Heartfelt moments with the Avengers

I won’t lie – the finest pieces of literature almost always end in tragedy.  Maybe it’s the symbolism or a harder emotional punch, but sad stories tend to leave a longer lasting impact than stories ending in puppies and sunshine.  Well, too bad, because today I want some feelgood stuff.  Warm fuzzies for everyone!

So about a year and a half ago, Marvel realized that Spider-Man only had one ongoing title at that time.  Well, that’s just not going to work.  Spider-Man (and Wolverine) must have a minimum of three titles each or Marvel lose out on all those wonderful, easy profits.  Think of the characters as rabbit feet that spit money.  Luckily for me, after world peace and a full head of hair, more Spider-Man comics is my biggest wish.

Introduced in 2011, Marvel made the new series Avenging Spider-Man a team-up book, meaning Spider-Man would have a new buddy cop every issue or two:

She-Hulk this issue and next issue’ll be someone else.  Readers everywhere delight.  By the way, this is genius, if just because Peter Parker interacting with other superheroes may be one of his finest traits.  Let’s take a look today Avenging Spider-Man #4-5, written by the amazing Zeb Wells and drawn by Greg Land & Lenil Francis Yu.

Hawkeye

Our first story pairs Spider-Man up with Hawkeye.  You know Hawkeye — circus boy turned master marksman turned supervillain turned Avenger turned vigilante turned Avenger turned vigilante turned repeat a dozen times.  He quits the team a lot.  Anyway, this guy:

One night on patrol, Spider-Man and Hawkeye get into an argument:

I know we make jokes about Hawkeye.  The man uses a bow and arrows alongside the most accomplished war hero in history, a billionaire with armor that can make buildings explode from space, and the actual Norse god of thunder.  Hawkeye’s just a normal human with an Olympic talent, and trust me, he knows exactly how we all think of him.

Hard to argue his point.  Writers shouldn’t have to justify Hawkeye being on the team if it’s implied he has 100% accuracy with that weapon of his, because it’s certainly not his stellar personality that keeps him around.  Anyway, bad guys show up, of course.

Yes, that’s rude, but Sidewinder’s also a half mile away and Hawkeye’s using a medieval tool.  Still, Spider-Man’s doubt isn’t going to stop Hawkeye from taking the shot.  He’s a master marksman, gosh darn it.

And how does Hawkeye do?

Okay, so he missed the shot.  And really, even Captain America misses a shield throw once in a while.  Actually, I take that back — I don’t think he does.  Spider-Man being a true gentleman, he makes the decision any superhero would: the best one.

Ah, it’s a beautiful moment of boasting and arrogance.  Aren’t you glad you witnessed this?

You know what, I miss the old articles where I would post a monstrous amount of images and text. How about we go retro today and read one more?

Captain America

Did you know Captain America used to be a talented artist?  Well, maybe not talented, but certainly an artist:

To be fair to Steve Rogers, everything was cheesy in the 1940s.

Maybe not the reaction you were expecting, but Captain America has a good reason:

You can click it for a bigger image.  I think you would agree with me that someone has little time for cartoons when busy punching Hitler.  Spider-Man can’t contain his excitement about this little gem from the captain’s past.  That meant seventy-ish years ago, Captain America, the perfect human specimen, used to be a total nerd.  And trust me, nothing makes it more okay to be a nerd than having the symbol of the entire country on your side.

Too bad subtlety isn’t Parker’s strong point.

Though, Captain America’s not much better:

You know what that means, right?  Uncomfortable bonding time!  Also, Spider-Man not being able to take a hint.

Look, if you’re reading this, then you’re either a comic book fan or my parents.  So I assume you can sympathize with Spider-Man’s point of view.  Trust me, I’m reminded every day by TV shows, commercials, sneakers, toys, school supplies, and more that superheroes are, well, for kids.  If you truly take the time to think about it, the idea is insane that anyone over the age of twelve would be obsessed with men and women running around in colorful tights shooting lazers and icicles and whatever at each other.  And believe me, comic book nerds understand this completely.  Hopefully.

But listen, superheroes aren’t just an escape from a manchild’s horrible life as an IT Supervisor. Comic books are a form of literature, composed of a combination of two completely accepted types of art. It’s an art form that we all accept as needing years of honing talent and skill.  We’re not admiring Piss Christ or anything.  And you didn’t judge all those moms reading Twilight or Fifty Shades of Grey, right?  Deep down, in the lowest layers of our psyche, aren’t we just glad that those books, while far from perfect, simply got people to read?  Instead of judging older comic book fans for “not growing up” or what may be a potentially legitimate argument, can’t we just be happy that they found something they’re passionate about and interested in?  Joy can be so fleeting — trust me, I’m never happier than when I’m discussing superheroes, and that includes my job, cat, and adult beverages.

Spider-Man’s right.  We know it.  Captain America knows it.

And a good evening was had by all.