Iron Man roughs up Grey Gargoyle
Posted: 01/13/2013 Filed under: Fights, Marvel 2 CommentsWhile we’re on the subject of Iron Man, we should take advantage of the last article and watch him get his butt kicked struggle against insurmountable odds. Specifically, the Grey Gargoyle magical-hammer-wielding monster.
Know anything about Grey Gargoyle? You probably shouldn’t. Whenever Grey Gargoyle touches someone, they turn to stone for an hour. That’s really it. The supervillain gets thrown in against any hero who needs a baddie to beat up in between the real plot. I mean, the dude looks like this:
Well, until the Marvel event Fear Itself, that is. Seven magical Thor-ish hammers crashed on the planet, turning each of the lucky users into demonic powerful monsters. Unfortunately, Iron Man doesn’t know this yet. He’s about to find out in Invincible Iron Man #504-505, written by Matt Fraction and drawn by Salvador Larroca.
Click on the double-spread below for a larger version:
Grey Gargoyle’s cute stone power just became a lot more deadly. Also, so did Grey Gargoyle.
Okay, so let’s go over the odds of each combatant. With the possession from the hammer, Grey Gargoyle’s a mindless monster, incapable of anything beyond primal, instinctive actions. Major weakness there, except for that whole Thor-levels of strength he now wields. Remember the last time Stark fought Thor? I do. Very bad news for Iron Man.
Look, superheroes get knocked around all the time. No big deal — except for that whole the city’s-turned-to-stone thing. Because every misstep leads to this:
Round one ends as you expect it. Gruesomely.
One small benefit of fighting a mindless monster — Grey Gargoyle can’t tell the difference between unconsciousness and death. Especially when the opponent is wearing armor.
I know that the comic book world has little problems with massacring huge groups of people and cities. The Ultimate universe will take down entire countries each issue. But if you realize that every splotch of grey are wrecked Parisians, this is brutality on a horrifically visual level. Also brutal? Iron Man deciding it’s a good idea to stand up:
As of now, the second round’s going about as well as the first round. I’m sure he can pull himself together and pull out a secret weapon or something, right?
Maybe not. Luckily, at this point, one of the Iron Man clones/villains shows up to shoot missiles. You can imagine how that goes. I’m going to skip all that part, but this next picture is super cool:
I want to mention one benefit of Iron Man comics. He’ll always have huge robots with huge guns blowing stuff up at least once an arc. That’s what makes Iron Man so awesome. Then he uses his own robot suit to punch other robot suits. God, I love it.
Oh, and finally Stark pulls out a big time weapon. A laser sword, duh.
Always a good idea to slice off half the opponent’s head if things aren’t going your way. And the winning blow? Only a matter of time until Iron Man kicks him in his monster face and stands victorious over his defeated foe. I mean, he would have if this didn’t happen:
Strategic retreat. Did they tie? Let’s just think of this as Iron Man’s Vietnam.
With that, the Paris brawl comes to an end. For the rest of Fear Itself and Iron Man’s major role in the conflict, you have to buy the books yourself. Spoiler alert: lots of new costumes.
Doctor Octopus bullies Iron Man
Posted: 01/10/2013 Filed under: Characters, Marvel 2 CommentsIn comic books, geniuses live like kings. Cool powers (both super and authoritative), good-looking significant others, and the respect of billions. While society can argue otherwise, comic books are sort of a soap opera for nerds, so why not glamorize the culture that supports the industry? And in the comic book world, I think Tony Stark’s intelligence gets a little downplayed nowadays in favor of his pew-pew armor, and that’s unfortunate. He’s almost certainly in the top ten smartest people in the world and can easily go scientifically toe-to-toe with genius heavyweights like Mr. Fantastic, Hank Pym, Black Panther, and Beast. Oh, and Doctor Octopus.
In Invincible Iron Man #501-503, written by Matt Fraction and drawn by Salvador Larroca, we see the two scientists at their peak with dangerously high stakes — like most science competitions I imagine. Doc Ock gets Stark’s attention the only way a supervillain should.
We get the crippled, dying doctor this time. As you can imagine, he has a proposition. An evil proposition. By the way, if you’re a supervillain who spends most of his time living in caves and underground sewer lairs, it’s hard to get word out about the whole sickness thing. Spider-Man certainly won’t be able to find an appropriate time to insert this info during Avengers dinner, and Doc Ock can’t make a big announcement holding Oprah’s hand or anything.
You enjoy ego? You’re going to get 20 images of it. Despite discovering he’s nowhere near as invincible as his series suggests, Iron Man still possesses the self-esteem of a high school star quarterback and Octavius has mastered the art of gloating years ago. To recap, either Stark fixes Doctor Octopus or admits he can’t do it. That’s it. And oh, how he’ll try — ego’s at stake after all — but not before a verbal beatdown. I mean, the doctor did shoot a rocket through Stark’s penthouse.
You must be wondering why doesn’t Stark just laser blast him into space and go about his day texting models. Well, two reasons. First, and I didn’t show you this, the slightest repulsor blast will cause the nuke to go off. More importantly, his friends are being held hostage by Electro and Sandman. You can make many criticisms of Doc Ock, but the man’s called the Master Planner for a reason.
By the way, if you’d like incentive to buy this book, have you ever wanted to see Pepper Potts battle two of the Sinister Six? Of course you do. Here’s a taste:
Girl’s been upgraded in the past few years. Far away, the battle of wits commences in the secret Octo-dungeon. And the diagnosis?
In the next few pages, Stark makes one of the most compassionate and honest speeches I’ve read in comics. Y’know, the problem with being a good guy is taking time to make sure even the bad guys don’t die unnecessarily. It’s a tough break.
Look, as the violence starts, just remember that Iron Man tried. He really did. While Stark has matured as a character the past few decades, the same can’t really be said about Octavius.
Would Iron Man win this brawl if it continues? Definitely, but I mentioned it before — Doc Ock prepares for everything. He’s an evil, fatter version of Batman.
Unpredictability and back up plans for back up plans have made Doc Ock one of the most dangerous Spider-Man villains, with his metallic arms usually the least powerful of his weapons. And when Stark faces the situation at hand, he realizes the truth: he just lost to Doctor Octopus. So now, how’s he going to get the bomb disarmed? Remember that other option Stark had back in the beginning of the story?
You should be uncomfortable. This is an embarrassing moment for all of us. But as a character known for incredible narcissism, having Stark so quickly and easily shed his dignity shows Iron Man as the admirable and respected man we expect from our superheroes. Not the crying and begging part, but the sacrifice of Stark’s self to protect the helpless. That’s literature as it should be.
By the way, if you check earlier, Doc Ock totally does call it a bomb. City saved, but a tough day for Iron Man. At least Stark has the consolation of Octavius’ impending doom a few months from then. Well, I mean he did until last month.
We’re done with Doctor Octopus for a while, I promise. Go check out Superior Spider-Man #1 that went on sale this week — mainly to support Dan Slott and his endeavor in trying to tell new, interesting stories for characters that have been around for fifty years. Seriously, I’ve watched some of the YouTube rants that rail against the body switch and there’re wrong. Every one of them. Our culture thrives through innovation and crazy ideas, so why not let Spider-Man get in on that?
Spider-Man vs. Doctor Octopus rewind, Pt. 3
Posted: 01/08/2013 Filed under: Fights, Marvel Leave a commentSick of the two yet? Last day of Spider-Man and one more day of Doc Ock, I promise. For at least a week or two. Finally we get to witness the supervillain in both his classic outfit and haircut. I’m excited too. Let’s delve right into Peter Parker: Spider-Man #39-41, written by Paul Jenkins and drawn by Mark Buckingham.
So the story’s actually about a prosthetic limb conspiracy, which is a super awesome concept. Unfortunately, we’re going to ignore almost all that part.
How the doctor’s fallen from grace. Fusion, who’s a very minor bad guy, has the mutant power to persuade others to do and think what he wants and manipulate senses. Also, more complicated stuff, but that’s the gist of it. Eventually, Spider-Man shows up, because y’know, his name’s in the title of the series.
By the way, “the supervillain who fights like a computer nerd” may simultaneously be both the most hurtful and accurate description of Doctor Octopus I’ve ever read. Unfortunately for Spider-Man, he didn’t catch on to the whole team-up thing going on and in a fight I’m not showing you, he gets a surprise beating. See?
Count another case of massive head trauma for Doc Ock. The proportionate strength of a spider applies to all of Spider-Man’s body parts. And just so you can appreciate what’s coming up, here’s an example of Fusion’s powers.
Scary stuff, I’m sure. So this is Fusion’s last appearance in the comic book world. You’ll understand in a second. Just understand that Octavius’ flair for the dramatics makes him far more formidable than both you and Fusion think.
Wonderful show by the doctor. The dude’s the second (or third if you want to argue Venom) most infamous Spider-Man villain for a reason, and Spider-Man has the largest rogue gallery in comics. Well, probably after Batman. Want to see the aftermath?
Obviously this is a lead up to a climactic battle between the two bitter enemies. But I would like to showcase one aspect of Peter Parker’s personality that’s rarely praised — his detective skills. The guy’s not exactly Nick Fury, but let’s give our hero his due. Or at least his superfriends.
In case you don’t know Murdock, that’s lawyer/vigilante Daredevil. Giving a good name to gingers everywhere. Let’s skip to the fight.
If you don’t feel like using a dictionary, vacuous is a synonym for stupid. I just looked it up. You’re on your own for Doc Ock’s other SAT words he’s used so far.
You know why Doctor Octopus always loses? Well, besides being the bad guy? Ego.
To beat his supervillain, Spider-Man shoots the electricity through his own body to electrocute Octavius. And because of his enhanced spider-durability, he can take a lot more voltage than the poor doctor. To be fair, Octavius should have spent more time killing and less time gloating. Doctor Octopus: the intelligence of a computer nerd, but the combat instincts of one too.
And so Doctor Octopus lives to fight another day. I don’t think he realizes how lucky he is to be Spider-Man’s enemy. I’m just saying the Punisher would have watched him become a green and metallic stain on the pavement. Gleefully.
On Friday, Doc Ock battles Iron Man! Do you enjoy reading bitterness and resentment? Oh, I certainly hope so.
A Green Goblin intermission
Posted: 01/06/2013 Filed under: Characters, Marvel 3 CommentsWe have two more days of Doctor Octopus after this, but every once in a while in my “research,” I come across something that makes me do a literary double-take. Yesterday, I read Peter Parker: Spider-Man #44-47, written by Paul Jenkins and drawn by Humberto Ramos. A visceral excitement overwhelmed me. While not perfect, the story amazes and the art’s so emotionally done that I have to interrupt our Doc Ock stories so I can share this with you. Immediately.
Let’s briefly get into a little publication history of Green Goblin. He premiered in Amazing Spider-Man #14 and quickly became Spider-Man’s arch-nemesis. Until Amazing Spider-Man #121 in 1973. I can’t overstate the importance of that issue not just for the characters but for comics in general. At the end of the issue, this happened:
The Green Goblin threw Gwen Stacy off the George Washington Bridge and when Spider-Man tried to save her, the immediate stop from his webs broke her neck and killed her. Brutal, sure, and the first moment in comics that truly shocked readers — before that, the death of a major character was unthinkable. Amazing Spider-Man #121 ended the Silver Age of comics single handedly and brought forth the edgier Bronze and later Modern Age of comics. Nowadays, comics kill off major characters like a throw at a superhero dartboard, but this was a way different time for the literary medium.
Norman Osborn, the Green Goblin, accidentally caused his own death in the next issue. And he stayed dead for 23 years. For newer readers and those who caught onto comics in the past decade or two will always see Green Goblin as the web-slinger’s most dangerous and influential foe. How can we argue that a man who was absent for half of Spider-Man’s entire history could possibly be his number one baddie? Today I hope to prove it.
As we start our story, Parker’s had some tough days. He’s still estranged from his wife, for one.
And as thus commanded of a superhero’s life, things get worse. Much worse.
Green Goblin didn’t ambush our hero just to lob a few pumpkin bomb and have his jollies. I mean, he’ll do that, but with his son Harry (currently) dead, Osborn needs a successor to the Green Goblin throne. Comes with a Fortune 500 company and a supervillain arsenal that rivals small countries. Spider-Man’s always been the worthiest contender in Osborn’s mind — all Osborn has to do is rip out that sense of morality and instill a bloodthirsty hatred and vengeance. Sounds easy enough.
Green Goblin’s plan involves a lot of heartbreak and emotional devastation. That’s what makes him the arch-nemesis. Y’see, he knows Spider-Man’s secret identity as Peter Parker since the 1960s, and unfortunately, part of his “convincing” involves forcing Parker to accept and embrace his anger and hate. Very Jedi/Sith stuff. Look, Spider-Man doesn’t have the emotional fortitude of killers like Wolverine (though even Wolverine gets overcome with guilt and runs naked in the forest every five or six years). Parker killing a man will set him on a path that he won’t recover from. A supervillain slippery slope. Green Goblin totally know this.
First on the innocent victim checklist:
Obviously, Spider-Man isn’t about to let anymore of his friends or loved ones get hurt. Time to end this insane, rambling charade. Just a heads up, I cut out large portions of the upcoming issue-and-a-half brawl, but I promise all the important stuff’s still in there.
Did you know Harry Osborn and Liz Allan (another childhood friend) got married and had a son? The kid’s named Normie and probably about three or four years old. There’s some trivia you’ll never need.
And with that, the Green Goblin’s won this round:
Phenomenal page by Ramos. C’mon, the green goop dripping down, the tears in his eyes, that death stare, the purposely tiny text — this page is a masterpiece. I’d print it out and frame it, but I think the picture’ll bring up too many questions without context.
Oh, the beauty of Green Goblin tears. Yeah, that’s probably from the spicy green goop, but can’t a case be made for the frustration and emotional intensity both of them are experiencing? Osborn’s entire legacy hinges on this fight.
Both foes are roughly the same durability and strength, but Parker could absolutely crush Osborn’s skull into goblin paste in a heartbeat. And with that threat the Green Goblin just made?
Of course Spider-Man can’t kill anybody, no matter the stakes or the leverage. That’s what makes him a superhero in the first place. I want you to pay close attention to this next part. Parker and Osborn have a heart-to-heart they’ve badly needed for decades.
The worst part of that verbal exchange? The words hit harder and truer than any punch could. Parker’s shown his unbreakable morality — the reason we love and value him so much as a character. Spider-Man won, Green Goblin lost. As it always will be.
Spider-Man vs. Doctor Octopus rewind, Pt. 2
Posted: 01/03/2013 Filed under: Fights, Marvel 3 CommentsThrilled for part two? Look, if this is the man that’s replacing the most popular superhero in the Marvel universe, we should spend a few days on him. Maybe one more day after this. Then Doc Ock versus Iron Man. There’re a lot of options with Otto Octavius. I mean, he used to be a big deal in comics, and now he gets to be the biggest. Though to be fair to every other character, writer, and company, I’m really biased.
Today, let’s take a look at Amazing Spider-Man #43-45, volume 2, written by J. Michael Straczynski and drawn by John Romita Jr. I’m picking up a little ways into the story, but Peter Parker’s marriage to Mary Jane is in trouble (not demonic problems, just normal marital strife) and Octavius has been kidnapped. See?
I like this Doc Ock look. He drops the bowl cut and adds in some Mr. Fantastic temple grey-ing to his hair. Combine that to his fancy sunglasses and that’s the kind of flair we expect from a supervillain in his mid-50s.
So a young entrepreneur stole Octavius’ tech. As far as copying supervillain powers go, Doctor Octopus is not a bad choice. First, no weird magic spells or experimental serums to inject. Plus, giant flailing arms intimidate civilians, they can’t be disabled like laser beams or computer systems, and they can reach the top shelves of cupboards. Fake Doctor Octopus commits the most basic of supervillain crimes, as expected from a man who can’t think of any original ideas of his own:
Good deal, especially the whole robbing Los Angeles thing. He’d be whacked with a billy club before he made it a step into the New York City bank vaults. Only one little problem with robbing a supervillain.
What’s the first thing bad guys do when they escape death traps? Hint: it starts with an “r” and ends in “evenge.”
Before the fight, here’s an old-timey joke:
Round 1
For the next picture, click on the double-spread page for a bigger version of the fight montage.
I should mention that Spider-Man’s actually in town. Y’see, to repair his marriage to Mary Jane, Peter decided to fly to LA where she’s currently the lead actress in a big budget superhero movie. Tough break for the bad guys, because the West Coast Avengers abandoned the city years ago. I think California as a whole only has like, Moon Knight defending the entire state.
The fake Doc Ock decides to be bolt, which is the only smart decision he’s made the whole arc:
Do you see that? Doctor Octopus exhibited decency and a sense of value for human life! Combined with Peter’s forced empathy blast in Amazing Spider-Man #700, maybe there’s hope for a real change once Octavius gets back in his old body a few years from now. We got to see a real moment of selflessness in the above picture. Doc Ock can be a good person!
Well, maybe not that good. When fake Doc Ock mentioned the studio, you know who’s there, right?
Okay, let cover some brief back story. About 500 issues before this, Aunt May and Doctor Octopus almost get married. I’m serious — something about Aunt May inheriting an uranium-rich island the evil doctor wants. So despite how we all know and feel about Doctor Octopus, Aunt May actually holds a soft spot in her heart for the man and vice versa. Though I would call it more of a knowing glance of compassion than a disgusting-to-imagine full-blown romantic passion.
If you buy the issues we covered today, Spider-Man has a long and well-written escape from the rubble of the collapsed building. You’d love it.
Round 2
Witness the embarrassing end for the fake Doc Ock:
Beaten by cotton candy or science goo or whatever that is.
At least the danger’s past. Just not the danger in poor Peter’s heart. By the way, it’s been confirmed that Doctor Octopus Spider-Man will be dating Mary Jane again. That’s a step in the right direction, though definitely an icky direction.
Spider-Man vs. Doctor Octopus rewind, Pt. 1
Posted: 01/01/2013 Filed under: Fights, Marvel 1 CommentWith Doctor Octopus now inhabiting Spider-Man’s body, I thought we should roll back time a bit and check out a few of their previous battles. Most importantly, I want you to see Doc Ock’s outfits over the next few articles. That man may change clothes often, but a fashion connoisseur he is not. Let’s not beat around the bush and jump right into Spectacular Spider-Man #6-10, written by Paul Jenkins and drawn by Humberto Ramos.
As you know, Spider-Man’s one of the few “street” superheroes in New York City. That means he webs out of his apartment and actually swings around the city once or twice a day to check for crime. I actually never thought about this until now, but besides Spider-Man and Daredevil, the city really doesn’t have much in superhero patrol. Captain America and the Fantastic Four think too highly of themselves to busy themselves with bank robberies and muggings. Though to be fair, Spider-Man can’t really take on Galactus anyway.
You like the black trench coat? Doc Ock’s wearing Matrix cosplay. Anyway, the evil doctor has a preposition for our hero.
Doctor Octopus can always be counted on for two things: his enormous ego and long, windy speeches. He’s such a beautifully stereotypical bad guy. Though this time, Octavius has a plan that’ll force Spider-Man to comply with his demands. Did you guess it’ll be unnecessarily world-threatening?
Current events! The best hope for peace in the Middle East depends entirely on Peter Parker unmasking himself in front of the world. Why? I don’t know, that’s just what supervillains do. Doc Ock tries to explain this to his hostage in his normal verbose manner:
I always assumed that the people of New York City knew that Spider-Man was a normal man with a normal face. God knows they’ve seen enough skin with his ripped up costume after brawls. Look, if you ever question Octavius’ madness, just remember that Octavius is mad. The crazy definition.
So Spider-Man has to make a decision. A complicated decision. Aunt May sums it up best:
The suspense getting to you? Don’t you worry, because our dear hero has a plan. A cunning plan.
This next page isn’t relevant to our story, but it’s super cool. I really like Ramos’ art.
Anyway, time to shut Doc Ock down. Oh, did I forget to mention subplots with disgruntled detectives, a New Zealand best friend, and Mossad? I’ve skipped a lot.
Spider-Man wins. He always wins (except for y’know, the most recent issue). All that’s left is a few punches to fell the doctor and everyone goes home fulfilled.
Spider-Man just summarized Doc Ock better than I ever could. Readers sometimes forget just how much of genius that Octavius possesses. He’s easily on Tony Stark or Norman Osborn’s level of intelligence. But like Osborn, instead of curing cancer, he’s content with throwing pumpkin bombs or elaborate plots to destabilize the Middle East if he doesn’t get a spandex mask. Octavius touched upon it earlier: his obsession with proving others to be inferior has prevented him from embracing his own superiority. Hopefully Superior Spider-Man will change that — and a lot more punches.
Anyway, the fight goes to the sewers.
You know those 86 counts of massive head trauma Doctor Octopus mentioned in Amazing Spider-Man #600? There’s one. Now comes the physical and emotional beatdown by our hero. That’s what we expect in comics.
Doc Ock deserved it. And I don’t know where Spider-Man keeps a pen and paper in his suit either.
I explain the events that led up to Superior Spider-Man
Posted: 12/30/2012 Filed under: Characters, Marvel 15 CommentsBy now you must know that Marvel’s current longest running series Amazing Spider-Man ended on Wednesday with Peter Parker’s death and Doctor Octopus taking over the Spider-Man role. I can already hear the groans from millions of comments on Yahoo! News. And yes, without knowing anything (and an attitude smeared in bile and rage), it’s a strange and frustrating idea. I’m here to reassure you that nope, this will be fantastic — quite possibly one of the best things to happen to Spider-Man in a long time. The Amazing Spider-Man writer Dan Slott has only written genius, and as I explain it all to you from the beginning, I hope your fears will be abated as well.
The very first seeds of this switch were planted way back in Amazing Spider-Man #600, written by Slott and drawn by John Romita, Jr. Y’see, turns out that Doc Ock’s supervillainy career hasn’t been all moneybags and maniacal laughs.
As you figured, Otto Octavius has been pummeled quite a bit in his 50 year history. Click on the next picture for a larger version:
Doctor Octopus is dying. Nothing can be done about it. But unfortunately, a man of that ego won’t go peacefully. Nope, time to skip robbing banks and put forth more ambitious plans.
Now, why is this important to Superior Spider-Man? It’s what happens next:
Notice what happened? Using Doc Ock’s own device, Spider-Man used his brain waves to overtake and control the Octobots.
In Amazing Spider-Man #672, written by Slott and drawn by Humberto Ramos, he uses it again in the conclusion of Spider-Island:
A few issues later, Octavius makes one final destroy-the-world scheme. Luckily, Spider-Man planned ahead complete with a new Doctor Octopus-proof suit as shown here in Amazing Spider-Man #687, written by Slott and drawn by Stefano Caselli:
As you might expect, Spider-Man saves the world because Marvel comics have still been produced since this issue.
That cool Spider-Man outfit? One neat little addition was a device that tapped into Doc Ock’s brain waves, similar to the helmet Spider-Man has already used twice. Normally, that’s just one more reason why Spider-Man’s so resourceful and intelligent. Except for one simple fact: Doctor Octopus is smart too. Like a super genius.
Cut to Amazing Spider-Man #697, written by Slott & Christos Gage and drawn by Giuseppe Camuncoli. The main story’s about two Hobgoblins running around, but that’s not important. Notice anything special on this next page?
See that golden Octobot? It’s shown on many of the pages, but never actually focused on. A delightful part of the background. I, like most readers, brushed it off until the next issue written by Slott and drawn by Richard Elson.
It’s been 98 issues since Doctor Octopus was told he had a year (at most) to live. Time’s up.
Honestly, I don’t think anyone saw that coming. And they’re lying if they say they did. Octavius’ final plan was to switch bodies with Spider-Man, taking with him all his memories and talents. How? Well, that’s what all this previous stuff has been about. Click the picture below for a larger version:
Don’t you see the amazing part? Spider-Man’s own genius backfired on him. His scientific knowledge and ability allowed him 50 years of defeating opponents tougher, stronger, and more numerous — and now, it’s that same skill Doctor Octopus exploited to open up and switch with Peter Parker’s mind. Beautiful!
Now we cut to Amazing Spider-Man #700, written by Slott and Ramos. Parker as Doctor Octopus has broken out of jail to get his own body back. Unfortunately, he has minutes before he dies. And despite all his best efforts and plans, he loses. Doc Ock wins.
Octavius’ body has given out and Spider-Man’s in prime condition. No metal arm waving or last minute bursts of strength. So, in Parker’s final act, he uses the memories the two of them share to force Octavius to relive Parker’s most important memories. Why? To teach Doc Ock the one thing he’s been lacking all these years: empathy.
And more. Look, Octavius will live on as Peter Parker — that’s already been decided. All Parker can do is make sure his legacy as Spider-Man and Spider-Man’s role in the world lives on in the right way.
Please understand this isn’t some cheap ploy or gimmick. Superior Spider-Man will be around for a few years at least judging from the interviews with Slott. We get to see Doctor Octopus with a second chance on life, and more importantly, as a superhero. A better superhero.
Trust me, Spider-Man is my number one favorite, and now we’re getting Spider-Man stories that have certainly never been told before in Marvel history. How can you not be excited? If you want more, check out Avenging Spider-Man #15.1 for the first issue starring the Doc Ock Spider-Man, and Superior Spider-Man #1 goes on sale in January. And finally, get your panties out of a bunch.
Nothing funny about Joker and the GCPD
Posted: 12/27/2012 Filed under: Characters, DC 3 CommentsWho’s the scariest of the Gotham supervillains? Sure, a bunch of them have horrific and catastrophic powers, but it’d be difficult to find someone to argue against the Joker. Maybe it’s his unpredictability and psychosis. Maybe it’s his massive body count and lack of motive. But when word gets out that the Joker’s running free, the city pees its metaphorical pants.
In 2003, DC had the genius idea to publish a series focusing on the Gotham police instead of Batman. If you enjoy crime procedurals and normal folks mixing it up with Batman’s rogue gallery, you’d love this series. Today, we’re going to focus on the police’s interactions with Joker in Gotham Central #12-15, written by Ed Brubaker & Greg Rucka and drawn by Michael Lark.
So a sniper has been assassinating important people all over Gotham. The mystery simmers for a while, but you can probably already figure out who’s behind the murders from today’s title.
Time to tell the boss the bad news.
Gotham’s savior confirms it:
Remember, while a few of these upcoming scenes may resemble The Dark Knight (though this series came out five years before the movie), Joker has been causing mayhem in the DC universe for probably two decades of comic book years. This is before the reboot, meaning Batman — and subsequently the Joker — are most likely about 40 years old. So when the cops realize the Joker’s behind the string of killings, they know full well what he’s capable of. And rightfully fearful.
Okay, if you buy and read the book, you’ll know a bigger plot about a bomb about to go off in the city, a timer counting down, targets being kidnapped and hidden. It’s extremely well done, but today I want to concentrate only on one single part:
The famous interrogation room scene! All good police dramas have to have them, and for good reason. How’s the Joker’s interrogation go? Would you guess not well?
Now go back and read that scene in your favorite Joker voice. Mark Hamill, Heath Ledger, etc. By the way, that female cop in the page above? That’s Renee Montoya, who was outed as a lesbian the arc before this and later becomes the superhero the Question. She becomes a very positive Hispanic and gay role model in comics and her impact shouldn’t be understated. Back to our story, taking into consideration what they’ve learned, the police do the responsible police thing.
A general rule of thumb is to never underestimate the Joker. I believe he once got to the point where he had harvested so much poison and bacteria under his fingernails that the tiniest scratch could kill a victim. Trust me, and Scott Snyder’s current run proves it, whatever’s campy about the Joker has been long gone for many, many years. Dude’s a terror, and a few policemen make a grave error in forgetting that.
You know what scares the Joker? Damn right, nothing.
Know about Sarah-Essen Gordon? She’s Commissioner Gordon’s second wife who the Joker shot while she protected a group of infants. Oh, and now the cop lets his guard down.
Poor intern. Luckily, like all good suspense, the girl gets saved just in time.
Of course the Joker survives. The reason why isn’t as important as the fact that he does. His reign of terror paused momentarily. As you no doubt realized, it’s not easy to be a Gotham city police officer.
Metropolis cops are wussies.
The tragic tale of Speedball and Penance, Pt. 3
Posted: 12/25/2012 Filed under: Characters, Marvel 8 CommentsAs we come to the conclusion of Speedball’s transf0rmation into Penance, the people killed in Stamford due to Speedball’s reckless actions against Nitro still weighs heavily on our hero’s mind. On his path to making amends, he’s currently working for Norman Osborn’s government-sanctioned Thunderbolts. But when he receives word that Nitro’s being held in Latveria, he attacks the country and mercilessly tortures the supervillain. Now, Osborn’s no stranger to skirting the law, but after Penance almost sparked war between two nuclear powers, it’s time to ship the emotionally disturbed teenager off to greener pastures.
The next step in Robbie Baldwin’s redemption begins in Avengers: The Initiative #25-30, written by Christos N. Gage and drawn by Humberto Ramos & Jorge Molinas.
Okay, so maybe Osborn’s more interested in having Penance blow up bad guys than healing a broken, ruined kid. But for the first (substantial) time since the Stamford incident, Penance gets something he badly needs: therapy.
And like all good comic book epiphanies, Penance has his during a battle against his former friends. No one knows Penance’s secret identity as Speedball except the Green Goblin and his lackies.
Understand that his breakthrough comes after a good year of suffering and scars. But unlike real life, comic book characters tend to forgive pretty easily. Wolverine has killed God knows how many innocent people while brainwashed and he’s now running the most respected X-Men school in the country. Scarlet Witch wiped out 99.9% of the mutant population with three words, and she’s now a card-carrying Avenger. Redemption not only makes for a great story, but it’s almost certainly a mandatory part of a superhero’s life story by this point. It’s about time Baldwin realized the truth:
To truly rid himself of his guilt and pain, he only has two items left to cross off. First up:
Speedball forgives himself
At this point, Penance has accepted enough that he can actually go back to being Speedball. By no means is he okay, but he doesn’t need 600 spikes tearing at his flesh every time he throws a punch. To help out the Avengers, Baldwin accepts a job teaching at the newly formed Avengers Academy. We’ll be seeing a few select scenes from Avengers Academy #10, written by Christos Gage and drawn by Sean Chen.
Though remember what I said about Speedball not being totally cured?
At this exact moment, like many important moments in a superhero’s life, bad guys attack. If you ever wonder why that happens, think about it from a math perspective. A more popular hero, like Spider-Man or Iron Man, probably has a good twenty supervillains in their main rogue gallery. That’s not counting the hundreds of minor villains they’ve fought. Counting crossover baddies, let’s say fifteen supervillains for every superhero. If I had to guess the amount of superheroes operating in just New England alone, it’s probably at least a hundred or so. That’s 1500 baddies running around at one time, minus those in prison or alternative dimensions or whatever. I’m just saying there’s a reason why when superheroes go on patrol, they usually find some trouble. Like at the Stamford Memorial.
Oh, and Speedball still has all his Penance powers. More importantly, Baldwin finally gets told the truth: while he did inadvertently cause the death of 600 innocent people, he’s prevented far more than that in his career as a superhero. It takes time, but at some point the good’ll outweigh the bad.
Speedball will move on and be okay. But now comes the most influential part of his redemption.
Stamford forgives Speedball
During the Marvel event Fear Itself, horrible stuff terrorizes the entire world. Lots of people dying and catastrophes hitting the planet. Baldwin heads to Stamford to help protect the city under attack. I don’t think you’d be surprised to hear that his heroic return isn’t really well-received. If you want the whole story, check out Fear Itself: The Home Front #1-7, written by Christos Gage and drawn by Mike Mayhew. Anyway, despite citizen protests, he saves the town:
You know the saying of forgive, not forget? Stamford decides to take that approach.
Feels good, right? Finally over his tragic mistake, what’s next for Speedball? I don’t know his current whereabouts, but I can show you this from Avengers Academy #20, written by Christos Gage and drawn by Tom Raney:
Wherever he is now, the man’s doing some good. Like a superhero should.
The tragic tale of Speedball and Penance, Pt. 2
Posted: 12/23/2012 Filed under: Characters, Marvel 6 CommentsIn part one, Robbie Baldwin’s (aka Speedball’s) recklessness caused the supervillain Nitro to explode in a crowded city, killing over 600 people. This set into motion the Marvel Civil War, but more importantly, Speedball’s intensive guilt and suffering changed both his powers and his costume. Now, he’s attempting to make amends as Penance, serving on Norman Osborn’s government-sanctioned Thunderbolts team. Y’see, the Penance costume contains hundreds of spikes inside the costume, as the only way to activate his powers now is through pain. And not just physical pain:
And by “working through the process,” his handlers fail to realize one extremely important loose end. Look, Baldwin’s still a teenager, who by the way have a terrible grasp of emotional control even without hundreds of murders on their hands. Understand that Penance doesn’t just blame himself for the Stamford incident — oh sure, most of it — but Penance didn’t himself explode. Nitro did. Time to make that psychopath pay.
We’re taking a look at the miniseries Penance: Relentless #1-5, written by Paul Jenkins and drawn by Paul Gulacy. Heads up, it gets dark. I’m talking stuff that would make the comics from the 1990s look like puppies and rainbows by comparison. So you know ahead of time, I’m skipping tons of stuff. You like conspiracies, master plans, betrayals, and fights with Wolverine? Well, buy the book.
Eventually, Penance figures out that Nitro’s being held prisoner by Dr. Doom in the country of Latveria. No time like the present, right?
Want to see the Penance vs. Dr. Doom fight? Sorry, still scared of fair use laws, but here’s a taste:
Now we get to the meat of the story.
Yes, Baldwin’s rash decisions caused his current state, but Nitro’s still the one who had no problem igniting next to a school in the middle of the suburbs. And as Nitro will soon find out, Penance is way stronger than Speedball.
Okay, I’ll admit it, I only included this part because I love explosions.
You figured out by now that Nitro doesn’t stand a chance. The baddie’s tough, certainly, but he was also once taken out by Daredevil, who Penance could incinerate into paste before Daredevil even got his first kick in. If you’re wondering, Wolverine cut off Nitro’s hand a few months before this.
Listen, the next part of the fight involves Penance beating the monstrous crap out of Nitro while reciting the names of those he killed. Since we’re still kind of in the aftermath of our own similar real life situation, let’s skip that part and go to the end of the fight.
I would like to think this is Penance’s anger stage of grief. Because if not, the poster boy for happy-go-lucky teenage superheroes just took a drastic turn into supervillain territory. Like stuff that makes even Magneto wince.
Fair to say Baldwin’s come a far way from his origin twenty years ago:
I know comic books rile up controversy every time anything gets too “dark,” as if it’s pandering for edginess or whatever. But from a literary standpoint, the readers need to know how deep down the cliff their character has fallen to know just how wonderful the climb up will be. Now, Nitro’s torture is certainly excessive and horrifying, especially for Penance, who a year ago fought crime with colorful bubbles.
Regardless of whether you approve of Penance’s revenge, do you see the purpose of this? He’s finally reached the bottom of the ravine. All the next steps from this point on go upwards.
Well, baby steps. In part three, we’ll get to see the end of Penance and his transformation back to Speedball. Thank god. Oh, I have no idea how he sees out of his helmet either.
Arousing Grammar 