The redemption of Magneto, Pt. 2

As we left Magneto (Erik Lehnsherr), the X-Men leader Cyclops rejected his application for membership.  To be fair to Cyclops (Scott Summers), decades of magnetic-related torture on his team can’t be washed off in a single apology.  And Magneto, well into his 80s (with the body of a forty year-old due alien mischief and whatnot), perfectly understands the situation Cylcops is in.  After all, with only 200 mutants left in the world, if Magneto plans to infiltrate Utopia and kill all the X-Men — well, you can imagine the egg on Cyclops’ face.  To prove himself to Scott, Magneto has do something extraordinary.

We pick up with the finale of our story today from Uncanny X-Men #515-522, written by Matt Fraction and drawn by Greg Land.  The master of magnetism sits in a trance atop a secluded cliff.

And what is he trying to accomplish?

We need to back up a year or so.  In Astonishing X-Men #24 and Giant-Size Astonishing X-Men #1, both written by Joss Whedon and drawn by John Cassaday, an extraterrestial supervillain lost a battle to our mutant heroes.  It happens every few issues or so, but unlike previous foes, this baddie happens to be a horribly sore loser.  Like launching a doomsday weapon on the entire Earth sore loser.

Kitty Pryde, who can phase intangibly through objects, explores the inside of a giant missile to see if she can disable it, catch a nap, whatever.  Unfortunately, it fires before she can escape.

Earth would be doomed, except for one little benefit of Kitty’s powers — anything she touches can become intangible as well.  Even city-sized bullets.

Unfortunately, as Beast pointed out, the doomsday weapon isn’t just going to turn around.  Turns out bullets usually need to hit something before they stop.  Inertia or something.

With that, Kitty Pryde disappeared from the Marvel universe, riding a metal bullet into the far reaches of space.  Until now.

I love Magneto.  The man’s the number one comic book villain for a reason, and I don’t think he has gotten the appreciation he deserves the past decade or so.  I know you’ve heard this all before, but it deserves reiteration.

Magneto’s origin story places his early years in a Nazi concentration camp, seeing firsthand the horrors of what humanity is capable of.  Plus I’m biased as a Jew myself, so any badass Jewish character gets extra attention in my book (I love you Thing).  As Erik’s goal to end mutant discrimination progresses, his ideals get darker and more twisted, essentially embracing the Nazi ideology of genetic superiority — just with mutants.  The difference between him and Professor X is that the good professor firmly believes humanity will embrace them as equals given time and knowledge.  Magneto figures instead of relying on the good graces of the masses, better to just enslave them instead of simply waiting for humanity to inevitably destroy mutantkind.  Half full versus half empty.  Professor X’s Martin Luther King Jr. versus Magneto’s Malcolm X.  Having finally realized that maybe his methods haven’t been working, Magneto can at least protect mutantkind with his other gifts — leadership ability and an insanely strong superpower.  Actually, Emma sums up Erik fairly well when comparing him to Cyclops:

Finally, the moment of redemption arrives.  Kitty’s fate rests in Magneto’s purple-energy hands.

Feels good, right?  The Internet best translates Magneto’s Yiddish as “There you are, precious.”  Sure, unforseen complications arise from her return, but none of those are Magneto’s fault.  Sadly, poor Erik has a limit to his powers, and that includes magnetically guiding magic bullets halfway across the galaxy.

Back in the day, Professor X just asked mutants to join the team; Cyclops requires far more effort and face blood.  After the stunt, Magneto falls into a coma for a few months until the end of the X-Men event Second Coming.  We quickly jump to New Mutants #14, written by Zeb Wells and drawn by Ibraim Roberson, Lan Medina, & Nathan Fox along with X-Men Legacy #237, written by Mike Carey and drawn by Greg Land.  Magneto awakens just in time to learn that robot Nimrods are about to destroy Utopia.

And these robots learn exactly what happens when you mess with Magneto.  Hint: never fight an opponent who doesn’t even take the time to put on a shirt.

As we end today, remember for that all the evil, destruction, and almost certainly future evil Magneto incites, he has not lost nor will ever lose sight of his one powerful, self-defining belief:

Character development: it’s the best part of literature.  I mean, after punching.

The redemption of Magneto, Pt. 1

For almost 50 years, Magneto terrorized the X-Men and the Marvel universe.  And I literally mean terrorized — the dude’s the poster boy for terrorists.  With all his genocidal acts and other horrible atrocities committed by him and his mutant allies, Magneto (whose current “real name” stands as Erik Lehnsherr) regrets nothing.  He holds his head high, and even as he ends his reign as a supervillain, his goals haven’t changed — just the X-Men have.

If you want a quick summary of his ideals and history, I covered it in one of my earliest articles.  As we pick up today in Uncanny X-Men #515-522, written by Matt Fraction and drawn by Greg Land, Terry Dodson, & Whilce Portacio, the X-Men have just settled into their new home — an asteroid island called Utopia off the coast of San Francisco.  Today, a guest visits:

Poor Professor X.  He gets to hang out with the X-Men, but he’s a relic of a long gone past.  With his favorite student Cyclops (Scott Summers) taking the reigns of the mutant future, Xavier’s relegated to the senile grandpa who hangs out on the porch and screams obscenities to neighbors walking their dogs.  As Magneto makes his introduction, pay close attention to how badly Cyclops shuts down his mentor.  Poor Professor X indeed.

Look, the professor has a valid point.  Remember, Professor X hasn’t forgotten that Magneto’s daughter caused the mutant decimation, turning millions of mutants worldwide into less than two hundred.  Plus, he spent his entire adult life watching Magneto battle the X-Men time and time again. It would not be completely insane that Magneto’s lying — supervillains tend to do that.

Why now for Magneto’s change of mind?  He’ll explain in a second, but what’s the biggest difference between Professor X and Cyclops (besides the laser eyes)?  Unlike the professor, Cyclops is a soldier and Magneto knows this.

If all the remaining mutants hang out on Utopia, why wouldn’t Magneto be there too?  After all, he’s always fought for mutantkind.  Y’know, just with eviler methods.

While this article doesn’t have much fighting (well, I mean there’s tons throughout the arc, but you have to buy the book for all that), even Cyclops can’t deny when considering the X-Men army alone, Magneto’s a powerful weapon to have.

All that’s left for Erik is to prove to Cyclops and the X-Men that his intentions are genuine. Unforunately, that’s a much bigger fight than tearing apart mindless monsters (and definitely buy the book to see some amazing X-Men teamwork and Fantomex love).  Luckily for Magneto, a problem looms he can fix: Utopia is sinking into the ocean.

Magneto’s made some useful friends in his supervillain career.  Like a fishy anti-hero who just recently became best friends with Dr. Doom.

To be fair to Magneto, Cyclops currently has his own set of problems, like the psychic invasion of the Sentry’s Void thingie living inside his girlfriend’s brain.  But no matter what one can say about the X-Men’s fearless leader, he’s pretty diligent about chain of command.  Oh well:

Time to inform the new boss about the exciting success.

The heavy hitters — guys like Magneto, Dr. Doom and Norman Osborn — haven’t really had “bosses” before.  Part of being a successful supervillain comes with a major dose of megalomania.  In the next scene, read carefully: both characters make valid arguments.

Magneto just learned the hard way that decades of sins can’t be washed away with one good deed. Sure, the old man executed a great idea and yes, he did save the island from sinking. Unfortunately, Magneto underestimated the man he’s clashed with since Cyclops hit puberty.  Scott leads the X-Men not because of his connections to Professor X, but because he earned the X-Men’s leadership through experience, capability, and proven success time and time again.  So if Magneto really wants a spot on the roster and Cyclops’ trust, he needs something big.  Life changing.

Fifty years of past foiled plans by the X-Men, and Magneto continued to pursue his misguided agenda after every bruising and beating.  Persistence and lofty goals certainly classify as some of his stronger traits.  Get ready, because on Friday we’ll have the finale of our story, including a heart-wrenching act over a year in the making.  How’s that for a tease?

Black Widow explains the revolving death door

Before we start today, I want to do something I haven’t done before: plug.  After my Deadpool/Kid Apocalypse article, I received word from a rapper named Kid Apocalypse who raps exclusively about comic books.  And regardless of your opinion about anything I’ve just said, shouldn’t we as a community do everything possible to support our own?  Any comic book fan attempting something new and creative with our shared passion deserves our support.  Go watch his YouTube videos, especially the first one that uses a remix of the X-Men 90s cartoon theme as his beat.  They’re professional and everything.
Kid Apocalypse – Kid Apocalypse Rising
Kid Apocalypse – Came from the Chain

Okay, let’s jump into our story today.  During any major Marvel event, major character deaths are inevitable.  We accept this, and it’s sort of fun to see if we can figure out who it’ll be before Marvel drops the press release a few days before the issue goes on sale.  During Fear Itself, Bucky Barnes (at the time wielding the Captain America mantle) died at the god-infused power of Red Skull’s daughter Sin. Sad stuff.

You know who took it the hardest?  Her name’s in the title of the article.  Bucky and Black Widow (aka Natalia Romanova) first met and fell in love as brainwashed Soviet assassins during the Cold War.  Finally reunited a year or two before Siege, the two picked up almost instantly where they left off. Y’know, until he died, and in Secret Avengers #15, written by Nick Spencer and drawn by Scot Eaton, a tabloid tries to take advantage of the situation for financial gain.

Look, I know it seems frivolous for Black Widow to crash through a trashy magazine’s window and scarily scream at the staff when major battles and wars are being fought all over the world at this exact moment.  But as I’ve said in my other Black Widow post, the superhero commanders figured that Black Widow should get some down time before her emotions endanger her and her allies in the real fight.  Good call, as you’ve just seen.  Eventually Natalia does rejoin in the final battle and even receives some cool purple swords to slice up the baddies.  Right now, though?  Bloggers need to be yelled at.

Maybe because the staff knows Black Widow’s a good guy, but they act surprisingly calm against a woman with zero superpowers who just swung in from engaging a Thor-level baddie.  Hawkeye and Black Widow don’t get enough credit for fighting alongside the Avengers when every one of their foes outpowers them.  In the middle of Natalia’s scary rant, a single reasonable point turns the tables on the entire issue.

To this young girl, why not reveal the Captain America death a hoax?  A betting man would place money on Bucky springing from the dead a few months later (and truthfully, it takes less time than that), but we always forget about the civilians populating our superhero world.  They don’t get wizards or demons or LMDs to save their slaughtered hides.

And this issue has just spurned off into a debate.  What’s worse: the constant resurrection or single finality?  While Black Widow makes her points magnificently, I would be remiss to mention she argues while sitting wildly uncomfortable on top of a desk.

Let’s say a man gets mauled from a tiger.  As soon as he leaves the hospital after months of surgery and therapy, he’s told on the hospital steps that a family of tigers now camps out inside his minivan. A pat on the back and good luck.  No wonder superheroes’ mental stability cracks against the smallest of pebbles.

Rebuttal:

Like a roundhouse kick to the throat, Black Widow incapacitates her opponent’s rhetoric.  Or not, depending on how you personally feel.

Both sides can be effectively persuasive.  Though at the core, we’re still talking about fictional characters that wear sparkly costumes and shoot fire from their hands.  It took me many reads to understand the final pages of this issue, but I think this sums up the whole debate appropriately:

Moment of honesty: I’ve erased and rewritten this paragraph three times now.  I’m having difficulty articulating my assumption of Spencer’s point.  He may desire this woman to comment on the deity-like abilities of these superheroes to watch and protect the helpless, even as they selflessly and (more importantly) endlessly sacrifice their bodies and minds in their struggle against the hordes of evil.  He could also be breaking the fourth wall and commenting on the motivational impact these characters have on the reader’s own life as pillars for the downtrodden, ignored, and abused to aspire towards.  I really don’t know, but I believe I can confidently say this: we call them “heroes” for a reason.  Fictional drawings on paper aside, we should appreciate and embrace positive role models in any format.  We can acknowledge that, right?

I mean, that and all those cool punches and explosions.

Quicksilver: equally amazing and dysfunctional

I’ll admit a secret: I rooted for the Avengers during the Marvel event Avengers vs. X-Men.  In the past, my appreciation for the X-Men tends to be far less reliable and deep than my adoration for Captain America and his gang of misfits.  But with this website, I’ve had to read hundreds of issues of series, characters, and teams I never experienced before.  It’s awesome, you should try it.  Through my “research,” I’m now totally on board with America’s favorite mutants.  The depth, complexity, and long-lasting cultural impact of the X-Men and their stories have been sorely missing in my life.  A hole in my heart repaired itself as I delved into the enormous backlog of X-Men adventures.  But enough about me.  Let’s talk about Quicksilver.

Debuting in X-Men #4 back in 1964, written by Stan Lee and drawn by Jack Kirby, Pietro Maximoff (Quicksilver) and his sister Wanda (Scarlet Witch) briefly fought the X-Men as Magneto’s lackies:

Soon after this, they became Avengers.  It took twenty years for the truth to be revealed that they’re actually Magneto’s biological children.  As you can imagine, Magneto’s parenting skills rank slightly lower than complete neglect and slightly higher than bathtub murder.  The master of magnetism spent most of his time being evil and stuff, and thus he totally messed up his kids.  Way worse than Toddlers and Tiaras.

Today, we’re going to start with a scene from House of M #7, written by the amazing team of Brian Michael Bendis and drawn by Olivier Coipel.  While Quicksilver’s basically a rip-off of DC’s Flash, his sister can control and change reality through chaos magic and manipulation.  Like a genie or something, I guess.  In House of M, Scarlet Witch’s powers became overwhelming, forcing the Avengers and gang to decide how to best solve this problem.  Wolverine volunteered stabbing.  To protect herself, Magneto suggested Scarlet Witch create an alternative reality where everyone sings songs on the street and dances to show tunes.  But you know how alternative realities are, and things turned bad.  Oh, and the whole Magneto suggesting thing?  That’s not exactly true either:

To be fair to Magneto, empathy has never been one of his strongest traits.  Luckily, Quicksilver knows a way to save dear Wanda from a Wolverine stabbing.

As the House of M event unraveled into brawling and disorder, the anger directed at Magneto slowly revealed itself as misplaced.  Magneto’s little empire fell apart through Quicksilver’s meddling and lies. While I’m not a parent myself, Quicksilver probably needs a spanking.  A Magneto spanking:

The consequences?  Magneto smushing his son with a giant piece of steel spawned the three most infamous words in recent Marvel history.  You know them:

Because Scarlet Witch can basically reshape reality to her specifications, that whole “No more mutants” phrase took a mutant population of millions and turned it into hundreds.  Jubilee had to become a vampire.  All blame and finger pointing should be directed at Quicksilver.

A year or so later, Quicksilver sits in a local prison, now pretty much mentally unstable.  In the X-Factor: The Quick and the Dead one-shot, written by Peter David and Pablo Raimondi, poor Pietro talks to a half dozen or so hallucinations.  The guy needs serious therapy.  Here’s the one with the imaginary Magneto:

While Quicksilver made some questionable decisions in the past decade or so, the man’s still defined as a superhero — not a villain.  Once he finally grasps the whole mistakes/move on thing, he can get back to his true loves: heroism and his sister (but not in the Ultimate universe way — eww).

That smile shines through, even on his severely battered face.  I totally understand the idea that darker, sadder stories tend to sell more copies than happy, lighthearted stories.  But when as we readers devote years to following the tales of our favorite heroes, we certainly hope they achieve at least some success and joy in their fictional lives.  Hell, Marvel practically sent out a press release when Mark Waid announced he planned to actually let Daredevil win once in a while after the previous hundred and thirty-ish issues of non-stop gloom and doom.

Iron Man would have chartered a jet home for the girl, but let Pietro take baby steps.  Saving lives instead of horrendously ruining them takes practice.  And just to further enforce my point of Quicksilver’s cool(-itude?), enjoy this scene from Thunderbolts #143, written by Jeff Parker and Miguel Sepulveda.

Summary of the events so far: supervillain stole a super spear.

Mr. X, the psychopath with minor telepathy who knows what his opponents will do before they do it, stands moments away from slaughtering the Mighty Avengers and Amadeus Cho, Hercules’ BFF. I mean, until our dear Pietro shows up.  Though Mr. X remains a minor character, his ego and arrogance soar far above his more popular opponents.  That’s what makes this upcoming beating so satisfying.

Delightful, right?  If you want more of the guy, he becomes a teacher in the Avengers Academy series that premieres soon after this issue.  And check out issue #22.  That one’s a Quicksilver/Magneto doozy.

Deadpool, Apocalypse’s hero

You know Apocalypse, right?  One of the biggest X-Men baddies, super crazy powerful, rules a tyrannical hopeless alternative future, shows up to beat down entire groups of X-Men singlehandedly? There’s a kid version of him, and this one’s definitely not as scary.

Long story short: Apocalypse gets cloned as a child with happy memories as a social experiment/guilt trip to see if the supervillain’s fated to be evil and bloodthirsty.  In Uncanny X-Force #32-35, written by Rick Remender and drawn by Phil Noto, with the experiment still in progress, poor Kid Apocalypse gets snatched by Wolverine’s son Daken with a van full of candy and Playstations. It’s time for the more amoral X-Men to get the kid back.  And massacre all the bad guys.  But mainly the first one.

One of the few times to see Deadpool being inspirational, and more importantly, correctly influencing the life of a child.  Also, the white costume’s pretty cool, right?  At this time, Deadpool lost his healing factor, making him doubly brave/stupid.

I’m not going to show you the full fight, as it’s irrelevant to the story and I want you to buy the book, but Deadpool takes on three top-class supervillains by himself.  It’s awesome.

Y’see, this whole ordeal is about the supervillains attempting to make Kid Apocalypse voluntarily wear his original’s armor.  If the clone dons the Apocalypse armor (aptly named), even the preteen can fight on a galactic-ly powerful scale and at the same time almost certainly ensure the young child follows his fated path to super evil.  Tough choice.

Poor Deadpool lies in a bloody mess on the floor until Apocalypse is returned to the room — same as before just with a lot more stab wounds.

Deadpool’s rhetoric ability aside, there was really not much the half-dead mercenary could do to stop this whole mess.  Fate, hormones, anger — all that jazz.  But understand this, at Apocalypse’s lowest emotional point, Deadpool never gave up on him.  For what the counts.

We skip ahead to the epilogue, though go read the book for all the cool Apocalypse action.

Deadpool’s most basic desire to be respected and loved by the Marvel universe remains one of the most common themes in his series.  None of the superheroes really find the guy entertaining.  Plus, he’s too unpredictable, morally bankrupt, unpleasant to look at, etc.  But with Kid Apocalypse?  You just saw a genuine moment — a moment in Deadpool’s life that isn’t insincere, but heartfelt love and respect.  All the man has ever wanted given to him by the most powerful child in the Marvel universe.

Well, that and Deadpool picks out great gifts.

Life questions with Thor

There’s no punching today.  Instead, we’re going to discuss a single inquiry asked of our god of thunder. Enjoy a beautifully done, well-crafted moment, and understand any answers I attempt to give will in no way be properly articulated.  But that shouldn’t stop us from trying.  In the mini-series Thor: Heaven & Earth, wonderfully written by Paul Jenkins and drawn by Pascual Alixe, Thor and gang go on little missions filled with just as much violence as intellectualism.  In issue #3, we’re faced with this heartbreaking situation:

Before you get suspicious, that’s not exactly Thor’s buddy from World War II or whatever conflict he hammered bad guys in the past.  When you’re thousands of years old and live in a magical dimension, it’s easy to teleport down to any big deal from history.  Nope, this old man did the impossible: he stumped a god.

Everything starts after a big brawl in New York.

Thor walks triumphantly back to his flamboyant bridge home.

What a fantastic concept!  Superheroes are from all sorts of insane origins, but we accept that they live in a world very much like ours.  It shouldn’t surprise us that the there’s organized religion or that Christianity still plays a major role in the lives of many New York citizens.  Yet they all just witnessed this very non-Catholic deity smash monsters with a hammer.  How could a priest explain this to his congregation while still holding steadfast in his own religious beliefs?

Look, no one’s claiming Thor’s a genius.  The guy’s gallant, heroic, and chivalrous — but no spelling bee championships will be coming his way.  And thus, his thought process remains honest and simple at its core:

But a shrug and tough-luck pat on the shoulder won’t work.  As this priest lies on his deathbed four years after this initial meeting, Thor can only come to one conclusion.

Sometimes it’s hard for readers to sympathize or relate to Thor.  The guy’s practically invincible and if he does die, he’ll be resurrected almost immediately.  Plus, he has Hulk-level strength without the moral responsibility that makes other characters like Superman so beloved.  So while I can’t possibly explain in the detail or manner I wish, I do believe Thor’s answer explains better than anything else about why this god of thunder truly defines a superhero.

As cliched as it sounds, it’s the flaws that define our heroes, not the triumphs.  In this single moment, Thor has shown his humanity that we may not have seen much of in the past.  The personal struggles are what creates three-dimensional characters we can root for and grow alongside with.  Remember Iron Man’s alcoholism?  Captain America’s man out of time?  Hulk’s lack of control?  When we add Thor’s questions of identity and purpose, he is objectively a better character.

And I do mean objectively.  Plus, he has that cool hammer.

Inner monologues of the X-Men

Who doesn’t love the idea of X-Men?  Society loves underdog stories, especially those involving The Man and discrimination.  Y’know, only with dudes who can chuck fireballs out of their palms. Unfortunately, all that irrational hatred by the townfolk brings up major unresolved issues among our brave heroes.  Bad enough they have to fight Magneto every other month, but the X-Men aren’t even patted on the back when they save our world for the umpteenth time.  I’m not a scientist, but maybe the X-Men have retained readers’ popularity because they all desperately need therapy.  Or fireball hands.  One of the two.

In X-Men: Manifest Destiny #1-5, the main story written by Mike Carey and drawn by Michael Ryan, the mutants had just resettled in San Francisco after a horrible series of tragedies.  You can Wikipedia it for more details.  But while their lives have started anew, their insecurities and trauma haven’t faded in the slightest.  The main story involves the aftermath of Iceman and Mystique’s relationship/battle:

We’re going to skip that story.  Go buy the book.  But at the end of each issue, two short stories present themselves, each focused on a different X-Men.  Today, we’re going to look at “Flaw,” written by Chris Yost and drawn by Paco Diaz, and “Work It Out,” written by James Asmus and drawn by Takeshi Miyazawa.

First up, Emma Frost.

Okay, two things to understand before we proceed.  First, you’re witnessing a vulnerable moment for dear Emma.  Second, that never ever happens.  The woman’s made a career on unwavering ego and insanely powerful psychic abilities.  Starting out as a scantily clad supervillain, she’s earned her place as the scantily clad co-leader of the X-Men.  Trust me, that’s quite a jump.

By the way, Kitty (Katherine) Pryde’s assumed dead after she sacrificed herself by making an Earth-sized bullet intangible.  Long story.  More importantly, Emma’s fears aren’t terribly far off base.  She’s wildly unlikable, intensely arrogant, and has a terrible track record.  Also, Cyclops cheated on Jean Grey with her.  It’s only a matter of time before poor Emma snaps.

Wolverine meets her by the pier to discuss that weirdly awkward moment you just experienced.

I love nothing more that after the Marvel events Schizm and AvX, Wolverine currently stands as the moral center of the X-Men.  Cyclops turned villain.  Emma Frost fights alongside him.  Professor X killed.  Wolverine remains the sole leader attempting to bring the professor’s vision of peace and unity to fruition.  Insane notion.

Anyway, Nightcrawler:

If you aren’t up to date on X-Men history, Nightcrawler’s currently dead.  Killed while protecting Hope, the mutant savior and all that jazz.  This takes place before that.

I love the idea of a superhero struggling to find his place in the superhero world.  The search for identity and purpose always make fantastic, emotional stories.

Hawkeye and Nightcrawler actually have a fair bit in common.  Especially after the next page:

For the Avengers, Hawkeye has certainly questioned his place a time or two.  I mean, he’s a normal guy with good aim fighting alongside geniuses, super soldiers, and actual gods.  How can he possibly contribute on the same level as the Hulk?  Nightcrawler faces the same dilemma.  His role on the team is better filled by another mutant and the X-Men only have so many uses for a world-class cartwheeler.  Comics have always been more than just punching.  Fighting self-doubt and inadequacies take up half the issues of most superheroes, and that’s part of the reason why comics appeal to the demographic that reads them.

One step at a time.  Even for mutants.

Punisher and the Sentry chase

When Norman Osborn replaced Nick Fury as America’s top cop, our beloved superheroes immediately knew steps needed to be taken to remove this supervillain from power.  Some tried speeches and sabotage.  Others tried more conventional methods:

Today, we’re jumping right into the first few pages of Punisher #1, volume 7, written by Rick Remender and drawn by Jerome Opena.  As you’ve probably realized, Norman Osborn won’t get assassinated at the beginning of his reign.  And to be fair, in a superpowered world, the Punisher realizes that every mission he undergoes could backfire in every possible way.  That’s why he’s survived for so long as a normal dude with guns and bullets.  Unfortunately, this backfire has dire consequences.

That’s the Sentry.  Think of him as Marvel’s Superman, just with schizophrenia and none of the respect Superman gets.  He literally has the power of a milli0n suns.  Frank Castle’s screwed.

Seriously, the Sentry might as well be a god.  Let the Punisher fight a tidal wave with just his fists. The Punisher, being the master tactician he is, makes the only possible choice.

If you don’t read many Punisher stories, Castle doesn’t really do much talking.  Noir narrating?  You get that out the wazoo, just not a ton of dialogue.  And he does bring up a good point.  Both superheroes and supervillains love to talk.  Love to argue or reveal.  Love to insult or banter.  Love to lecture or humiliate.  And luckily for the Punisher, that love saved his life — for a few more seconds.

Ow.  We know punches to the face are excruciating, but impalement by loose construction? Someone is going to be peeing blood for next month or so.  Still, you must admire Castle for not breaking his stride after a pipe goes through half his body.

I understand superbeings like Sentry taking their time with goons like the Punisher.  It’s almost cute to see how badly the prey scrambles to escape.  Maybe the Sentry’s just confused that Castle actually thinks he can get away.  Trust me, there’s not a hero alive who doesn’t know what the Sentry is capable of.  Million suns and all that.

Ironically, no one takes more punishment in comics than the Punisher.  I imagine if he takes off his shirt, his whole upper body has just turned into one giant scar.  Time to bust out that trump card before Osborn’s attack dog flays him alive.

You know Castle doesn’t kill innocents.  Sure, he tortures and brutally murders bad guys, but all the lovely law-abiding folks have nothing to fear.  Sort of qualifications for being a superhero.  But if the Punisher knows the Sentry can reach and diffuse the bomb in time?  The game changes.

At the end of the Marvel event Siege, the Sentry finally met his defeat.  Though it did take the entire Marvel roster of superheroes plus a dropped SHIELD Helicarrier.  And the Punisher outran this monster.  Not bad for a Vietnam vet.

Tigra’s vengeance on the Hood

Fresh off my illness shipwreck, I figured we should sail back to shore with a good ol’ fashioned investigation.  I’ve wanted to do a Tigra article for a while, and finally I can declare that I have proof the supervillain the Hood may very well be Tigra’s arch-nemesis. Which honestly, is more impressive for Tigra than the Hood.  Let me explain.

Debuting in 1972, Greer Grant Nelson fought minor baddies for a few years as The Cat, who was mainly like DC’s Catwoman but without the whip and Batman fetish.  A few years later, she got zapped by a radiation gun.  To save her life, the Cat People (pretty much as you think) gave her an amulet that turned Greer into Tigra, the legendary defender of furries everywhere.  Now she has superhuman strength, agility, stamina, etc.  And despite you aggressively about to click away from this article, understand that Tigra has wonderfully evolved into a complex and interesting character far beyond any potential stereotype.

Her policeman husband was shot and killed.  Totally a conspiracy, too.  In response, she retreated deep into a crime-fighting distraction.  Nowadays, like She-Hulk, she loves her alternative self far more than her civilian identity, rarely if ever changing back into human form.  But let’s be fair — she’s literally a cat lady, and she knows it.  Let Greer explain herself:

Seriously, who could not have an inferiority complex when fighting alongside Thor?  Still, gotta keep those streets safe, which leads to her single most superhero-defining moment in her entire comic lifespan.

So I don’t have to type each one as we go, in order, here’s a list of the issues I’m using today:
Tigra #4, written by Christina Z and drawn by Mike Deodato
New Avengers #35, written by Brian Michael Bendis and drawn by Leinil Yu
Avengers: The Initiative #26, written by Christos N. Gage and drawn by Rafa Sandoval
Avengers: The Initiative #31, written by Christos N. Gage and drawn by Rafa Sandoval
Avengers: The Initiative #35, written by Christos N. Gage and drawn by Jorge Molina
Avengers Academy #8, written by Christos N. Gage and drawn by Mike McKone

We start off with Tigra breaking up a robbery attempt by the Punisher’s insane arch-nemesis:

Normally, the supervillain Jigsaw would go back to prison and Tigra would pat herself on the back. Evening well spent.  Except at this exact moment, the Hood is attempting to create his supervillain crime gang, and Tigra gets to be an example.  I’ve written about the Hood (Parker Robbins) a few times already.  Using his demonic cape and some magical enhancements from Loki, the Hood gets to join a danger category equal to other great magicians like Dr. Strange and Brother Voodoo.  But y’know, evil.

Unfortunately, to win over the trust and respect of the New York City super goons, the Hood has to prove that any superheroes who dare mess with his gang will get a punishment far worse than scrapes and bruises.

I would be remiss not to mention that this scene we’re in the middle of has its fair share of controversy.  Fans of Tigra firmly believe that her character is written horribly — she would never act the way she does here.  Others see it as Bendis using a random female superhero as a victim to showcase the Hood’s vicious capability (as his reign starts in this issue).  My opinion?  From a story standpoint, though certainly severe, I think this made Tigra’s character far more fascinating and prevalent than she would otherwise be today.

This single torturous act defines Tigra’s life for the next four years.  She soon joins the Avengers Initiative project as an instructor and even begins dating Hank Pym, a founding Avenger.  Not bad, right?  But as the Hood grips tighter onto his title of crime boss of New York, Tigra hasn’t forgotten what he did to her.  Not one bit.

Greer may have a legitimate reason to act the way she does, but she’s always had a temper problem. Thus begins a good ten issue revenge plot where she and her group of do-gooders would ambush and savagely beat the Hood’s henchmen.

We love the “edgier” superheroes, but Ultra-Girl’s right and we all know it.  The reason we love superheroes in the first place is their ability to rise above and be morally superior to the criminals they fight.  After the Hood suffers an embarrassing loss and capture by the Avengers when the Marvel event Siege concludes, Tigra finally receives that one-on-one she desperately seeks.

Oh yeah, did you know Tigra has a child?  It’s a half-cat, half-Hank Pym kid.

You see, we all figure that her confrontation and moral victory over the Hood would be the end of this little tale.  Now she remains a shining light of hope for superheroes everywhere.  Except that’s not really how PTSD works.  While she’s teaching at the Avengers Academy a year or so after this, that initial video of Tigra’s beating and humiliation by the Hood hits the Internet, forcing her to address it. Which she does, in the absolutely most perfect superhero way she can.

As happy an ending as this kind of story can get.