Storm vs. everybodyPosted: 04/23/2013
I think many comic book readers underestimate Storm. Before really reading X-Men comics, I knew she can wield tornadoes or raise greenhouse gas levels or something, but her true capability was totally lost on me. Well, until I read the miniseries X-Men: Worlds Apart #1-4, written by the genius Christopher Yost and drawn by the equally genius Diogenes Neves.
In the mid-2000s, turns out Storm and Black Panther (the king of the African nation Wakanda) loved each other back in their prepubescent days. And as adults, they get married. Romantic, definitely, but more importantly, Storm (real name Ororo Munroe) now presides over Wakanda as its queen. Predictably, ruling a small country takes up most of her time, straining her duties as an X-Man. The miniseries deals with that problem, but we’re just going to focus on all the fighting. If you want to see Storm destroy everyone, this is the article for you.
Basically, a mutant residing in Wakanda murdered an important shaman. Turns out he got possessed by the psychic mind-controlling supervillain Shadow King, but now Storm has to deal with the troublesome choice of protecting a fellow X-Man against the laws of her kingdom.
Round 1: Storm vs. soldiers
And that’s how a queen speaks. That kind of talk is also why we love Namor so much. Y’see, controlling the weather also includes all those cool little things like oxygen flow or something. I’m not a meteorologist, but I know what happens when her mind-controlled husband joins the fray:
Please click the above picture to see the full, large version. Enjoy your new wallpaper — this is how you do a double spread page. As you can imagine, things get much worse and Storm has to bail with the fugitive Nezhno. Luckily for us, she has pursuers.
Round 2: Storm vs. the Dora Milaje
Remember, to claim the title of superhero, one has to master like a dozen martial arts. Every one of them donning spandex has a black belt in everything, which is probably useful when ninjas and robots attack every other day. Unfortunately, without summoning hail or whatever, the hand-to-hand goes badly.
It’s nice to have friends. Go make some friends for when you get ambushed by a squad of elite bald women. Sadly, round 3 has to be fought solo, but that makes sense in that emotional way — get ready to mop up that solitary cheek running down your cheek.
Round 3: Storm vs. Black Panther
Very bad, trust me. Shadow King currently possesses Black Panther. Now you get to see the kind of husband and wife fights that happen in the Marvel universe.
Still, for as fast and tough as Black Panther is, he simply can’t compete with his wife’s sheer power. She’s like a pretty Thor.
Knowing he’s outmatched, the Shadow King decides to bolt that sinking Wakandan ship to mess up the other half of Storm’s life, the X-Men. Time for Ororo to kick her boss’ butt.
Round 4: Storm vs. Cyclops
First, our heroine gets forced to take out all the other X-Men. Easy enough when crowd control can be conjured with a swipe of the hand:
For whatever reason if you’re still not convinced about Storm’s badassery, this’ll be my final plea. The two X-Men go head-to-head, unleashing their ultimate attacks in the hypothetical arm wrestling of eye lasers and lightning blasts.
I’m not putting words in any writers’ mouths, but I can’t imagine any story where Storm shows up and the bad guys don’t instantly get a downpour in their pants. Now, whenever people complain about the lack of strong female role models in comics, Storm should be the only argument you’ll need.