Deadpool joins the X-Men

Simple enough, right?  While Deadpool’s not technically a mutant, he did go through that whole Weapon X program that gave Wolverine that awesome admantium skeleton.  They also tortured Wolverine, erased all his memories, and made him into a mindless killer for decades, but unbreakable bones are kinda cool.

Though in our story for today, which takes place in Deadpool #16-18, written by Daniel Way and drawn by Paco Medina, he takes the direct, in public approach.  It goes as you expect.

But the X-Men are comic’s equivalent for any oppressed minority group in our real world.  And appropriately, Deadpool’s unlikable reputation and desire for reformation aren’t totally lost on the San Francisco-based group.

The lady with cross-boobs lady is right, and the X-Men should hang their head in shame.  Luckily, before the angst and tears can be brought out, a situation develops.  One that’s strangely non-violent. Probably because Deadpool’s not involved yet.  If you think the X-Men are only good at shooting fireballs or blasting eye lasers, you’ve never seen their legal skills.

Now, I didn’t want to show you all of that.  I’ve cut out about two-thirds of this arc, but that little situation sets up a bunch of stuff you’re going to need to know.

Norman Osborn, aka the Green Goblin, currently happens to be the director of HAMMER, the anti-terrorism group that replaced SHIELD.  He reports directly to the president of the United States, and commands tens of thousands of soldiers and superheroes.  Also, he’s an amoral, power-hungry jerk who’s not above manipulating situations to make his enemies look bad.  Like this mutant parent. More importantly, you know the X-Men have already solved the problem with just a few pieces of paperwork.

We should check in with Deadpool.

And our central conflict begins:

Oh, fantastic plot twist!  Deadpool, as a favor to the X-Men, decides to plop a few bullets in Kincaid. Unfortunately, that would only make the situation way worse, and also unfortunately, Deadpool’s too mentally deranged to be convinced otherwise.

Crazy stuff happens, hilarious jokes are made, and assassination attempts are committed.  But I’m already pushing close to 30 images today, so you’ll have to read that part yourself.  We’ll skip ahead an issue or so to Domino (the woman above) and her genius plot to stop Deadpool’s misplaced help.

You might not know this, but back in Deadpool’s Weapon X days, Domino served with him on their assassination squad.  So despite the backstabbing and open hostility, they’re actually sort of friends. When she hears Cyclops and Wolverine scheming behind the scenes, she sets Deadpool free. Mutants might have weird superpowers, but they all still have hearts.

I could skip those few pages you just read and the story would still make sense.  But if I did, you’d have to miss out on the next few images also, which provide an absolutely fantastic display of why Deadpool’s so crazy popular nowadays.  Look, if you ignore his schizophrenia, his emotional and mental instability, and his wildly unpredictable nature, Deadpool remains one of the finest tacticians in the Marvel universe.

I haven’t forgotten about Osborn.  If Deadpool succeeds in assassinating his target, the X-Men look majorly bad.  Like a horribly complete loss of any public support or sympathy.  And Osborn would like that very much.  So much that he’ll secretly kill the guy himself if Deadpool flakes out.

Y’see, Deadpool’s not such a bad guy after all, killing Osborn’s sniper and all!  Story’s over.  Except for that whole loose end, where the X-Men and the world just believed Deadpool shot at the guy. We’re almost done, but I couldn’t leave my dear readers without showing you some of the highlights of the battle you’ve been waiting for all article.

I chose this arc, not just because it’s super funny, but it’s also the closest Deadpool ever really gets to a happy ending.  You’ll see.

Because all Deadpool wants, the entire reason he’s trying to reform in the first place, is to gain the respect and admiration of his peers.  And while he’s not going to be an X-Men, one out of two goals ain’t bad.  Especially the warm, fuzzy goal.