The love story of Iceman & Mystique, Pt. 3

While Iceman has had his heart broken once and then stomped on a second time by Mystique, don’t think this X-Man hangs his head alone each night as a single tear drips (and then freezes) down his cheek.  Bobby Drake — who is a thirty year-old man still going by the name Bobby — has had quite a fair amount of lovers and girlfriends.  Today, he attacks all of them, but we’ll get to that. In Astonishing X-Men #62-65, written by Majorie Liu and drawn by Gabriel Hernandez Walta, Iceman currently dates Kitty Pryde.  She’s way out of his league.

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But the title of the article includes Iceman and Mystique, so what’s she up to nowadays?

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Mystique only takes baths because she was born before showers were invented.  Look, this arc doesn’t focus solely on our two former lovers.  Mystique only contains a part of the story that leads up to character development through the influences of his ex-girlfriends.  But unlike Kitty, Opal, Lorna, and Annie — his other flames — only our shapeshifting supervillain knows when something’s wrong. After all, she’s instigated these sorts of situations for decades.

While the next scene doesn’t really advance the narrative, you want to see Mystique fight Gambit?

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Tentacles are new to Mystique, I know.  She had some power boosts recently.  But something is wrong with Iceman, and at least she’s making an effort to correct this problem.  Probably more so she doesn’t get attacked in the bathtub again than out of genuine affection for the X-Man, but let’s be fair — Bobby’s morals rest squarely in the category of superheroes that don’t ambush naked ex-girlfriends from a shower drain.

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Notice the harsh words our dear Bobby uses?  If you can’t tell something’s off, you will now:

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So a month ago, the X-Men fought some Celestials (giant alien gods?) and a shard of Apocalypse went missing.  You can probably guess where it is.  Y’see, because while Beast, a man of eloquent speech and even more eloquent science, fights the good fight to save and protect mankind, his alternative dimension supervillain self — creatively titled Dark Beast — tends to do the opposite.  Like shoving a shard of pure evil into Iceman’s frozen chest.

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Now, Mystique is tough.  She can take damage far beyond that of normal people, but she’s by no means invulnerable.  And even with her flailing tentacle powers, she doesn’t stand a chance of beating Iceman, much less evil huge Iceman.  But her strengths have always lied in manipulation and deceit. Her words hold far more power than any gun or laser beam, and her patience borders on legendary. Why not let the stronger people do all the heavy lifting until opportunity arises?  Watch her brilliance:

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If you read the dialogue again, Mystique tells not one lie.  She just meshes easier with supervillains, which currently describes huge winged Iceman.  Though dear Mystique has the same personality mishaps that all Marvel characters possess, at least her desires never change.  She only wants one thing: everything.

Oh, and the big guns get called in to deal with this chilly problem.

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And witness Apocalypse Shard Mystique:

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Y’see, she told Iceman the truth right from the very beginning.  She didn’t want him, she wanted what he had — namely that piece of Apocalypse power he had lodged in his chest.  When Thor eventually emerges victorious and shatters our antagonist, Mystique seizes her chance.  And then gets beaten. But more importantly, she allows Iceman to embrace that side of his personality he suppressed since childhood.  Supervillainy is all the joy and none of the moral responsibility.

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Since this moment, the two haven’t had any significant interactions.  I’m sure they will again one day, but we know which line Bobby chooses.  Despite a terrible youth, being hated by his own country, and accidentally destroying the lives of hundreds of people, Iceman will always be a hero.  We love superheroes because we admire those that rise up from adversity even as it’s kicking them on the ground.  But you know what we love more?  When superheroes rise up from that adversity in giant ice monster combat.

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7 Comments on “The love story of Iceman & Mystique, Pt. 3”

  1. furyoffirestorm78 says:

    Waitaminute…since when did Kitty date Iceman? I know that she’s dating the younger version from the past, but I didn’t know she dated current non-time displaced Iceman.

    • Jason Levine says:

      Right after Avengers vs. X-Men when Colossus became “evil,” she broke up with him and rebounded with non-time displaced Iceman. It didn’t last long. Once she switched to Cyclops’ side, she broke up with Iceman — y’know, I’ll look this up and write about it.

  2. The K.o.T. says:

    STOP PASSING KITTY AROUND X-UNIVERSE! -She’s better than that.
    Anyways, I had no idea about any of this… the melodrama and unresolved plot-lines got me out of the X-books by the late 90’s/early 2000’s. I check back in every few years but it never sticks. THIS WAS AWESOME, THOUGH! Especially the stuff from last post. -Loved it! Thanks, as always, for sharing…

    • furyoffirestorm78 says:

      I agree. I was so glad that Whedon brought back Piotr and reunited him with Kitty. Even when she was clearly too young for him back in the Claremont era, they had a lot of chemistry. It sucks that the writers decided to make Colossus both the vessel for the Juggernaut’s power and a fraction of the Phoenix Force (good lord, he probably could have beaten the living shit out of Galactus with that much power). They should have made Cyclops the sole bearer of the Phoenix Force since he was already becoming a major dick (to be fair, Cyke became a lot more interesting when he stopped moping about Jean, started banging Emma, and became a huge douchebag.)

      • The K.o.T. says:

        Absolutely, Whedon’s run was one of the only times I can back and actually enjoyed myself… And even though I see awesome stuff- like from the last four posts of this blog- I know those are only small pieces… and the rest of the comic probably isn’t as good.
        I agree though; Cyclops works best as a major dick. I’m glad they’ve fully embraced that- because even growing up, from the comics and cartoons- my friends and I always thought he was a douche anyhow.

  3. […] Arousing Grammar The love story of Iceman & Mystique, Pt. 3 […]


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