, she decides to have a chat with Lex Luthor. If you’re not caught up on comics, this is not your grandpa’s Luthor. No longer the zany mad scientist with a bitter grudge, Luthor has evolved brilliantly in the past few decades into an extremely capable, powerful psychopath with a bitter grudge.
Megalomania aside, don’t mess with Luthor. He’s Superman’s arch-nemesis for a reason. That and one more trick up his sleeve.
Did you know black kryptonite creates a second Supergirl that’s all foul and no sunshine?
With a single punch, the fight changes setting to the Justice League Watchtower on the moon. She hits hard. You don’t get to see the JLA fight, sadly (buy the book for that), but just know that evil Supergirl takes down Green Lantern, Flash, Hawkman, Black Canary, and Martian Manhunter by herself. It’s impressive. Finally, the real Supergirl recovers and joins the fight.
Evil Supergirl still going strong and the JLA about to take a second beating, Kara brings to fight to the one person that she knows can defeat her evil twin.
Round 2, begin.
You can click the picture for a bigger version if the text’s hard to read. With evil Kara now outnumbered four-to-one, each of her opponents absolutely capable of defeating her, she switches her strategy. To sneakiness.
Which one’s the real Supergirl? I dunno, the one smugly smirking? Superman, not exactly the world’s greatest detective, figures he’ll solve the problem the only way he knows how.
And now witness one of the coolest Superman moments in comics. You may bash Superman for his blatant morality, clumsy secret identity, and underwear outside the pants, but you can never bash him for his strength. The most powerful being on the planet.
Nothing better than Superman putting someone in his or her place. Realizing the gravity of the situation, the Supergirls agree to be magically bound by Wonder Woman and take their 50/50 chance of replacing the other one.
The winner? Duh, you already know the answer, but it’s much more fun to have it decided in a dramatic, totally necessary explosion. Feel good stuff. Plus, just like all good teenager stories, she even recites the life lesson she learned on today’s episode. Listen for the music to swell.
Now officially a genuine superhero. Saving the day as soon as she finishes biology class.
Power Girl and the alien Fabio
Posted: 10/14/2012 Filed under: DC, Relationships 1 Comment(Author note: Due to recent time constraints, I have to lower the amount of posts per week in order to maintain both the quality of the comic selections and quality of my commentary. I hope you understand and remember, I’ll always love you.)
You know about Power Girl? I mean, I don’t want to be rude, but she and her Justice Society comrades are certainly less popular than their Justice League buddies. Basically, she’s an alternative world Supergirl that became stuck on Earth after her dimension disappeared.
Here’s her first appearance back in 1976’s All-Star Comics #58, written by Gerry Conway and drawn by Ric Estrada and Wally Wood.
Her most popular feature are her, well, bustier assets. Seriously, her costume actually contains a hole just for her cleavage. But outfit aside, in 2009, she received her own solo series and it was delightful. I loved every issue of it. The series maintained exciting action, interesting characters, and most importantly, a wonderful sense of humor.
Now, it’s not rude to ask if you’ve heard of Vartox, because he’s quite a minor character. He had his first appearance in 1974’s Superman #281, written by Cary Bates and drawn by Curt Swan & Bob Oksner. His costume alone tells more about this character than words ever could:
Amazing, right? The horrible upward angle that emphasizes his package. The underwear and vest combo added with his hairy chest. That 1970s porn ‘stache. This character must have required an amazing amount of “help” to come up with.
Well, he returns in Power Girl #7-8, written by Justin Gray & Jimmy Palmiotti and drawn by Amanda Conner, remaking his character exactly how he should have been in the first place. First, a little alien back story.
No way this can’t go badly. Look, if you’re seducing a Superman relative, gotta go big or go home.
Seduction not going as planned. But when a foreign man wearing nothing but a space vest and a speedo, the ritual will certainly move to Plan B. Not a pun.
You know what always brings superhero couples together? Fight banter, of course.
So you know how in comics the initial disdain of a team-up eventually turns to understanding and blossoming love? Not really having that effect here. Though we all know any man with a Hulk Hogan mustache has a Plan C ready to go.
Okay, let him explain.
You see what a dash of sensitivity and charm can do? Now he can drop the stud charade and get to know Power Girl as a caring, loving individual.
Or not. Despite never really being anything but disgusted by the man, Power Girl does warm up to him. Slightly. After they get pizza for dinner, the true reason for the quick mating process reveals itself. And c’mon, Vartox really just seeks the continued prosperity of his own sexy planet. That’s what being a sexy ruler is all about.
Luckily for both of them, Vartox’s alien species doesn’t require that normal physical intimacy. Mainly because Power Girl can’t bring herself to desire either of those.
How sweet! Because she never has to actually touch the dude, saving an entire planet with her uterus energy has some legitimate appeal. Suckered into good deeds is part of the superhero code.
Do you see the beauty of this arc? Vartox, the misogynist, reckless alien king, becomes humanized and almost sympathetic by the end. I adore it.
Thankfully, not the last time we see the promiscuous alien either. About four issues later, Vartox appears briefly once more in Power Girl #12, written and drawn by the same creative team.
The good will gained between Vartox and our protagonist? When you bring a giant monster to Power Girl’s city a second time, any niceties tend to fade away.
Though if Vartox could gain her trust the first time, surely he could turn on that charm again?
Oh well. Probably for the best.



































































































































































































