Colossus hits stuff

On a side note before we begin, there’s a fantastic discussion on my Pixie Pt. 1 article about Greg Land’s tracing pictures and other art when he draws comics.  While I really want to comment, I realize that my success here also comes from me using the works of other people, so I can’t really criticize without being a huge hypocrite.  Either way, I adore reading the comments.

Last time I brought up Colossus, he had been fully influenced by the Phoenix Force — turning him into a total jerk.  He verbally abused his on-and-off girlfriend Kitty Pryde and almost physically destroyed the entire school she taught at.  That’s not fair to Colossus, so I’m going to make it up to him today with Uncanny X-Men #504-507, written by Matt Fraction and drawn by Terry Dodson.

At this point in X-Men history, poor Colossus recently lost dear Kitty.  As in to save Earth, she phased into a giant planet-sized bullet sent hurdling into space.  You can read more about it in a previous article.  And while Colossus’ steel exterior is unbreakable, his heart sure isn’t.

Meet Piotr (Peter) Resputin, the son of a poor Russian farmer.  Professor X contacted Colossus once his mutant powers manifested — super strength and the whole metal skin thing — and now he’s an X-Man.  But with his love Kitty (Katya) forever lost to the bowels of the universe, all that meaning and purpose has disappeared as well.  Luckily his teammates have some ideas.  Practical ideas.

And hit stuff he does.  That’s why I named the article that.  But despite the order from Colossus’ bosses/buddies to go inflict some mindless violence on those deserving of it, another box on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs has to be met first.

Even former Russian gangsters decide to pack up for the good ol’ USA once in a while.  The old man has a super cool mutant power — upon touch his tattoos show all the inner secrets of the person grabbed. An information broker gaining his infomation from extortion and violence.  And most importantly, Colossus has a personal connection to this man.

Dude’s a total jerk, shirt or no shirt.  Oh, did you catch Magik’s cameo?  That was before she claimed her throne as queen of Limbo, made weapons out of the souls of others, and became half-goat.  While nowadays only the first two apply, I never want you to forget she once had farm animal legs.

If you don’t mind me skipping some, Colossus figures going undercover as our antagonist’s lackey would produce plenty of people to punch and even more evidence to put away his extortionist for a very long time.  And like all good superhero secret missions, this one starts with Colossus proving his worth. By punching.

Bad guys admire guts.  So Colossus gets hired.  And then immediately fired:

With a dock full of women under his care, he takes them to the only place he knows can keep them safe: the X-Men’s mansion.  Because while Cyclops doesn’t really want to take care of dozens of former slaves, his moral obligation will force him to say yes.  It’s the same reason Spider-Man has to leave dates early if a police siren goes by.  The same reason Mr. Fantastic has to pause his research when a dimension is in trouble.  The same reason Wolverine has to put down his beer when a fight breaks out.

Colossus and Emma Frost make for a strange superhero team up.  Besides their steel/diamond armor, they don’t have much in common — though lately Colossus has been showing off just as much skin.  But if one unbreakable, unstoppable mutant is going to be a tough fight for our bad guy’s henchmen, two’ll make it completely impossible.

We all know what has to happen next.  Colossus has to to make his former extortionist pay for what he did to his own family and presumably thousands of others across Russia.  If these past few articles have taught supervillains anything, it’s that making enemies with people who can punch through mountains will never, ever be a good idea.  Unfortunately for Colossus, his pride demands he avenges au naturel.

For an arc that mainly revolves around Colossus redeeming his past by using restaurant supplies, it wraps up on one of the most beautiful comic book moments of the past few years.  Whatever the Phoenix Force did to poor Colossus, I hope all the damage’ll be undone one day.  Y’know, because of fate and destiny and all that.

Kitty returns to Earth from her bullet prison fifteen issues later.  But you know what would help ease Colossus back into his normal crime-fighting, X-Men-filled life?  Closure.  Like the closure that lasts forever.