Thor vs. Iron Man

Since the 2006 Marvel comics event Civil War up till just a year or two ago, Tony Stark hasn’t been terribly well-liked in the Marvel universe.  This isn’t some sort of Spider-Man public menace charade. No, he deserved it.  Essentially, he became The Man, holding down superheroes who didn’t trust or forcibly side with the government, which is pretty much all of them.  Also, his team went up against Captain America’s, and any team the captain sides with will always be the good guys.

Oh, but you know who missed the entire Civil War event?  Yes, the Hulk, but that’s a different story. I’m talking about Thor.  Sure, Iron Man cloned Thor using his DNA and had the clone fight Captain America’s underground Avengers, but the actual Asgardian was occupied with other matters.  Like being dead.

Luckily, gods don’t stay deceased for very long and Thor, wanting to bring his homeland and all his friends killed in Ragnarok back to life (he had a busy year), warped the entire city of Asgard to rural Oklahoma.  Well, if you know anything about zoning laws, the government isn’t terribly thrilled. And to be fair, Thor didn’t fill out a single piece of paperwork.  So in Thor #3, written by the phenomenal J. Michael Straczynski and drawn by Olivier Coipel, Stark pays his buddy a visit.  It’s a bad idea.

You know who’s not big on small talk?  Nordic thunder gods.

The second half of the 2000s tended to go with themes of distrust, betrayal, and ruined friendships. The Civil War split the superhero community into two, Secret Invasion followed with the premise that any superhero at any time could be an evil shapeshifting Skrull.  Dark Reign after that had Norman Osborn (the Green Goblin) as the sadistic leader of national security with the American government mostly under his control.  Siege and the Heroic Age debuting in 2010 finally stopped pitting superheroes against other superheroes, which was a welcome change of pace.  But this story we’re reading now takes place right smack in the middle of this moral ambiguity mess.  Lucky us.

Spoiler alert: he says no.

In the superhero community, words never solve problems.  Solutions always come down to fists, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. But despite what the movies say, in the comic books Thor severely outpowers Iron Man.  The thunder god has Hulk-level strength, probably the strongest electrical superpowers in the Marvel universe, and can take blows for hours.  But Stark is much smarter, far sneakier, and possesses technology that can do miracles.  As long as Iron Man doesn’t get into a fistfight or charge Thor, he could possibly come out on top.

Okay, maybe I’m wrong.  One could make an argument that Thor is the Superman of Marvel – not in terms of moral code or a symbolic nature, but in terms of sheer toughness.  And unfortunately, Thor has no weakness to kryptonite or frost giants or whatever.  So you know when I said Stark shouldn’t charge the god of thunder?

Iron Man can lift up to 100 tons, possibly more if he wanted, but Thor could push the moon.  In the Iron Man comics, Stark usually wins because of a technological epiphany or careful planning ahead. Maybe a secret weapon or virus or power dampener or something.  So how does one take out Stark, the man who has a doohickey for every scenario and possible attack?  Easy.  A combination of impossible levels of strength and a swift, precise brutality.  Write that down in your notebook for the bullies at school.

Battle over.  What’s my prize, you ask?  Have you ever wanted to see a scary, threatening Thor?

As politically connected as Iron Man has become, he still has a buttload of politicians, generals, magicians, etc. to answer to, and if you’ve ever seen old men in positions of powers, they don’t react well to failure.  And Stark failed.  Badly.  But he’s still one of the smartest men in the world, and that doesn’t just include engineering.  Besides Nick Fury, Iron Man may know more political loopholes and maneuvering than any other superhero in the country.  You don’t get to run a trillion dollar corporation without knowing how to get around laws and restrictions.

Yay, problem solved!  Only loss is Stark’s billion dollar suit and a relationship that can no longer be mended over a goblet of mead.

You see?  Sure, the fight has a clear winner and loser, but our hearts are torn asunder regardless. Luckily, superheroes are now back to fighting supervillains, because at least at the end of those fights, one of them smiles.


12 Comments on “Thor vs. Iron Man”

  1. biggestfan says:

    i would like to thank you, because you got me started on comics and comics are fun to read(it is hard to keep track of them) these blogs that you do are great and your funny and you should do a avengers vs. marvel universe

  2. rawr says:

    any day ironman gets beat up is a good day

  3. The K.o.T. says:

    Damn, these blogs are SO well done. I imagine they must get a lot of readers into comics they were never into, or comics period! Like I’ve said before- I use it to play catch up, see what I missed… even when it’s a comic I have- your insight/highlights are still great to read.

    I have a comic blog too (who doesn’t, right?) and it was always meant to be positive, like yours- but since I’ve found yours- it has made me really want to make mine better, and put more effort into it. So, thank you again, man!

    • Jason Levine says:

      You’re so wonderful for my self-esteem, y’know. By the way, I’m quite fond of your blog as well. I love silly stuff in comics, and you present it in this happy (manic?) manner that I absolutely adore. Also, your title image is really awesome.

      • The K.o.T. says:

        Awww- shucks…
        Everyone can use a good self-esteem boost now and again, friend. Thanks for taking the time to check out my rinky-dink blog! I appreciate the feedback.
        -When I put that title-header-image together I wanted to boil down comics to my core, over-all favorite characters/series throughout my reading history- I was very surprised by who made the cut and who did not in the end…… So, again- seriously- thanks!

  4. Dex says:

    Apparently, the blogger here has not been reading Marvel comics for very long. Thor is indeed more powerful than Iron Man, but it is nowhere near as one-sided as the above comic would indicate. That was not the normal Thor. That was Thor with the Odinforce. I.E. a powered-up version of Thor, wielding the power of Odin along with his own power. Regular, classic Thor as known for decades, and as depicted in the movies. does not have Odin’s power. That was a fairly recent development in the comics that will not be permanent, Thor has fought Iron Man prior to this battle and Iron Man was quote capable of holding his own. The scene in “The Avengers” where Thor unwittingly powers up Iron Man by blasting him with lightining was taken straight from an old Avengers comic book. Iron Man at full power is on the same level of stength as Thor or the Hulk. He once knocked out the Hulk with one punch. But either way, the comic used here as an example distorts the difference in their levels of power by a lot. Thor is not normally anywhere near this powerful, like Odin is. He is still more poweful than Iron Man, but not so lopsided as it is in this battle.

  5. The Big V says:

    Iron Man did indeed render The Hulk unconscious (Iron Man #133 volume 1) BUT only after stunning the Hulk with several hundred volts of electricity (The Hulk ‘s resistance to electricity, varies according to the voltage). Careful examination throughout history has shown that Iron Man has NEVER exhibited the power level of Thor or The Hulk. Thor without the Odin-Force as the heralds of Galactus, wields sufficient power to destroy a planet (Read Stan Lee’s ad Walter Simonsons Thor Volume 1); Iron Man has never demonstrated the ability to withstand that kind of power let alone a rampaging Hulk whop can destroy continents, unless prepared to do so. Here is a question: even when possessed with the Odin-Force did Thor always need to deploy it? In the above scenes there is not one instance where Thor did not display the same power level in the past against Mangog, The Destroyer, Ulik, etc, before having the Odin-Force. ,

  6. John says:

    Was their… discussion… ever continued?

  7. I. Dravnieks says:

    Thank you for posting this its probably the best example in comics of a comeuppance delivered to arrogance and hubris.


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