Hal Jordan, the ring-less Green Lantern

Bruce Wayne out of the Batman suit is a world class martial artist, brilliant tactical mind, and intellectual genius.  Really, the only difference between Wayne and Batman is that Batman makes criminals wet their shorts when he lands from a twelve story skyscraper and punches them in the throat.  But Jordan without his ring becomes simply an above average brawler. Sure, he still has no fear and all that, but a bomber jacket isn’t a weapon that can create anything in the world.  And today, he learns that lesson the hard way in Green Lantern #14-17, written by Geoff Johns and drawn by Ivan Reis.

Let’s start with a story.  A story coated in a very heavy green pen:

Jordan’s refusal to wear his ring while flying has been brought up before in pretty much every Green Lantern origin story from every medium.  Something about the ring being a safety net when he’d rather have that danger.  The same attitude that attracted the ring to him in the first place also definitely hinders his own superheroism.  He should know that something near him will bound to be blown up every other issue or so.  I’m just saying Wayne would have hidden a lock pick in his cheek and he’d have sewn a blowtorch into his own ribs just in case he gets himself into this exact situation.

Bad guys always underestimate superheroes, even superheroes currently powerless and in chains and who they have no idea is actually a superhero.  Jordan can’t fight like Wonder Woman, but he has spent the past decade or two pummeling aliens far bigger, stronger, and meaner than any Chechnyan terrorist organization.  Ring or not, he’s still Green Lantern, gosh darn it.

To be fair to Jordan, wearing the ring would have been like Clark Kent always sporting the cape.  It’s pretty much a dead giveaway.  I guess gloves at all time?  Fighter pilots could pull off that fashion faux pas.  Anyway, as grudges never die and smiles during tragic nostalgia typically mean either a hidden secret or the Joker, Jordan gets sent on a rescue mission.

I said Jordan, but I meant Green Lantern.  Remember the first few pages of torture and helpless struggle?  If only he’d brought the ring, right?

Ever wonder why Superman doesn’t spend a lot of time intervening in third world countries that desperately need his help?  Besides Luthor launching robots on Metropolis twice a week? International politics, man.  Superman, being an American citizen, has to walk a tricky line to avoid creating international conflicts.  Like say, if Green Lantern burst into Chechnya without authorization and blew up a few bases.  The Russian government may not look too fondly on the American superhero.  Not fondly at all.

Could it get worse?  Oh my goodness, yes.

Unfortunately for you, Green Lantern vs. the Global Guardians vs. the Justice League deters from the focus of my article today.  Buy the book — the battles make it worth your time.  But as I skip ahead a few issues, we learn that rescuing damsels in distress using the universe’s most powerful weapon tends to be far more effective than fists and a pistol.

While this actually marks the half way point of the arc, the midpoint still creates a warm inner feeling.

Even though the actual ending’s beautiful and bittersweet, for now (and literally the next panel is an explosion) the vengeful heart can finally rest — I guess until you turn the page.

Green Arrow & Batman pal around, Pt. 2

When we left off, our two heroes (the ones in the title of the article) faced down each other’s supervillain.  Green Arrow gets to break a bow over Red Hood while Batman deals with the rocky, toasty Brick.

I admire Red Hood, because fighting in a leather jacket really lessens maneuverability.  Though despite it looking super cool, he’s also about to brawl with a man who doesn’t wear sleeves, so the fashion victory lays at his feet from the start.  I’m not going to show you the entire fight, but enough so you get an idea.  Batman and Green Arrow are Justice League members after all.

Danny Brickwell, currently known as the Star City kingpin Brick, has metahuman superpowers that give him some level of invulnerability and super strength.  While not trained by Batman/League of Assassins like the verbose Red Hood, Brick still enters the battlefield as a formidabble opponent. Even against the Dark Knight, who would like to cross beat-up-guy-with-dreadlocks off his bucket list.

We’re missing somebody.  Remember Speedy, the young teenage female sidekick?  While she would have loved to help smother Red Hood with her mentor, something else grabbed her attention — that annoying superhero obligation that always pops up in worst case scenarios.

Unfortunately for dear Mia, it gets even worse.

Red Hood possesses some major personality flaws.  Like pettiness.  So despite coming here to further solidify his drug empire, a secondary goal popped up.  One that’ll serve mainly to infuriate the old-timers and rattle the youngsters, because nothing makes Jason Todd happier than the indignation of the Justice League.  Oh, and now Batman and Green Arrow revert back to their normal status quo:

The two argue in warehouses, alleyways, rooftops, etc. — really anywhere stained with henchmen blood.  Sidekicks, I believe created for child reader fantasies and to give superheroes someone to talk to, undergoes a never-ending debate of boredom, frustration, and all sorts of awful emotions.  Batman has ten year-olds wearing brightly colored tights uppercutting adults.  It took the Dark Knight fifty years just to give Robin pants.  And Green Arrow?  Besides letting his sidekick actually call himself Speedy, his buddy had the lucky honor of being chosen to participate in DC’s anti-drug campaign a few decades ago.  We move on.  Also, Green Arrow and Batman can totally inflict non-physical wounds as well.

As for Speedy?  Red Hood just wants to chat.  Unfortunately for supervillains, chatting has to be activity that takes place inbetween trying to murder each other.

If you haven’t read Mia Dearden’s Wikipedia page or aren’t caught up on Green Arrow comics, Red Hood’s reveals her biggest, darkest secret.  I mean, it’s been told like a half dozen times before this, but now you can be in this obscure trivia club as well.

Writer and director Kevin Smith introduced Mia about seventy issues beforehand.  Winick, who eventually took over the series, figured that if Mia spent her teenage years as a drug-addled prostitute, well, that may come with some consequences.  As comics fans, we’re more accepting of Martians and Amazons than those with STDs.  And Martians are green and stuff.  So bring on the HIV-positive characters, I’m 100% serious — nothing speeds along diversity like flooding the market.  How about Aquaman?  What about a miniseries involving a rough night with a sketchy mermaid?

To be fair to Batman and Green Arrow, I believe the pulling kids off the street stuff plays more into giving down-on-their-luck kids a chance to become something wonderful and great instead of another bad guys they’ll have knee in the face one day.  But Red Hood’s also a bit unstable, like justifying his evil actions as a means to an end instead of a several year adventure to make Bruce Wayne cry.

The issue ends fairly anti-climatically, but that’s just one more way for Red Hood to anger his former mentor — taking away that wonderful feeling of closure.

Good stuff planned for Monday!  Do something great this weekend!

Green Arrow & Batman pal around, Pt. 1

And by pal around I mean grimace and yell at each other.  Green Arrow has a reputation for being snarky and difficult to work with, and Batman puts his desire for politeness right next to his desire to make out with Commissioner Gordon.  We can agree that they’re probably friends, and their lack of superpowers certainly bonds them in some way.  But I have a feeling that Batman would just prefer if everyone around him shuts up, making noise only to quietly golf clap every time a batarang pierces a henchman’s head.

Today, our adventure in Green Arrow’s hometown Star City takes place in Green Arrow #69-72, written by Judd Winick and drawn by Scott McDaniel.  One of Batman’s baddies touched down in the area, and our Dark Knight arrives to collect the missing piece of his rogues gallery.  That and to give away crazy amounts of money.

Recognize that handsome mayor?  The one in the blond goatee?  Mayor Oliver Queen, who secretly patrols the city in a bright green Robin Hood outfit at night as Green Arrow, also serves as the city’s highest political force.  Though he does wear a small mask, so no one can tell his secret identity while he leaps rooftops and smacks dudes with boxing glove arrows.

My DC history pales in comparison to my Marvel knowledge.  I’m sort of ashamed, and that also means I don’t actually know what Batman did to save Green Arrow’s fair city.  Though if someone mentions Batman rescuing millions of people from a massive danger, I’m cool with that.  No proof or further details necessary — no need for suspension of disbelief here.

Unfortunately, the real reason for Batman’s arrival has to do with his one of his trickiest and meanest supervillains — one that holds grudges from the moment Superboy Prime punched so hard that he shattered reality and a young boy awoke in his coffin.

You probably already know Red Hood’s real name Jason Todd, the second Robin and current supervillain — though in the New 52, he’s evolved more into an anti-hero like a sort of lovable Punisher. Judd Winick, who writes this story, also wrote the arc Under the Hood, which brought Todd back from the dead in the first place.  If anyone has an accurate description of how the revived evil Todd should act and talk, it’s Winick.  Story-wise, Red Hood teams up with local crime boss Brick.

Not to be left out, Green Arrow has his own sidekick as well.  Mia Dearden, going by the superhero name Speedy — a name I believe came about as the original Speedy claimed he shot his bow faster than his boss and certainly not as the least threatening superhero name in comics — lives up to the normal sidekick origin story requirements.  She’s seventeen, orphaned, use to live on the streets, possesses a natural aptitude for roundhouse kicking crime, etc.  Meet Speedy:

She’s made a joke so chilly that you could feel your own body temperature drop as you read it.  Most importantly, she committed the most egregious of superhero mistakes — she made herself a fool in front of Batman.  I imagine when the Dark Knight pops up to aid your crime watch, the thought is less “thank god” and more “dammit, now I have to be perfect.”  Batman judges.  Batman never makes errors.  Batman only glares and criticizes.  Why do you think every Robin that pops out of his teenage kung fu immersion camp comes out as a total badass?  No choice when their mentor is the epitome of human capability.  Physically and mentally.  And he expects everyone who would wears that red and green underwear beside him to be the exact same way, no matter how recently Robin hit puberty.

Superheroes tend to make fairly terrible parents.  Late night work schedule, mandatory emotional problems, constant explosions every time they walk outside, etc.  And while Batman certainly tries his best despite his faults, he didn’t do a fantastic job with Jason Todd.  I mean, Green Arrow isn’t exactly great either, but at least he doesn’t have to pretend to know what affection feels like.

Anyway, the three of them round up information the usual way — gossip spreads when Batman villains step onto streets outside Gotham.  And by gossip, I’m talking about pee from the shorts of any local thugs who spot them.

It sucks to fight an enemy trained by Batman.  It totally sucks.

The battle finally begins.  Lots of fighting and philosophy on Friday!  I’m just as excited as you are!

Superman’s birthday (the famous one)

Out of the 260ish articles I’ve written so far, only about ten or so are from pre-2000.  It’s not bias or lack of interest, but I started reading comics in early 2000 so my knowledge tends to start there.  But with hundreds of thousands of issues of comic books released before then, where does one possibly start to get caught up?  Well, the classics don’t hurt — Watchmen, The Dark Knight Returns, Chris Claremont’s Uncanny X-Men run, etc. etc.  I could go on for paragraphs about the few hundred issues that stand out above the rest.  And they do so for a reason.  So while I decided to brush up on some of the more well-known comics, I found one that rocked my world: Superman Annual #11, written by Alan Moore and drawn by Dave Gibbons.

It’s Superman’s birthday and his pals stop by the Fortress of Solitude to drop off some gifts!  The Justice League cartoon made a very good recreation of this comic in an episode titled “For the Man Who Has Everything.”  Today, let’s enjoy the surprise party gone bad together, but first, how about an alternative Kryptonian birthday for dear Kal-El?

Ah, the beauty of Superman’s future if Krypton never exploded.  A loving family man, living that normal life of no superpowers and no secret identities.  It’s nice to see what could be.  Though, the real world has some perks as well:

Most fans know Jason Todd as a former Robin turned supervillain turned anti-hero Red Hood, but many of us are simply too young to have ever read anything of him as the actual Robin.  Well, here you go.  Go brag to your friends.  Unfortunately, Superman’s a bit  busy to properly receive his guests.

For lack of a better explanation, think of Mongul as a yellow Darkseid.  The supervillain possesses Superman-level strength and durability along with that arrogant alien warlord demeanor we expect from bad guys.  He first premiered five years before this in DC Comics Presents #27, written by Len Wein and drawn by Jim Starlin & others.  In the next issue, we get his origin, which I present to you:

Poor space Hitlers, always looking for new aliens to conquer.  Why can’t the common people realize how good they have it being oppressed and brutalized?  Mongul, never one for giving up, figures that Earth should be as good as spot as any, with its thousands of superheroes flying around.  Though his tastes do remain eccentric, as two decades from now, his son attempts to rule the Sinestro Corps (if you want to see two space Hitlers punch each other).

Can you guess who volunteers first?  Hint: she’s the baddest, toughest warrior not currently attached to a space plant.

Yes, that last panel also turned me on.  But as Batman and Robin attempt to save Superman, the success of the Dynamic Duo also means the destruction of Superman’s fantasy he believes he’s spent the last thirty years living.

Of course Batman, as the world’s greatest detective, solves the evil plant problem (pulling really hard). Though sometimes with superhero victory comes superhero sacrifice.

Put Batman’s fantasy aside (which is equally heartbreaking).  Look, Superman gets angry when you shoot him with acid or launch rockets at him, but his rage can’t compare to when you essentially kill his family in a false reality based entirely on his hopes and dreams.  Because when you rip open Superman’s heart, he strikes back with every ounce of his insane amount of power.

We love Superman because he holds back — a man with his kind of strength choosing to only use a fraction of it.  Self-control is expected in our superheroes, such as them not killing even under the worst of situations.  But though I love superheroes as our betters (physically and morally), nothing’s more satisfying than Superman “letting go.”  The man with the power of a god using his full god-like powers.  More importantly, Mongul deserves it.

That “Burn.” panel gets included in many lists as one of Superman’s most famous moments.  You wonder why Batman keeps vials of kryptonite littered around his Batcave?  Because my goodness, the Man of Steel is pants-wetting scary when he wants to be.

Because face smashing doesn’t seem to be slowing down Mongul’s assault, Robin saves the day. Yes, Robin.  He has to use his brains to defeat opponents, because all the kung fu training in the world can’t make up for the fact that he’s a preteen.

Can we all be thankful that comic’s greatest hero’s fantasy is a family?  Because when you consider some of the alternative fantasies, the sea of blood overflows like a blood tsunami breaking a dam made of blood.

And so am I.  We should all read more of the classics.

Wonder Woman (with monkeys and Nazis)

Wonder Woman can totally take Superman in a fight.  She’s just about as strong, just about as fast, and a far better hand-to-hand fighter.  Plus, she doesn’t have that wussy kryptonite weakness.  Only way to take down the Amazonian princess is with a good ol’ fashioned brawl against a woman who just so happens to also carry a sword, shield, whip, spear, bow, battleaxe, battle corset, ninja tiara, gauntlets.  I bet even her fingernails are sharp and pointy.  Plus, she can fly.  Sure, superheroes like Batman are scary and resourceful, but no one’s as dangerous in the DC universe as Wonder Woman.

Speaking of wonder women, today’s article (Wonder Woman #14-17, volume three, drawn by Terry Dodson & Ron Randall) is written by Gail Simone, who I absolutely adore.  Young girls seeking role models in the comic book industry need not search any further.  Check out her run on Deadpool, her current run on Batgirl, her masterpiece Secret Six (Bane!), among many others.  She’s three issues into Red Sonja too.  You deserve to treat yourself.  I know I don’t hype other writers as much, but the amazing female comic book writers really deserve more of the spotlight than they receive.  You know what?  Let’s devote this week to female writers.  Kathryn Immonen on Wednesday then!

Our story begins today as all good ones do: Wonder Woman fighting an ape army.

Look, while Superman has to be kind, merciful, and generous — he’s the moral center of the comic book world after all — no such precedent exists for Wonder Woman.  That she chooses to be kind, merciful, and generous says more about her right as a superhero than her upbringing or moral code.  I mean, she was brought up to impale and skewer her enemies.  She’s very good at it.  What makes Wonder Woman inspirational lies not with her superpowers, but with her desire to hold back those same superpowers.  Though I always wished she wore pants.

While in the New 52, Diana, princess of Themyscira and current God of War, possesses no need for a secret identity, she totally donned glasses and a hair tie for undercover purposes the previous decade. Meet Diana Prince, secret agent and hoarder of talking monkeys.

So you know who’s a bad guy you might not have known existed?

I’ve always loved Nazis as literary villains.  Writers don’t need any ominous exposition or bubbling evil labs when Nazis get introduced.  We as readers are already completely on board with Nazis getting their butts kicked.  Still, DC universe Nazis get ambitious.  Mythically ambitious.

I know before you’ve never expressed a desire for an Amazon vs. Nazi war, but right now, how could you want anything else, including food and shelter?  Before that, remember what a badass Wonder Woman is?  Here’s a reminder:

This battle also ends with mercy towards the bad captain, because Wonder Woman’s a better person than us.  Back on Themyscira, how do the technologically superior Nazis fare against the Amazons? Once they get past the ambushes, I mean.

All kinds of ambushes.

We know how this war’ll play out.  As well and inventive as the Amazons fight, they’ll need their superhero.  The one whose name is in the title of the series.  Banned or not, Wonder Woman knows that no fascist boots will ever permanently touch down on Amazonian soil.  For glory and Anne Frank!

Buy the issues for the entire Nazis vs. Battle Apes brawl.  Now, if you’ve read this arc before, you know I’ve been skipping out on a wildly important side plot.  Many years ago, Hippolyta’s (Wonder Woman’s mother and queen of Themyscira) personal bodyguards tried to kill baby Diana (who would bring about Amazonian destruction).  Their reasons, while delusional, are fleshed out beautifully over the four issues.  But I’m only going to show you this:

Y’see, after Diana takes out the Nazis (and she does), the four former prisoners/guards and current Nazi collaborators still stand in her way of victory.  But first, even to Nazis, Wonder Woman stays her hand — because once again, she’s better than you in every way.

Our finale has arrived!  To save her mother, can Wonder Woman defeat four of the finest Amazons and save her island from their treachery?  Spoiler alert: yes.  But not at first.  Turns out Wonder Woman fighting against four Wonder Women can be a bit tough.

A club to the face can’t take down Wonder Woman (for long).  Superheroes need to lose every once in a while.  It shows the toughness of the bad guys and builds suspense.  Read: every story Spider-Man ever appears in.  Round two though, that’s a different story.

Now, Wonder Woman didn’t choose her path in life.  She didn’t ask to be molded from clay and given all these cool superpowers.  But she sure as hell isn’t going to bring about the ruin of Themyscira either.  Superheroes are always misunderstood.  Most importantly, regardless of her humble creation, she has become an inspiration through not her punching, but her positive actions, beliefs, and heroism. All while wearing a one-piece swimsuit.  Her need to explain her reasons for existing is about as important as her need for an invisible jet.

Finally, mercy even for those who don’t deserve it.  You know why.

Look, this is not the first attack on Themyscira.  The island has experienced loads of horrible destruction and soul-crushing pain recently.  But as we end today, Diana’s mother explains why they must still hold onto to their beliefs and gods.  Why the history and culture remains so important that four Amazonian traitors cling so desperately to it.  Feel free to cry.

Green Lantern vs. Sinestro vs. Weaponer, Pt. 1

I know two parters can seem lazy, but I learned about a hundred articles back that people don’t really have the time nor desire to read a thousand words and forty images.  Apparently you all have jobs or classes or something.  So when I decide on a story I want to cover and I end up with thirty five-ish images, I figure no harm in breaking that up — you have TVs to sell or math worksheets to complete or Facebook birthdays to congratulate.  Plus Green Lantern art takes forever to look at anyway, when each page crowds dozens of dudes flying and zapping.

In Green Lantern Corps #53-57, written by Tony Bedard and drawn by Tyler Kirkham, our heroes in the intergalactic police force (Green Lantern Corps) signed a truce with Sinestro’s aptly named Sinestro Corps,  Bigger fish to fry than rainbow laser fights, I guess.  But during a dual rescue operation between the two corps with the usual machismo, Green Lantern Kyle Rayner witnesses this:

More on that in a minute.  Before we continue, what do you know about the human Green Lanterns? Hal Jordan’s the most famous and the one portrayed in the Ryan Reynolds movie.  Alan Scott, the first Green Lantern (who wears a red costume) received his ring from magic and doesn’t technically qualify for the corps.  John Stewart’s the Green Lantern who achieved fame from the Justice League cartoon a few years back.  Guy Gardner’s the hot-headed brawler Green Lantern who until recently sported a bowl haircut.  The newest Green Lantern Arab-American Simon Baz premiered just last year.  And besides the thousands of other Green Lanterns (like the aliens Kilowag, Jade, Salaak, Boodikka, Laira, Arisia, etc.), we have Green Lantern powerhouse Kyle Rayner.  Well, to be fair, he’s not currently a Green Lantern but a White Lantern which includes powers from all seven ring colors (green, yellow, red, purple, indigo, blue, and orange — each one powered by a different emotion). Confused yet?  It’s okay.  Scrub your brain of everything you just read while we talk about Rayner.

Remember in Monday’s article I mentioned that Hal Jordan became evil and wiped out the entire Green Lantern Corps?  Turns out one final ring remained, which drunken artist Kyle Rayner fortunately received.  You see, while the Green Lanterns who came before him had the distinction of being fearless, Kyle Rayner still felt fear — the difference being that he had the power to overcome it.  Or something along those lines.  He immediately gets tasked with defeating his predecessor, who I should add, totally takes down Superman a few issues later.  Good luck to him.  But as we cut to present day, now he just watched a Sinestro Corps member’s head explode like a watermelon at a Gallagher concert.  Rayner engages his hammer-wielding enemy, as most superheroes would witnessing this.

Also, take a moment and appreciate the complexity of the art in Green Lantern comics.

The Weaponer!  How does he know so much about the capabilities of the Green Lantern ring?  Y’see, when Green Lantern arch-nemesis Sinestro betrayed and left the corps, he went to the Weaponer to forge him a new ring.  He chose yellow (because of the weakness Green Lantern rings possessed to it — not anymore, but back then) and his ring charged on the ability to instill fear into others.  Now the Weaponer shows up on Korugar, Sinestro’s home planet, looking for his former client.

Sinestro totally birthed a daughter.  Though like most supervillains, his parenting skills include both emotional and verbal abuse.  Throw some neglect in there too.  Sinestro really only has time for Sinestro.  More importantly, his daughter (and Green Lantern) Soranik Natu currently dates our protagonist.  So you can imagine Rayner’s eagerness to follow Weaponer’s instructions. Unfortunately, like our government, Sinestro won’t respond to terrorists or threats.  More unfortunately, superheroes’ inability to persuade others almost always leads to one option:

Yes, this scene could be cut from my article today.  A simple “Sinestro refuses to go” would save me a few pages.  But I can’t, because their fisticuffs leads to this awesome Rayner moment:

Sinestro refuses to go.  But before the Green Lanterns arrive to save one of their own, I’ll allow Weaponer to make his own case to the reader.  After all, depth to an antagonist adds that ambiguously moral flavor we all love in our modern day comics.

Did you know if you forge a weapon that turns a former Green Lantern into a tyrannical Space Hitler, people may blame you if everything starts to suck?  And though I didn’t come up with that nickname, Space Hitler wonderfully sums up Sinestro’s past few decades in comics.  If you need a refresher and back story, Weaponer’ll handle it:

Wipe those tears away, because the 7,200 members of the Green Lantern Corps can spare a few soldiers to rescue their captured comrade.  Even better, the Green Lantern Honor Guard.

Solid team Rayner assembled.  You have U.S. Marine John Stewart, Alpha Lantern/robot Boodikka, rock monster Hannu, and Ganthet, an actual Guardian of the Universe turned Green Lantern.  They lose.  Badly.

As you know from reading comics, just as everything seems to come to its logical end with the supervillain standing victorious over the beaten bodies of his foes, someone arrives to save the day. Though in this case, everything just became much worse.

We’ll conclude Friday and then we’ll delve into some old school Daredevil on Monday!