Northstar’s deportation problem

Northstar and his manager Kyle got married!  We all celebrated and rejoiced and hugged our loved ones.  Their marriage notched another mark into the bedpost of diversity in comics.  But if you’re going to have two characters take advantage of the United States legal system for the wonderful joy in all our hearts, that also means dealing with all the disadvantages (and oh, is there a lot) of the double-edged sword of the endlessly complicated United States legal system.  Like Northstar (real name Jean-Paul Beaubier) being a Canadian citizen instead of an American.  And his 2012 gay marriage not being recognized by the United States government.  So I present to you the other side of Northstar’s marriage that no one talks about: his immediate deportation.  Today, we’re using the following comics:
Astonishing X-Men #51, written by Marjorie Liu and drawn by Mike Perkins
Astonishing X-Men #56, written by Liu and drawn by Mike Perkins
Astonishing X-Men #59, written by Liu and drawn by Gabriel Hernandez Walta
Astonishing X-Men #66, written by Liu and drawn by Amilcar Pinna
Astonishing X-Men #68, written by Liu and drawn by Walta
Amazing X-Men #1, written by Jason Aaron and drawn by Ed McGuinness

Before we delve into law talk and other thrilling topics, let’s take a moment and refresh our memories on the delightful wedding between these two good-looking, happy, loving men:

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Yes, it’s everything a comic book wedding ceremony should be: overly emotional and an enormous pain for the artist to draw.  It feels good and we’re better people for having witnessed this.  Now normally, marrying an American citizen anchors dear Northstar to our beloved country, much like having a child or building an underground bunker would.  But when the X-Men – already a super high-profiled team – have a very public and very ornate wedding, it’s going to attract some major attention that it wouldn’t otherwise.  Like the government.  Correcting their mistake.

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Honestly, superheroes break laws all the time.  Due process, trespassing, assault (tons of assault), etc.  But superheroes have always been notoriously bad at solving problems that don’t involve punching.  So as Northstar breaks the news to his husband that all the dreams and desires they brought with them to New York will be crushed under the immense weight of American bureaucracy and the price of celebrity, remember the most important thing: Canada’s not so bad.  There are far worse places to be deported to.

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Nothing else is said about this for many, many issues.  The giant X-Men event X-Termination kind of abducts the current story line as Astonishing X-Men contributes some issues to the event.  Then Iceman has a schizophrenic, definitely evil, almost-destroying-all-of-NYC episode that takes up five issues.  So, we never see Northstar and Kyle move.  Actually, nothing else is ever mentioned at all except for the single page below where they briefly mention they’re in Canada.  But back to the Iceman thing, that’s why everyone’s so angry at him (also, Northstar use to have a crush on Iceman, but that’s wildly irrelevant information I’m only giving you to take up space).

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So what happens you ask?  I don’t know.  No one knows.  Astonishing X-Men ends and this court case never once gets brought up again in the history of comic books.  Luckily, our real life law caught up enough that comic book law could say these two would be allowed back in the United States, but I can’t tell you anything beyond what you just saw above.  Luckily, the next time Northstar appears, he’s a faculty member at Wolverine’s X-Men school in upstate New York, so we can only assume that he won his case.  Good job, She-Hulk.  Here’s some proof from Amazing X-Men:

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And everyone lived happily ever after!  Hopefully.  Goodness, it’d be nice.

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One Comment on “Northstar’s deportation problem”

  1. Brandon gray says:

    Please please please write or have a spider verse week or article come on spider punk Gwen as spider girl pleas


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