Wonder Woman’s Batman dilemma

Just another normal night in Gotham City:

No costume or gimmicks means this young girl’s getting locked up in normal prison.  No psychiatric treatment and padded walls for her.  Being well aware of her options, she chooses the smartest one.

Except in our little adventure today, Batman’s the antagonist.  Yup, we’re rooting for that girl with the cool leather jacket and fancy motorcycle.  Just because she offed some dudes doesn’t mean she can rumble with the Dark Knight, so she goes to seek help from someone who can.

Thus starts Wonder Woman: The Hiketeia, a graphic novel written by Greg Rucka and drawn by J. G. Jones.  The success gathered from this one-shot became so great, that Rucka was hired to become the writer for the Wonder Woman series the next year.  Y’see, Wonder Woman (Princess Diana of Themyscira) comes from the Amazonian island soaked in ancient traditions and rituals.  Our young girl protagonist, revealed as Danielle Wellys, memorized one of them.

Hiketeia, explained in the first few pages of the book that I didn’t show you, is an oath which once made, forces the supplicated to protect the supplicant.  No matter what.  With extreme penalties for either party breaking the oath.  Penalties that involve those hooded ladies with the smeared lips.

While Diana ain’t scared of some demon ladies, they do kick her butt in the battle before this talk. Magic and whatnot.  So this trial they mention?  Later, because gaining Wonder Woman’s assistance also means being her assistant.  Two way street in Hiketeia.

I really just wanted to show you what Wonder Woman does in her free time when she’s not jump kicking cheetahs or whoever’s attacking that day.  And more urgently, she has a trial to deal with.  An angry, brooding trial.

Both Wonder Woman and Batman get to be moral compasses for the heroes of the DC universe. They’re original members of the Justice League and both fight crime amid the painful sacrifices and suffering endured.  But you know the drill.  Batman’s black and white.  He may pull off the wings and legs of a passing fly, but he’s never going to squish it.  Explanations for murder are meaningless, because the law states not to murder.  Done and done.

Wonder Woman tends to be more lax with that extreme.  That and she’s killed a whole bunch of people/monsters/bugs.  And normally, she wouldn’t harbor a fugitive considering that she’s a superhero and all.  But an oath’s an oath, regardless of Batman’s desires or intentions.  Though wouldn’t hurt for him to make a little bit of small talk first.

Danielle’s fear-stricken face is a testament to Batman’s reputation.  Criminals pee their pants even when Wonder Woman, who’s as strong as Superman but with none of the weaknesses, blocks Batman’s path.  Though that’s not going to stop him from being mean.

Not armed with any Amazonian kryptonite (pants?), Batman acknowledges his defeat.  For now, because it’s hard to peg the Dark Knight as a quitter.  More importantly, Danielle emotionally begs Wonder Woman to let her tell her what’s going on.  Y’know, to justify punching her teammate off a second floor balcony.  And while she’s absolutely a murderer, the men did deserve it.  Danielle’s sister, filled with hopes and dreams, arrives in Gotham City with promises of a new, happy life.  Oops. This is the least disgusting of all the pages of her sister’s story:

Unsurprisingly, Danielle followed her sister to Gotham intending to avenge her death by these pimps/drug dealers.  Mission complete, by the way.  Only thing she botched was the escape plan where the local superhero doesn’t yank her off her motorcycle.  Danielle understanding that she’s the reason two friends have to battle, she runs away.  Terrible mistake.

C’mon, that’s a super awesome line from Batman.  Notice the problem?  Batman won’t stop because his resolve won’t allow him.  But Wonder Woman can’t break her oath because tradition/witch claws won’t allow her.  No matter the outcome, it’s a loss.

Of course he’ll get back up.  That’s what superheroes do.  Poor Danielle, watching the whole time from the sidelines, realizes there’s only one way to end this fight.  The way the witches wanted from the very beginning.

Not to lessen the tragedy, but the Justice League cafeteria’s going to be pretty tense after this. Now go read Rucka’s run on Wonder Woman.  It’s about time you get acquainted with the warrior princess.

Black Mask: Gotham’s mob boss

Batman’s rogue gallery may very well be the most beloved in comics.  Also, it’s enormous.  Black Mask, while not known to casual fans, has been around since 1985 (eight years before Bane) and during the 2000s, he becomes the undisputed ruler of Gotham’s criminal underworld.

Black Mask (real name Roman Sionis), like most of Batman’s villains, has no superpowers.  Born to miserable socialites, Roman develops sociopathic tendencies and eventually turns to crime.  Later, a fire fuses his mask (to disguise his identity) to his face permanently.  Finally, during the Batman event War Games in 2004, he does some super horrible stuff and secures his place as the most powerful gangster in Gotham.  And as you know, villains are just as important as the heroes they fight.

More importantly, and the entire reason I’m writing this article, is his rockin’ personality. Yes, he’s a sick, twisted bad guy and I don’t recommend bringing him up during your church dinners or soup kitchen duty, but I became enthralled with his conversations and actions during the Under the Red Hood arcs that took place in Batman #635-41 and #645-50, written by Judd Winick and drawn mainly by Doug Mahnke.  We’ll take a look at three of those scenes.

Let’s introduce today’s focus:

As we read a few of his scenes from the arc, we also have to talk about the Red Hood.  The Red Hood’s an ol’ timey villain introduced in 1951, and actually served as the Joker’s alias for a while. Joker wore his Red Hood costume when he got knocked into the chemical vat by Batman (thus bleaching his skin, turning his hair green, and triggering his latent insanity).

Now, in 2005, the Red Hood suddenly appears again.  Since it’s fairly common knowledge at this point, the Red Hood’s identity is revealed to be Jason Todd, the second Robin.  Y’know, the Robin who was killed by Joker after a crowbar attack and explosion in 1988.  The same Robin who was brought back to life because Superboy-Prime punched a hole in reality.  Not a joke.  He grew up in hiding, trained in secret, and re-emerged as a full-on supervillain.  The same supervillain who’s going to challenge Black Mask for control of his criminal empire.

Scene 1

How could you not love Black Mask’s nonchalant threats and bargaining?  No one could argue that it’s easy to run the entire underworld.  The lifespans are short, the stress is high, and the risks are great. But if you’re going into that lifestyle, why not enjoy it?  Black Mask certainly does.  Plus, check out his business chops:

You and I aren’t stupid.  No one climbs the bloody mountain to the murderous peak by making deals with fresh faces.  I mean, Black Mask has a reputation of cruelty, even to those trained by Batman and Ra’s al Ghul.  So, being the shrewd businessman, Black Mask finds a way to get his product without having to pay.  The Gotham way.

Want to see Jason Todd take on Mr. Freeze?  Gotta buy the comic, I’m pushing 30-ish pictures today already.  But the war between Black Mask and Red Hood heats up.  Turns out Jason Todd’s fairly successful at what he does: hostile takeovers of illegal businesses.

Scene 2

The joke here is literal.  Also, doesn’t it seem surprisingly easy for Gotham’s supervillains to get their hands on really powerful weaponry?

Just because the Red Hood doesn’t have any superpowers doesn’t make him any less dangerous than those who do.  And Black Mask and his goons can’t even put a dent in the guy.  Plus, after a dude blows up your office, it’s time to start accepting outside help, and luckily, that outside help comes to him.

If you don’t know Deathstroke, he’s the assassin who once took on the entire Justice League at once and almost won.  I think I’ll show that issue soon.

So what does Black Mask want help with?  Let him eloquently explain:

Unfortunately, Deathstroke himself is just the messenger.  His skills are way too valuable to take out a former Robin.  But for the small price of Black Mask’s agreement to become a Society member, the Gotham criminal will get a few supervillains of his own to sick on the boy wonder.  Though to be fair to Black Mask, the supervillains provided aren’t exactly Lex Luthor or Gorilla Grodd caliber.

Sometimes it’s just nice to see two deadly, amoral supervillains bond a little bit.  And how do the supervillains do against the Red Hood (and Batman)?  You’ll have to read it.  Though in the animated movie of this comic, Captain Nazi and Hyena are nowhere to be seen, sadly.

Scene 3

Because this arc takes place over thirteen issues, Black Mask and Red Hood brawl and fight a whole bunch.  But never each other, until the final two issues.  Which of course starts out innocently enough.

And that was the last page of innocence.

The battle between the two lasts most of the issue.  And even though the Red Hood’s a highly trained martial artist, the Black Mask holds his own surprisingly well.  As the two scream and hurl insults/philosophies amid breaking pool cues over each other’s backs, I’ve taken a few choice, super awesome things the Black Mask says to show you.  I’m way too good to you.

After the fight wraps up (though there’s still two issues after this for the amazing Batman vs. Red Hood finale that the whole arc has been building up to), the Dark Knight himself shows up for mystery solving/clean up.  Since Black Mask is a Batman villain, surely it’s important to see the two converse a little.  I mean, the series is called Batman.

Definitely the most adorable explosives I’ve ever seen, don’t you agree?  Coupled with a complete lack of fear of Batman and his own smarts, Black Mask totally realizes the truth about the Red Hood.  The truth that Batman doesn’t tell family members, much less supervillains.

After this debacle, Black Mask’s reign doesn’t last much longer once he targets Catwoman, who tends to be much less forgiving than Batman.  And for being a subplot within the main story, he totally rocked it, right?  Of course you agree, because you’re also awesome.

Aquaman’s Sub Diego, Pt. 2

Yesterday, we saw Detective Aquaman in action.  His case: half the city of San Diego had sank after an earthquake, but all the survivors suddenly could breathe underwater – and no longer out of water. The current culprit: a giant machine sea slug.  Probably not the real villain.  Plus, in part one, we didn’t see a single act of violence.  Will Aquaman muster up his aqua-strength and punch that angry monster into a goo that used to be monster?

Nope.  An explosion, certainly, but no butt kicking.  Though even Superman doesn’t always break up drug gangs, sometimes he gives them stern lectures while dangling them off skyscrapers.  Well, this is Aquaman’s stern sea slug lecture.  Oh, and his talking-to-fish powers.  Though as writer Geoff Johns stated in Aquaman #1, volume 7, he doesn’t really talk to fish, but it’s more a strong connection to sea life.  Good vibes or something.  I skimmed the issue.

With his third major revelation, something creeps into Aquaman that we haven’t seen yet.  Rage.  And it’s beautiful. You never thought you’d see these words, but don’t mess with Aquaman.

That’s my absolute favorite entrance into a private residence I’ve seen in comics in a long time.

Superman would stop her at this point, reminding the young teenager that just because this man committed evil acts, we shouldn’t commit those same atrocities to him.  Justice, not revenge.  But Aquaman isn’t Superman.  He takes the Batman approach.

Aquaman totally waterboarded our bad guy, a maneuver that’s been declared as legitimate torture by the United States government.  But c’mon, let’s hear our villain out.  He did it to save everyone.

And after all the world’s land has been submerged in water, no one will be laughing at Aquaman then! They’ll all be begging for Aquaman’s help after their plans to make rafts out of sea bass fail.

Normally I don’t show flashbacks.  I try not to put up more than a third or so of the pages in an issue or arc.  But I have to show a piece of this flashback, because Aquaman had the best 1990s costume of all the superheroes.  Y’see, comics were changing from the 1970s and 80s.  Superheroes were getting darker, angsty, and wearing leather jackets with spikes.  The whole comics-aren’t-just-for-kids thing.  And while in retrospect, it all looks silly and overly dramatic, I support them 100% for trying something new.  Plus, we saw a good decade of Aquaman looking like this:

Full beard, long flowing hair, a golden hook hand, and half a chestplate.  Oh, it’s glorious.  Superman’s mullet or Azrael’s mecha-Batman don’t even come close.  Aquaman, you’re the king of Atlantis, surely you can afford armor that protects both your pecs.

Instead of shipping our bad guy off to Guantanamo Bay, he does the responsible superhero stuff. Redemption and all that jazz.  First up, time to humble this mad scientist.

And then to put him to work.

Not exactly a happy ending.  Though Lorena does become the new Aquagirl.  Unfortunately, the dude didn’t design any cures, plus with the changes in their biology, it’s probably permanent anyway. And since the new aqua-civilians don’t have aqua-strength or aqua-swimming powers, Aquaman’s forced to obligingly take control of the situation.

Here, let him explain the future of the newly named Sub Diego.  After all, giving us hope is what superheroes are truly best at.

Aquaman’s Sub Diego, Pt. 1

I know people laugh when they hear the name Aquaman.  The least useful member of the Justice League!  His superpowers involve putting saddles on seahorses!  I get it.  But Namor, the Marvel version of Aquaman, is well-received and well-loved.  What’s the difference?  Does Aquaman need to flirt with more married women?  Maybe the TV shows made Aquaman out to be a goof.  I don’t actually know, though he has been around since the early 1940s, and that’s impressive considering how many superheroes from that era have disappeared.

Y’see, our story, which takes place in the American Tidal arc from Aquaman #15-20, volume 6, written by Will Pfeifer and drawn by Patrick Gleason, involves not so much punching fish and swinging tridents as it does heroism and a search for the truth.  Please don’t immediately close your browser. I understand, you joke around about how dumb the whole idea of Aquaman is, but at least give me a chance to change your mind.  If not his water-based abilities, then his recognition and worthiness as a superhero.  Pretty please?  Look, this is literally the opening page of the arc:

That must have caught your interest, right?  C’mon, pandas don’t live in the water.

So one normal day, a massive earthquake destroys San Diego.  Half the city sinks and the loss of life is in the hundreds of thousands.  Aquaman arrives on the scene and is appropriately devastated.

Well, Aquaman can’t reverse underwater earthquakes.  Especially since it’s a natural disaster and not a psychotic supervillain with a tectonic plate ray gun.  It’s not like superheroes can stop problems like hurricanes or tsunamis.  Actually, I think Superman can.  The Flash too.  Batman probably has a tsunami gun on his bat-plane.  Either way, he just has to cry salty tears until one night a lead finally shows up.

A child is found on a beach coming from the opposite direction people normally do.  Sadly, he dies, but that’s okay because with the help of forensic scientists and our hero’s extensive fish knowledge, Aquaman figures out a terrible secret.

Because Aquaman is a card-carrying Justice League member, he has to address the city.  Also most likely because half the city disappeared and people would feel a little better if told a new revelation from a guy who can swim 90 miles per hour.  I’m not saying a public announcement is a good idea, but Gotham City would probably be better off if Batman every once in a while was like, “Hey, Mr. Freeze froze all the highways, so maybe drive a little bit slower these next few days.”

Of course, because comic book worlds are infinitely more exciting than real life, he gets interrupted.

Being the responsible superhero, he has Martian Manhunter warp him to the Justice League base on the moon before the girl suffocates.  For research purposes obviously, because it’d be way easier just to push her back in the ocean.

You want to see what Lorena saw?  Turns out she was on a date with her tattooed, but gentle and hard-working boyfriend when she saw pandas surfing a tidal wave.  More importantly, from her memories, Aquaman has his second major realization.

Like the police after a loved one dies, Aquaman, the leading authority figure in the ocean, has to break the news to the survivors of the earthquake.  Just as you and I would feel if a fish dude told us we’re forever stuck riding sharks and running jellyfish farms, the survivors are thrilled horrified.  Unfortunately, a superhero’s job isn’t just to capture Somali pirate whalers or take down rogue Nazi submarines.

Such as having a truck when friends want to move, possessing super strength and government connections makes Aquaman a very busy man.  After all, with great power comes great responsibility and blah blah blah.

But what kind of superhero comic would it be without some danger and conspiracy?  Y’see, Aquaman’s dolphin buddy alerted our hero about some weird device.  So Aquaman and Lorena go check it out.  She’s sort of the sidekick of this arc.

Can you guess the moment things get bad?  Yup, right now.

Mutated machine sea slug!  About time we saw one of those.

Cliffhanger!  We’re going to stop here today, because someone recently told me that people don’t have the time to read a thousand words and forty images every single day.  But tomorrow, Aquaman kicks lots of butt and we get our answers.   Who’s really behind this earthquake?  Are there any possible cures?  Why is Aquaman’s left hand made of water?  Two of those three will be revealed tomorrow. Hint: the first two.