Aquaman and Mera meet again

Aquaman continues with his merry wet life after Mera accuses him of having weak genes, murdering their child, and then whirlpooling away from him forever and ever.  And in the mid-1990s, because everything had to be extreme with lots of ‘tude, Aquaman received a makeover as well.  He no longer wears a shirt, had one of his replaced hands with a hook, and grew a beard to show off his shirtless hook-hand ruggedness.  But today in Aquaman #11-15, written by Peter David and drawn by Marty Egeland & J. Calafiore, that painful reminder of his past (Mera) returns once more for a weird story involving multiple dimensions and demons and alternative Aquamans.  But first, this:

Meet Aquaman’s paramour Dolphin.  Not the animal, you probably already know about those.  That’s her only name too, by the way.  She has all the normal Aquaman-like superpowers and eventually gets impregnated by Aquaman’s sidekick Aqualad.  But because we’re reading a comic book, we save lengthy discussions for after the post-coital fistfight.  Why explain when you can punch?

Of course this has to happen.  Young boys read comics, and young boys want two women to headbutt each other fighting over their man.  You’re probably wondering where she went these five years she’s been absent (well, real time for five years, DC universe time for a few months).  Don’t you worry, she’ll tell you — after some more cattiness.

See?  I told you this arc was strange.  That’s an alternative dimension Aquaman-like dude called Thanatos.  I’m telling you this mainly because I’m skipping over his entire storyline.  He’s abusive, evil, and dating/stuck with Mera or whatever their alternative dimension relationship status is.  Y’see, after Aquaman, Mera, and Dolphin travel to Mera’s current home, Aquaman fights in jungles, gladiator arenas, and the French Revolution.  Seriously.  You should buy this book if you want to see Aquaman on a guillotine.

It’s actually a place called the Netherworld, but close enough to Hell.  I know the series sets up for a love triangle (though brief) between Aquaman, Dolphin, and Mera, but the back of our minds know the truth.  Aquaman and Mera are meant for each other.  Look, Spider-Man can date whoever he wants. It’s fun.  It’s good for drama and story.  But we all know the end result — he’ll eventually get back with Mary Jane because they’re meant for each other.  So let Aquaman have his dalliances, his hook-hand mid-life crisis, and all the delightful soap opera that comes with Aquaman and Mera’s history — but we know the end result.  Even if it takes years (and it does).

They find a way back to their own dimension through Aquaman’s wizard frenemy.  Aquaman and Mera don’t get back together for another fifty-ish issues or so.  After all, they have a Mariana Trench worth of problems and history to work out.  Oh, and also this:

Next time, we begin the long road to reconciliation!  Let’s all get excited for love!