Green Arrow & Batman pal around, Pt. 2

When we left off, our two heroes (the ones in the title of the article) faced down each other’s supervillain.  Green Arrow gets to break a bow over Red Hood while Batman deals with the rocky, toasty Brick.

I admire Red Hood, because fighting in a leather jacket really lessens maneuverability.  Though despite it looking super cool, he’s also about to brawl with a man who doesn’t wear sleeves, so the fashion victory lays at his feet from the start.  I’m not going to show you the entire fight, but enough so you get an idea.  Batman and Green Arrow are Justice League members after all.

Danny Brickwell, currently known as the Star City kingpin Brick, has metahuman superpowers that give him some level of invulnerability and super strength.  While not trained by Batman/League of Assassins like the verbose Red Hood, Brick still enters the battlefield as a formidabble opponent. Even against the Dark Knight, who would like to cross beat-up-guy-with-dreadlocks off his bucket list.

We’re missing somebody.  Remember Speedy, the young teenage female sidekick?  While she would have loved to help smother Red Hood with her mentor, something else grabbed her attention — that annoying superhero obligation that always pops up in worst case scenarios.

Unfortunately for dear Mia, it gets even worse.

Red Hood possesses some major personality flaws.  Like pettiness.  So despite coming here to further solidify his drug empire, a secondary goal popped up.  One that’ll serve mainly to infuriate the old-timers and rattle the youngsters, because nothing makes Jason Todd happier than the indignation of the Justice League.  Oh, and now Batman and Green Arrow revert back to their normal status quo:

The two argue in warehouses, alleyways, rooftops, etc. — really anywhere stained with henchmen blood.  Sidekicks, I believe created for child reader fantasies and to give superheroes someone to talk to, undergoes a never-ending debate of boredom, frustration, and all sorts of awful emotions.  Batman has ten year-olds wearing brightly colored tights uppercutting adults.  It took the Dark Knight fifty years just to give Robin pants.  And Green Arrow?  Besides letting his sidekick actually call himself Speedy, his buddy had the lucky honor of being chosen to participate in DC’s anti-drug campaign a few decades ago.  We move on.  Also, Green Arrow and Batman can totally inflict non-physical wounds as well.

As for Speedy?  Red Hood just wants to chat.  Unfortunately for supervillains, chatting has to be activity that takes place inbetween trying to murder each other.

If you haven’t read Mia Dearden’s Wikipedia page or aren’t caught up on Green Arrow comics, Red Hood’s reveals her biggest, darkest secret.  I mean, it’s been told like a half dozen times before this, but now you can be in this obscure trivia club as well.

Writer and director Kevin Smith introduced Mia about seventy issues beforehand.  Winick, who eventually took over the series, figured that if Mia spent her teenage years as a drug-addled prostitute, well, that may come with some consequences.  As comics fans, we’re more accepting of Martians and Amazons than those with STDs.  And Martians are green and stuff.  So bring on the HIV-positive characters, I’m 100% serious — nothing speeds along diversity like flooding the market.  How about Aquaman?  What about a miniseries involving a rough night with a sketchy mermaid?

To be fair to Batman and Green Arrow, I believe the pulling kids off the street stuff plays more into giving down-on-their-luck kids a chance to become something wonderful and great instead of another bad guys they’ll have knee in the face one day.  But Red Hood’s also a bit unstable, like justifying his evil actions as a means to an end instead of a several year adventure to make Bruce Wayne cry.

The issue ends fairly anti-climatically, but that’s just one more way for Red Hood to anger his former mentor — taking away that wonderful feeling of closure.

Good stuff planned for Monday!  Do something great this weekend!

Green Arrow & Batman pal around, Pt. 1

And by pal around I mean grimace and yell at each other.  Green Arrow has a reputation for being snarky and difficult to work with, and Batman puts his desire for politeness right next to his desire to make out with Commissioner Gordon.  We can agree that they’re probably friends, and their lack of superpowers certainly bonds them in some way.  But I have a feeling that Batman would just prefer if everyone around him shuts up, making noise only to quietly golf clap every time a batarang pierces a henchman’s head.

Today, our adventure in Green Arrow’s hometown Star City takes place in Green Arrow #69-72, written by Judd Winick and drawn by Scott McDaniel.  One of Batman’s baddies touched down in the area, and our Dark Knight arrives to collect the missing piece of his rogues gallery.  That and to give away crazy amounts of money.

Recognize that handsome mayor?  The one in the blond goatee?  Mayor Oliver Queen, who secretly patrols the city in a bright green Robin Hood outfit at night as Green Arrow, also serves as the city’s highest political force.  Though he does wear a small mask, so no one can tell his secret identity while he leaps rooftops and smacks dudes with boxing glove arrows.

My DC history pales in comparison to my Marvel knowledge.  I’m sort of ashamed, and that also means I don’t actually know what Batman did to save Green Arrow’s fair city.  Though if someone mentions Batman rescuing millions of people from a massive danger, I’m cool with that.  No proof or further details necessary — no need for suspension of disbelief here.

Unfortunately, the real reason for Batman’s arrival has to do with his one of his trickiest and meanest supervillains — one that holds grudges from the moment Superboy Prime punched so hard that he shattered reality and a young boy awoke in his coffin.

You probably already know Red Hood’s real name Jason Todd, the second Robin and current supervillain — though in the New 52, he’s evolved more into an anti-hero like a sort of lovable Punisher. Judd Winick, who writes this story, also wrote the arc Under the Hood, which brought Todd back from the dead in the first place.  If anyone has an accurate description of how the revived evil Todd should act and talk, it’s Winick.  Story-wise, Red Hood teams up with local crime boss Brick.

Not to be left out, Green Arrow has his own sidekick as well.  Mia Dearden, going by the superhero name Speedy — a name I believe came about as the original Speedy claimed he shot his bow faster than his boss and certainly not as the least threatening superhero name in comics — lives up to the normal sidekick origin story requirements.  She’s seventeen, orphaned, use to live on the streets, possesses a natural aptitude for roundhouse kicking crime, etc.  Meet Speedy:

She’s made a joke so chilly that you could feel your own body temperature drop as you read it.  Most importantly, she committed the most egregious of superhero mistakes — she made herself a fool in front of Batman.  I imagine when the Dark Knight pops up to aid your crime watch, the thought is less “thank god” and more “dammit, now I have to be perfect.”  Batman judges.  Batman never makes errors.  Batman only glares and criticizes.  Why do you think every Robin that pops out of his teenage kung fu immersion camp comes out as a total badass?  No choice when their mentor is the epitome of human capability.  Physically and mentally.  And he expects everyone who would wears that red and green underwear beside him to be the exact same way, no matter how recently Robin hit puberty.

Superheroes tend to make fairly terrible parents.  Late night work schedule, mandatory emotional problems, constant explosions every time they walk outside, etc.  And while Batman certainly tries his best despite his faults, he didn’t do a fantastic job with Jason Todd.  I mean, Green Arrow isn’t exactly great either, but at least he doesn’t have to pretend to know what affection feels like.

Anyway, the three of them round up information the usual way — gossip spreads when Batman villains step onto streets outside Gotham.  And by gossip, I’m talking about pee from the shorts of any local thugs who spot them.

It sucks to fight an enemy trained by Batman.  It totally sucks.

The battle finally begins.  Lots of fighting and philosophy on Friday!  I’m just as excited as you are!

Superman’s birthday (the famous one)

Out of the 260ish articles I’ve written so far, only about ten or so are from pre-2000.  It’s not bias or lack of interest, but I started reading comics in early 2000 so my knowledge tends to start there.  But with hundreds of thousands of issues of comic books released before then, where does one possibly start to get caught up?  Well, the classics don’t hurt — Watchmen, The Dark Knight Returns, Chris Claremont’s Uncanny X-Men run, etc. etc.  I could go on for paragraphs about the few hundred issues that stand out above the rest.  And they do so for a reason.  So while I decided to brush up on some of the more well-known comics, I found one that rocked my world: Superman Annual #11, written by Alan Moore and drawn by Dave Gibbons.

It’s Superman’s birthday and his pals stop by the Fortress of Solitude to drop off some gifts!  The Justice League cartoon made a very good recreation of this comic in an episode titled “For the Man Who Has Everything.”  Today, let’s enjoy the surprise party gone bad together, but first, how about an alternative Kryptonian birthday for dear Kal-El?

Ah, the beauty of Superman’s future if Krypton never exploded.  A loving family man, living that normal life of no superpowers and no secret identities.  It’s nice to see what could be.  Though, the real world has some perks as well:

Most fans know Jason Todd as a former Robin turned supervillain turned anti-hero Red Hood, but many of us are simply too young to have ever read anything of him as the actual Robin.  Well, here you go.  Go brag to your friends.  Unfortunately, Superman’s a bit  busy to properly receive his guests.

For lack of a better explanation, think of Mongul as a yellow Darkseid.  The supervillain possesses Superman-level strength and durability along with that arrogant alien warlord demeanor we expect from bad guys.  He first premiered five years before this in DC Comics Presents #27, written by Len Wein and drawn by Jim Starlin & others.  In the next issue, we get his origin, which I present to you:

Poor space Hitlers, always looking for new aliens to conquer.  Why can’t the common people realize how good they have it being oppressed and brutalized?  Mongul, never one for giving up, figures that Earth should be as good as spot as any, with its thousands of superheroes flying around.  Though his tastes do remain eccentric, as two decades from now, his son attempts to rule the Sinestro Corps (if you want to see two space Hitlers punch each other).

Can you guess who volunteers first?  Hint: she’s the baddest, toughest warrior not currently attached to a space plant.

Yes, that last panel also turned me on.  But as Batman and Robin attempt to save Superman, the success of the Dynamic Duo also means the destruction of Superman’s fantasy he believes he’s spent the last thirty years living.

Of course Batman, as the world’s greatest detective, solves the evil plant problem (pulling really hard). Though sometimes with superhero victory comes superhero sacrifice.

Put Batman’s fantasy aside (which is equally heartbreaking).  Look, Superman gets angry when you shoot him with acid or launch rockets at him, but his rage can’t compare to when you essentially kill his family in a false reality based entirely on his hopes and dreams.  Because when you rip open Superman’s heart, he strikes back with every ounce of his insane amount of power.

We love Superman because he holds back — a man with his kind of strength choosing to only use a fraction of it.  Self-control is expected in our superheroes, such as them not killing even under the worst of situations.  But though I love superheroes as our betters (physically and morally), nothing’s more satisfying than Superman “letting go.”  The man with the power of a god using his full god-like powers.  More importantly, Mongul deserves it.

That “Burn.” panel gets included in many lists as one of Superman’s most famous moments.  You wonder why Batman keeps vials of kryptonite littered around his Batcave?  Because my goodness, the Man of Steel is pants-wetting scary when he wants to be.

Because face smashing doesn’t seem to be slowing down Mongul’s assault, Robin saves the day. Yes, Robin.  He has to use his brains to defeat opponents, because all the kung fu training in the world can’t make up for the fact that he’s a preteen.

Can we all be thankful that comic’s greatest hero’s fantasy is a family?  Because when you consider some of the alternative fantasies, the sea of blood overflows like a blood tsunami breaking a dam made of blood.

And so am I.  We should all read more of the classics.