Batgirl takes on Arkham Asylum

I guess traversing the halls of Gotham City’s prison for the mentally insane becomes a rite of passage for Bat- and Super-sidekicks.  I assume if he or she can defeat a dozen of Gotham’s scariest in confined quarters, then a bank robbery and car chase won’t pose much of a threat.

Starting in 2006, the series Batman Confidential decided to have rotating creative teams that explored Batman’s earliest memories — the ones where Robin didn’t wear pants.  In Batman Confidential #20-21, written by Fabian Nicieza and drawn by Kevin Maguire, Batgirl (Barbara Gordon) is still relatively new to the whole crimefighting scene.  Unfortunately, a pursuit of the Riddler led her straight into Arkham Asylum.

As you can tell from her costume, she’s had a rough night already.  I’m actually picking up at the climax of this arc and unfortunately, this was back in the day when the Bat-family outfits consisted of less bulletproof material and more spandex.  Alfred must be a hell of a seamster.  Since Riddler’s known for his brains and not brawn, he figures that maybe the other inmates would like to handle the dirty work of beating up a teenage girl.

She brawls with some of the more minor villains, but you can buy the book for that.  Let’s start with the first of our heavy hitters:

Blockbuster’s a popular supervillain name in the DC universe.  This dude above is the original, with steroids leaving him super strong but super dumb.  Let that be a lesson about drugs, kids.  His brother actually became the second Blockbuster and served as the main antagonist for the first 90-ish issues of Nightwing’s solo series.

Batgirl has gained unparalleled popularity over the past forty years.  Mainly because she’s a strong female role model with a PhD and crazy martial arts, but fans’ interest comes from her intelligence. She’s not as strong as Batman and not as athletic as Robin.  So, much like Tim Drake, she has use tactics and strategy to defeat her foes instead of repeatedly bashing their skulls in.

And thank goodness for her intelligence too, because Joker’s next.

If you want a testament to just how much Joker scares people, even fellow supervillains hesitate to set him free.  Two Face gets next billing, and you shouldn’t underestimate the man’s skill.  When Batman and the Bat-family took that year off to travel or hike or whatever, Two-Face took Batman’s place.  And he totally protected the city, even without a cape and batplane.  Though, this is before all that.

When readers complain about the relative “normalcy” of Batman’s rogue gallery, as in most don’t have superpowers, those that do rock hard.  Like Clayface.  That dude’s really hard to take down.

I’ll always have a soft spot for the superpowered Poison Ivy as well, but Batgirl never ends up at the arboretum or test tube — whatever they’re keeping her in.  As Batgirl begins to reach the main control room, she has one final challenge ahead of her.

To be fair, Scarecrow has the fighting skills of a college professor.  One doesn’t really need to study muay thai when all opponents one faces are frantically trying to claw imaginary bugs off of them. Speaking of academic fighting skills, the Riddler stands just behind the final door, ready to get his well-deserved beating.

Catwoman teases in more ways than one.  By the way, the Riddler should always top the list of supervillains you would most want to punch.  He breathes in smug and breathes out ego, plus bowler hats should really only be worn by 1920s gangsters and 1950s private detectives.

With the Asylum back under superhero control, Batgirl can swing triumphantly back home for some much needed rest, because the rest of the day will no doubt be spent slaving over a sewing machine:

Robin & Supergirl take on Arkham Asylum

Gotham City supervillains have no idea how good they have it.  I hate to admit it, but Batman doesn’t really hold a candle to Superman.  Sure, you could give Batman a few days to figure out a way to inject nanite kryptonite into the croutons Clark Kent puts in his soup, but intelligence and tactics can’t always beat god-like strength and speed.  Today, Batman’s rogue gallery learns the hard way about how lucky they are to have Batman patrol their city instead of the more brightly clad alternative.

In Superman/Batman #62, written by Michael Green & Mike Johnson drawn by Rafael Albuquerque, the two title characters have to go take care of some Justice League nonsense — world-destroying threats in the DC universe seem to occur far more often than in real life.  Robin and Supergirl get tasked with keeping Gotham safe for the night.

The difference between Gotham and Metropolis, you ask?  This’ll sum it up:

As usual, something goes drastically wrong when the bosses are out of the office.

So the prisoners of Arkham Asylum released themselves and turned it into a sort of bloody haunted house.  Commissioner Gordon gets to sits back while two teenagers bring out the supervillains one-by-one.

First up, Joker:

Lately, female superhero costumes get brought up more and more in conversations about comics sexism.  And the accusers aren’t totally wrong.  Let’s be fair, comics have traditionally been a teenage male fantasy, and Supergirl dressed like a promiscuous high school cheerleader doesn’t help the stereotype.  While female superhero costumes should probably cover more than 40% of their bodies, the Superman family doesn’t really need costumes anyway.  If they can shrug off asteroid crashes and lava blasts, a costume would only be needed to cover up private parts.  Maybe that’s why Superman wears a thin layer of spandex while Batman dons a hundred pounds of kevlar.

Next up, the Arkham tea party:

Tim Drake definitely learned more than martial arts from the Dark Knight.

Normally, fighting Killer Croc and Poison Ivy takes a brilliant combination of strategy and timing. Either one of them could snap a normal man in half.  Unless you’re Supergirl.  Then plans just seem like a waste of time.

Wimpier villains aside, there’s a good reason Gotham City has to be Batman’s turf instead of Superman’s.  Look, the Man of Steel and his superfamily get insanely powerful baddies like Lex Luthor, Braniac, Mongul, etc.  They can destroy whole cities, go toe-to-toe with the mightiest superheroes in the DC universe, and ooze evil out of every pore.  So what makes Batman’s baddies so exciting?  Well, they’re scary.  Even with no superpowers.  And the last Arkham holdout proves my point beautifully.

Here’s Victor Zsasz:

The Superman family may have super strength, heat rays, freeze breath, and super speed, but just not the stomach for this class of villain.

The day’s saved.  Mission complete.  Welcome to Gotham, the city that’s a never-ending feeling of trying to hold back tears.

Booster Gold vs. Doomsday

I like Booster Gold, in as much as he’s a jerk turning into a hero story.  Premiering in 1986, Michael Jon Carter (living in the 25th century) starred on the Gotham University football team until his father convinced him to throw games.  Exposed and ashamed, Carter used a time machine to go back to the 20th century.  There, with his advanced technology and knowledge of the future, he exploited the crap out of the situation and become super famous and successful.  Luckily, over time his jerk-itude faded and he excelled as a delightful and useful addition of the Justice League.  Here’s a more in depth summary from Booster Gold #1, volume 2, written by Geoff Johns & Jeff Katz and drawn by Dan Jurgens & Norm Rapmund.  Click the picture for the full-sized version.

And Doomsday?  You know Doomsday — he killed Superman:

That’s from Superman #75, volume 2, written by Jurgens and drawn by Brett Breeding.  Regardless of how you feel about the whole Superman dying thing, Do0msday’s relevance as a supervillain, whatever, you can’t deny Doomsday’s crazy powerful.  I mean, he punched Superman to death.  And you know who also knows all this?  Booster Gold, who fought him a month before the issue above in Justice League of America #69, written by Jurgens and drawn by Rick Burchett:

Mismatched opponents, certainly.  Today, we jump ahead to the very beginning of DC’s Flashpoint event — the event that reset the entire DC universe when it ended.  Basically, the Flash’s arch-nemesis Reverse-Flash (actual supervillain name) tried to go back in time, messed some things up, and the entire present changed.  How sad.  But because of all that time traveling Booster Gold did to exploit the past, he just sort of got thrown in the new universe instead of being “tweaked.”  In Booster Gold #44-47, written by Jurgens and drawn by Rapmund, Ig Guara, Don Ho, Rick Leonardi, and Jurgens himself, our hero awakens to one serious problem.  Starts with D and ends with -oomsday.

The first bout goes about as you expect when Superman’s killer fights a dude who can shoot lasers.

Oh yeah, so the government found a way to control the monster with that nifty helmet.  Think of Doomsday as a remote controlled tank, just completely unbeatable.  More importantly, what sort of superhero story would this be without a civilian to save? That’s what makes superheroes superheroic.

Fun fact: Booster Gold actually gave Doomsday his name when describing the beast to Superman.  It won’t be a Jeopardy question, but it can give you a one-time answer if someone ever asks, “Why should I care about Booster Gold?”

Round two begins, but this time with more conviction.

That’s full strength.  Booster Gold unleashes his strongest, deadliest blast — the one saved for final stand stuff — to put down this beast once and for all.  Doomsday suffers the future’s most lethal attack.  The end.

Or not.  Y’see, Doomsday prime objective still remains to slaughter Superman.  Except no Superman exists in the Flashpoint world.  So as Booster Gold escapes death while Doomsday marches on to worthier foes, the poor guy has to jump back into the battle.  Protecting Metropolis’ helpless or whatever.

Now, that’s how Booster Gold should have fought this match.  Superman made the mistake of going blow-to-blow with the monster, and Booster Gold has the punching power of a normal guy in his 30s. Brains over brawn, as comic books prove time and time again.

Round two ends with a solid loss for dear Booster Gold.  But that whole smarts stuff could still be useful, especially since the monster’s pretty much invulnerable.

Round three, kids.

I know this looks bad, but Booster Gold also decided to continue punching Doomsday, the supervillain who shrugs off Kryptonian assaults.  Finally, and seconds away from Booster Gold’s untimely death, his female companion utilizes a good idea.  With her brain.  Like Booster Gold should have done.

I admire the ingenuity of this next part, as bloody as it will be.  Look, nothing the woman can possibly hit, smack, or throw at Doomsday will have any effect.  He can survive in space, sustain any temperature, endure any sort of fall or impact, etc.  So how do you kill an unstoppable killing machine?  Obviously, you have to use an unstoppable killing machine.

Have you ever seen a creature violently rip itself apart through mind control?  Booster Gold has.  And this story gets my favorite literary device: a happy ending.

Well, if I end here, it’s a happy ending — the next fifteen pages not so much.  Still, victory for Booster Gold.  I mean, he did some of the work.

Fighting crime with Manhunter

If you disregard Gotham City, most cities in the DC universe have one, maybe two superheroes each. Superman has Metropolis.  Green Arrow has Star City.  Flash has Keystone City.  Hawkman and Hawkgirl have St. Roch.  You get the idea.  But you know where superheroes aren’t showing their faces?  Real cities.  Like Los Angeles.  About time they get their own vigilante.

The Manhunter superhero title goes back to the 1940s.  A half dozen men donned the uniform and an entire species of Manhunter robots run amok in space.  Luckily, in 2004, Kate Spencer — the best federal prosecuter in Los Angeles, of course — took a shot at the mantle.  I’m so glad she did.  Marc Andreyko, the writer for the Manhunter series, made Spencer into someone both flawed and beloved. She’s wildly insecure, yet horribly overconfident.  Spencer smokes and can barely muster being sub-par mother to her six year-old, though we so deeply root  and care for her.  Most importantly, we as readers get to see the progression of Manhunter as a beginning superhero into the capable powerhouse she rocks today.

In Manhunter #1, written by Andreyko and drawn by Jesus Saiz, we see the initial superhero transformation.  Lots of misplaced justice and frustration at an ineffective legal system — a classic origin story.

Copperhead, a D-list supervillain sewer monster who actually precedes the way more popular Killer Croc, has cannibalized and devoured a dozen innocent victims.  After a recent arrest, Copperhead gets put on trial by a jury of his peers, as bad guys should.  Except one problem:

Now let’s be fair, Spencer can handle a loss in the court room — she’s a big girl.  But once a crazed snake monster, always a snake monster.

And thus a new Manhunter rises from the ashes of obscurity to punish supervillains like the justice system can’t.  With violence.

Quick explanation as to her stolen equipment.  The gauntlets are the same ones worn by Azrael when he paraded around Gotham as Batman while Bruce Wayne nursed a Bane-induced broken back.  The uniform comes from a member of the Darkstars, a group of alien policemen.  And the staff shoots electricity, what else do you need?

Since this marks the first time that Spencer has ever actually fought crime, the battle goes as you expect.  Truthfully, her athletic or martial arts background hasn’t really been touched upon, but you have to imagine that if she decides to kung fu a monstrous supervillain, she must have been at least on her college’s gymnastics team.  That and the suit gives her a (very slight) increased level of strength, durability, and speed.

And her calling card?  Introduction in a city like Los Angeles requires a powerful first impression:

As we browse a few more of her fights, watch as she improves with each subsequent supervillain she brawls.  I mean, she’s not fighting Sinestro or Braniac or anything, but the danger level remains plenty high.  Plus, the superhero learning curve climbs steeply, like in Manhunter #3, written by Andreyko and drawn by Saiz,

Unfortunately, her suit doesn’t have any flight mechanisms, grappling hooks, Batplanes, magic carpets or anything that can prevent her splattering on the ground below.  Remember that:

Ow.  But even Batman didn’t punish bad guys too efficiently his first few months or so.  Though now that I think about it, Batman probably should have done better, what with that decade of combat training under his belt before tackling Gotham’s underworld.  Luckily for dear Manhunter, practice makes perfect, such as in Manhunter #6, written by Andreyko and drawn by Jesus Saiz.

Ever heard of Shrapnel?  Cyborg psychopath?  No?  I wouldn’t worry about it.

How does one beat a villain that usually scraps with superheroes classes above Manhunter?

Hotshot lawyer and genius strategist.  Can’t be a superhero without a ton of talents.  Even then, luck and circumstances play key roles in victory as well.  I feel for our costumed heroes — no pay, nightly beatings, and a disturbing lack of appreciation from the citizens of their devoted city.  But y’know, a hobby’s a hobby.

In Manhunter #25, written by Andreyko and drawn by Javier Pina, our protagonist has fought crime for a little over two years, including fighting alongside the rest of DC’s best in Infinite Crisis’ Battle of Metropolis.  Big time stuff.  Spencer totally qualifies as the real deal now, and the supervillain Sweeney Todd learns this the hard way.

A supervillain so minor that Sweeney Todd doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page, the guy cuts up women or something.  Look, motive isn’t important, just know the baddie’s tough.

Batman wouldn’t do this.  But Batman and Manhunter don’t like each other anyway.

On a final note, what makes Los Angeles a different city than say, Gotham?  The celebrations tend to be grandiose, or at the very least, good for the self-esteem.  Or because unlike the Dark Knight, Manhunter actually smiles once in a while.

Eventually Spencer moves to Gotham City, probably because the dozen or so superheroes currently patrolling the city still can’t break that bloody wall of never-ending violence.  Or maybe she likes a challenge.  Or maybe she wants to date Nightwing.  Either way, I hope she pops up in the New 52 soon.

Batman & Wonder Woman’s villain switcheroo

With Wednesday’s article involving thoughtful, provoking, meaningful questions, today should just be a big ol’ fist fight.  That’s why we really read comics, right?  Right?  No?  In Batman/Superman/Wonder Woman: Trinity, both written and drawn by Matt Wagner, we get a (I presume) non-canonical look at the three DC powerhouses’ first meeting, complete with nuclear threats and giant pigeons attacking helicopters.  Near the end of the book, it’s time to take out the two main antagonists — Ra’s al Ghul and Bizarro.

Let’s pause here.  Bizarro, the disfigured clone of Superman, has all of the Man of Steel’s power but with the mentality of a toddler.  Actually, a terrific combo for a supervillain.  Also, as you know from Batman comics before, the Dark Knight prefers to handle his own rogue gallery and tends not to pawn them off.  Finally, Wonder Woman can certainly match Bizarro’s speed and strength, so why send the fragile Batman instead of the hearty (is that offensive?) Amazon.

Before you immediately dismiss an insane Batman, you should buy the book, because Wonder Woman already had her savage fight with Bizarro:

And it didn’t really go well.  It’s okay, Batman has a plan.  He always has a plan.  But first up:

Wonder Woman vs. Ra’s al Ghul

I like this characterization of Ra’s.  He retains the horrible haircut and megalomania, but now he has an added layer of pervert that makes him way easier to hate.

From a superpower perspective alone, Wonder Woman shouldn’t have a terribly hard time dealing with Ra’s.  The man has 600 years of combat experience, but he’s still non-powered.  And unfortunately, Wonder Woman doesn’t have that convenient kryptonite weakness.  So for the sake of story, we’ll assume Ra’s centuries of training make him an even match for the daughter of Zeus, which is fairly feasible for comics.  Bring on the continuity anger — I’m totally going with her New 52 origin.

The best part of fighting a misogynist?  The inevitable verbal/physical smackdown using all those womanly strengths.

Victory Wonder Woman.  Poor Batman won’t have so easy a time.

Batman vs. Bizarro

With no blue kryptonite handy to incapacitate the reject clone, Batman’s going to have to hit hard and hit fast — his favorite kind of hitting.

I would like to say that Bruce Wayne musters up the last remaining strength and succeeds despite all odds against him, but to be fair, he is going up against a monster who can push moons.

Valiant effort by Batman.  It’s really the thought that counts when it comes to battles.  When your opponent has you pinned on top of nuclear bombs, maybe it’s time to tag in your partner.  Y’know, like a man who has a bit more experience dealing with crazy clones of himself.

Mission complete, and no better panel to end the weekend on.  Superman rocks.