Hellcat saves Alaska, Pt. 2Posted: 10/10/2013
Today, she saves Alaska! When we left off Wednesday, Hellcat, the chipper martial artist who can sniff out magic, gathered up a crew of talking animals and traveled the tundra to save the shaman’s daughter from a scary monster. A scary monster that wears striped pants. If you forgot the feel good insanity of this story, allow me to remind you:
Patsy Walker, while not a terribly popular character, has a fairly intense back story. She married young to an abusive husband, and thanks to some blackmail towards the X-Man Beast, he gave her power-enhancing costume so she can claw crime or whatever. Then she hooks up with the son of Satan, commits suicide, and fights for a long time as a crazy gladiator of Hell before returning to the living. Though her costume’s just simple spandex now, her years of training with Captain America and Moondragon have paid off enough to compensate. Now she fights a yeti.
You see that fine coat the yeti’s wearing? That’s not a coat. So despite being a terrible person, the shaman’s daughter at least has the capability to love a man for his heart and not those notoriously good-looking Sasquatch genes. But the plot twists don’t end here. Y’see, shamans don’t breed through osmosis. One shaman doesn’t chant for a few days before splitting into two baby shamans. I love family reunions — especially between a long-lost daughter and her absentee father.
Look, a superhero needs skills beyond kickboxing. They have to be emotionally aware, able to counsel traumatic victims and use their words to defuse a situation before anything gets any worse. Sometimes that can be accomplished with threats, logic, or tugging on those heartstrings. But Hellcat has to deal with a teenager, and while I absolutely do not endorse this method of debate, it’s surprisingly effective:
Once Hellcat can get the girl home, the job’s complete and she can go back to nursing maple syrup liquors at the local igloo. If she has to be stationed in Alaska, she should at least make the most of the situation by befriending some caribou and romancing a local lumberjack. But first, she has a mission to finish.
Because we’re reading a comic, even a delightful one like this, Plan A always fails. Always. In this case, two women, a few talking animals, a yeti, and a giant stone map can weigh down a jeep. Especially a jeep that wants to jump a deep crevice. But remember Hellcat’s power to detect magic? Turns out yetis dabble in wizardry.
Lafuente’s a skilled artist to have the rabbits conveniently hide a character’s private parts mid-fall. Finally, and after a few bandages (physical and emotional), our story can end happily and satisfactorily. Thankfully, silly stories always end that way. Bullseye doesn’t jump out of a helicopter and behead the yeti with a playing card, because that would absolutely be a real fear in a Daredevil comic.
Magic’s a tricky, colorful tool. Its users tend to be mentally tilted and stubborn. Normal, stable people don’t wield any dark arts or brew potions or summon ice golems. You’ve read Harry Potter — those wizards are damaged. Alaskan shamans fit that stereotype just as snuggly. Still, all’s well, because miniseries usually wrap up much more nicely than ongoing series. Closure feels good.
More wonderful stories on Monday! Do something great this weekend!